Changes In The Wind
by randomwriting
Summary: Taking the next step requires forward motion, but the journey never follows a straight line. Sequel to: Caution To The Wind. SC
1. Winds of Change

Changes in the Wind

Disclaimer: CBS, creators, producers, etc., own all recognizable characters, not me; I'm just borrowing them.

A/N: this is a follow up to: Caution To The Wind

Changes in the Wind

The Winds of Change

The alarm sounded abruptly at 5:oo AM, assaulting his ears with its persistent buzz. Jarred by the noise, but only partially awake, his first instinct was to tighten his hold on his sleeping girlfriend. He buried deeper into the pillow hoping to block out the noise and forestall the inevitable. She stirred in his arms, enough to rouse him further from the depths of sleep. Finally recognizing the noise for what it was, he turned quickly to his other side, careful not to disturb her and turned off the alarm. He sighed heavily and rolled back to her, lightly laying his arm across her waist. She seemed to be slumbering peacefully, at least he hoped she was. Still early, she didn't need to wake for at least another hour and he hated waking her unnecessarily.

He, however, had no such luxury. If he had any chance of getting home in time to shower and shave, he had to get going now. Unable to resist, he dropped a gentle kiss on her soft cheek before climbing out of the warm bed. Turning onto her back, she surprised him by meeting his lips with her own and pulling him into a different kind of a kiss. The kind that disengaged his brain from any rational thought and left him instead with an overwhelming desire for her. Thoughts of leaving now banished, he wrapped his arms around her, pulled her close and lost himself in the kiss.

"Stay," she pleaded, briefly pulling away from his lips. "It's still early."

Moving his lips into her neck, he heard her voice by his ear. 'Stay'. That one word lodged in his brain, effectively snapping him back to reality. 'Go' was more like it if he had any hope of getting to work on time. As it was, he'd have to forgo shaving and coffee this morning. He moved away from her neck and opened his mouth to speak, but she used the opportunity to recapture his lips before he got anything out. He'd barely have time to shower at this rate and would soon have to skip that if she kept on kissing him like that. And he didn't want her to stop kissing him... ever. But his practical side won this internal battle.

"Can't. I'm gonna be late as it is," he said, instantly regretting his words as he pulled back from her and met her green gaze head on. Some sign of objection or disappointment he expected to see there and he was surprised there was none. Anger even, he supposed, anything but the dull, unreadable eyes that looked back into his.

"Fine," she said flatly.

He kissed her quickly and then climbed out of the bed. Evading her eyes, he felt a rising discomfort in his gut. Seeking his clothes off the floor, he dressed quickly, hoping to avoid what were recently becoming their all too familiar early morning discussions. He had neither the time nor the fortitude for it this morning. Casting a sideways glance, he noticed she had turned onto her side, away from him and closed her eyes. Avoiding him, he suspected. This was just as bad as an unpleasant discussion, maybe worse, because this he wasn't used to.

Either way mornings lately were becoming a minefield. The only way he left unscathed was when he slipped out without waking her and left her a note. Sighing heavily, he glanced over at the bed again, her eyes were still closed, but he suspected she was awake. It would be easiest all the way around to just leave, but he couldn't. Not this morning, not when he felt there was something unspoken in the air. And something about her unreadable eyes didn't set well with him. If he left her like this, it would only make the tension between them worse. Decision made, he padded over to her side of the bed, uncertain what to expect.

"I'll see you in a little while," he said softly as he leaned in and gently kissed her cheek. "Okay?"

"Fine," she murmured, staying on her side and keeping her eyes closed. Sighing heavily once more he made his way out of the bedroom and headed into the bathroom.

He grabbed his toothbrush, which was currently sharing space with hers in the holder by the sink. In fact, come to think of it, it was the only item of his currently sharing space with her, except of course, for him. And wasn't that what all this was about? Occasionally, weekends mainly, they stayed at his place, but most nights he stayed with her. Yet the lone toothbrush was the only concession he made, the only evidence of nearly constant presence. Anything he brought with him at night, he took with him each morning, and he never left so much as a journal behind. What was up with that?

The conversation they _didn't_ have this morning ran through his head while he brushed his teeth. It was the one they had had in a variety of different ways the previous few mornings. Usually it wasn't so bad, she merely expressed her disappointment at his leaving. Occasionally there would be a bit of tension between them, but that usually cleared by the time they saw each other again. But the last one, a couple days ago, had been awfully close to a fight and it left both of them miserable.

"_You don't have to get up so early every morning and leave, you know."_

_"Yeah, I do if I want to have time to shower and shave and still get to work on time. You know that."_

_"But you don't have to leave to get ready in the morning. You can shower and shave here."_

_"We've been through this Calleigh, countless times. It's just easier this way."_

_"Easier? Easier for who?"_

_"For both of us, I guess. You can have the bathroom to yourself every morning."_

_"That's not what this is about and you know that Tim. I have no problem sharing a bathroom with you. Let's be honest about what this is really about. You have a problem acknowledging you're in a relationship with me."_

_"That's not true. Why say that? Why do you have to make this into something? This is just about getting ready in the morning, don't read into everything."_

_"Then why is getting dressed here in the morning such a problem for you? Is it that you don't want to leave any of your things here? No, it can't be that, because you wouldn't even have to leave them here, you could just bring them with you each night. I'm actually surprised you bother to leave your toothbrush here, to be honest with you. We don't have to drive in together if that's what's bugging you, God forbid anyone see us together and get suspicious. That's what it is, isn't it?"_

_"No, it's nothing like that. It isn't really anything. We'd probably be late for work if I was here every morning, like I'm gonna be today. Besides, we spend plenty of mornings together when we're not working. So why is this such a problem for you?"_

_"Because Tim, you don't live close-by. You get up really early and end up waking me in the process. It doesn't have to be like that. I actually like seeing you in the morning, we could have breakfast together. Honestly, I just don't get what your hang up is. You still won't even acknowledge our relationship at work." _

_"You know why that is."_

_"No, not really, not anymore. Tim it's been over four months. And they're our friends. Maybe the real problem is you and the fact that you don't know what you want. And if that's the case, then why are you here every night?"_

She hit the nail on the head with that point and thus ended the discussion, because he said nothing after that, nothing at all. She looked at him then, with that way she had, that way of looking straight through to the core of him. And he wondered if she saw there all that he kept from her, all that he kept from himself, because he truly believed she knew him better than he knew himself. He never did answer her question that morning and she didn't press. It had gotten late by that time, giving him barely enough time to get home and change clothes.

Giving her an answer though, that would've been easy. He knew exactly what the answer was to that particular question. He was there every possible night, because after four months of being together, it was getting harder and harder to get through a night without her. The rare times they stayed apart, he found he barely slept at all. Whatever it was that was going on between them was too strong, too deep and, for him at least, too necessary to go without. But this need he had for her caused a panic in him every time he thought about it, so he did his best not to.

And the question of what he wanted? That ought to be just as easy to answer: he wanted her, so why was he having such a hard time telling her? Probably for the same reason he couldn't bring himself to just bring his stuff and leave it at her house. He honestly didn't know.

They had fallen into this relationship so easily when they finally got together. Although getting to that point had taken some doing, once there, it became clear to him that she was everything he never knew he wanted. He had known all along that seeing her outside of work would lead to this kind of involvement, which is exactly why he avoided it for as long as he did. He didn't want the kind of complications he was certain that becoming involved with a close colleague would bring, but ultimately his feelings for her overrode his initial reservations.

From the onset, everything was blissful, surprising both with how effortlessly they blended together. She even went along with his desires to keep their work and personal lives separate, well, at least initially she agreed. He knew now that that particular detail was becoming a wedge between them.

What she hadn't realized in the beginning was that for Tim, keeping the two separate meant completely denying there even was a relationship between them, at least at work. He never admitted that to her, but it was becoming clear that she had figured it out and wasn't all too happy about it. In the beginning it had been easy, they both wanted to keep their newfound happiness to themselves. The professional manner, with which they treated each other at work, dissolved the moment they were away from it. Lately though, he noticed his 'colleagues only' manner with her was becoming an awful lot like indifference. And she'd called him on it, several times to no avail.

It seemed he'd compartmentalized his life with her to the point that it didn't exist once they were at work and unfortunately, that meant keeping it from their friends as well, another growing conflict between them. He couldn't help it, he was a private guy to start with, but this thing with Calleigh was different. His feelings for her were so strong that he needed to keep them constrained at work. He just didn't trust himself not to, especially at crime scenes. If he ever allowed himself to think that his girlfriend were in any kind of dangerous situation, he wouldn't be able to handle it. It was hard enough to think of her as just his colleague and not worry about her.

She'd been patient with him thus far, understood he needed to proceed slowly with this relationship, but maybe her patience was running thin. That's the sense he'd been getting from her when they had these early morning discussions.

This morning though, there was nothing. No discussion. No questions. No argument. And now that he thought about it, no kiss goodbye. In fact, she didn't even open her eyes when he left. He thought about going back to her, but checking his watch, he groaned. He barely had time to get home and change and would probably end up being late to work. This tension between them troubled him, but there was no time to do anything about it now, he'd have to try to fix things later. That is, if he still could. He was slowly beginning to realize that what they weren't talking about and especially what he wasn't talking about was coming between them.

Walking through the still darkened apartment to find his jacket, he tripped on the unopened boxes in the living room, yet another sign that this was shaping up to be a difficult day.

tbc


	2. Christmas in the Air

Changes in the Wind

Christmas in the Air

"I've decided to go home for Christmas."

Her announcement startled him, causing him to look up from the journal he had been engrossed in.

"What? Huh?" he asked, confused and stole a sideways glance at her. She was sitting on the couch beside him watching a movie with the sound on real low. He kept his eyes on her but she continued looking straight ahead, as if this announcement weren't anything important.

"I'm going to Louisiana for Christmas," she said once more, finally turning and meeting his gaze. He studied her, his brow knit in confusion. She had that same unreadable look in her eyes, the one that caused a rising discomfort in him.

"You're going home for a day or so during Christmas week, right?" he asked. This he knew. Still, he felt his anxiety begin to build as he awaited her answer. Calleigh had the entire week of Christmas off, while it was his year to work. The holiday schedule had been determined long before they became a couple and there was nothing either could do about it.

She told him awhile back that she'd be going home to Louisiana to visit family for a day, maybe two at most, during her time off and he'd been dreading it ever since. He figured she didn't invite him to come along because he was already scheduled to work and there was no one who would cover for him over the holidays. Sadly, crime didn't take the holidays off in Miami, not even Christmas day. Now he was beginning to wonder if that was the only reason she didn't ask him. Perhaps if he had tried, he might have been able to find someone to cover him for a day or so.

"Actually, no," she said, now dropping her gaze and avoiding his eyes. "I'm planning to leave right after work on the 23rd and stay until the 30th, my last day of vacation." He looked at her wide eyed as he listened. She glanced at him when she finished and met his eyes. Under his intent gaze, she hesitated, and then added quickly, "You know I haven't been back to Louisiana in quite some time and the whole family is going to be gathering there off and on during the week. It just makes sense for me to be there the entire time, that way I won't miss anyone."

Although he knew she hadn't been home in awhile and thought that this holiday break would be as good a time as any to make a quick trip, it was never supposed to be for her entire vacation. He wasn't looking forward to any time apart, but the idea of her being gone for a week threw him. It also meant she'd be gone for Christmas. She had made plans for the two of them and seemed excited about spending their first holiday together, he knew he was.

"That's a week. I thought you were only going for a day or so." He paused, but she said nothing, just bit down on her lip. "So you won't be here for Christmas?" he finally asked outright. But he didn't need to he already knew her answer. "I thought we were going to spend it together."

"But Tim, you'll be working," she said, as if that explained her decision.

"Yeah, but not every minute. I still thought we'd spend part of the day together. Open presents, make dinner and watch a Christmas movie, that's what we talked about. I was looking forward to it. I thought you were, too. And what about Delko? He's expecting us over for Christmas Eve dinner with his family. He invited us a couple weeks ago and we both said 'yes', remember?"

Her expression grew serious. "You're right. He did invite you and he did invite me, but we weren't going together," she said pointedly and looked away. What she wasn't saying was coming through loud and clear.

"We'd still both be there and we'd be together after," he tried, knowing as he spoke that this was a weak offering.

She looked at him then, or more accurately, looked through him with that way that she had, one that always left him feeling exposed. She didn't speak, but it appeared to him as if there was something on her mind, something she wanted to say, but thought better of it. She closed her eyes and bit down on her lip again, as if biting back her words. He wondered what it was she couldn't say to him. They didn't used to have this problem, or at least he didn't think so. Lately though, he felt her pulling back from him, just as he found he needed her more and more.

"I'm sorry I'll miss it. Eric's mother is such a good cook and it would've been a nice way to spend Christmas Eve. I'll call and let her know I won't be there. I'm sure you'll have a good time anyway," she offered quietly. He noticed that look in her eyes again, the one he'd been having so much trouble reading.

"What about Alexx's party? If you leave after work on the 23rd you'll miss it. Would you really do that?" he asked. It came as a shock that she would consider missing Alexx's annual Christmas party for friends and colleagues. Always well attended, anyone that went was treated like family. Since he almost never went to his folks for the holidays, Alexx's home was the next best thing and in some ways, it was actually better. It was the only part of the holidays Tim ever looked forward to. Well, until this year, that is. Having Calleigh in his life had changed everything for him, including his outlook on the whole holiday season. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he found he was actually looking forward to the holidays instead of dreading them. Until tonight, he thought she felt the same.

"I forgot about all about that," she said as the realization hit her. "I can't miss her party, she'd never forgive me and Christmas just wouldn't be the same."

"It wouldn't be the same without you, either," he said as he tried to imagine getting through the holidays without her and wondered why he couldn't tell her as much.

"Alexx plans this party all year long. I can't miss it," she said, brightening a bit. "So, I guess I'll see you there," she added offhandedly and then turned back to the movie. She hadn't said it in so many words, but he got the implication: she'd see him, but they wouldn't be together.

He picked up the journal he'd been reading, but found he no longer had any interest in it. Turning to the television, he tried to focus on the movie she was watching, but couldn't concentrate while his thoughts were spinning and the tension in the room was increasing. They sat quietly side by side, but they might as well have been in two different places.

"I'll miss you Calleigh," he said. "I'll miss you a lot while you're away," he added very softly.

She turned to face him and the surprise on her face was unmistakable. Clearly she wasn't expecting this admission from him. Should it be this unexpected, he wondered? Did she really not know what she meant to him, how lost he'd be in her absence?

Her features softened and she smiled at him, practically for the first time all evening. "I'll miss you, too. I'm sorry we won't get to spend Christmas together."

She meant it, he knew that and the tension dissipated some, but he still felt that distance between them. It was becoming a growing void that left him feeling very uneasy. He wanted things to go back to how they had been in the beginning of their relationship, when it had all been so easy. He just wasn't sure that was possible. The more he needed her in his life, the more uncomfortable he got with that feeling. Yet, being with her was the only time he felt truly comfortable and happy. Scared of how much he wanted her, he was equally scared of losing her. Stuck between those two diametric feelings was where he currently found himself and it wasn't very pleasant.

What was worse though, was the effect he was beginning to notice that his behavior had on Calleigh. Not only did she seem to be pulling back from him, but he sensed an underlying unhappiness in her as well. He was trying to remedy that, or at least he thought he was. Tonight, for instance he decided to bring his clothes with him so that he wouldn't have to rush off in the morning. She acted pleased, but she still seemed remote, not to mention more tired and less enthusiastic. Their relationship in general just felt off. And it certainly didn't help that in an effort to keep their personal and professional relationships separate, he still treated her with a detached indifference at work.

"Hey, you want to work on decorating that little tree of yours?" he asked, motioning with his head to the four and a half-foot tree in the corner of the room. She'd gotten it out of storage a couple of weeks earlier, along with boxes and boxes of decorations, but they just sat unopened near the room's entry. He managed to trip on them at least every other day. "I'll help," he offered, mindful of the fact that when she had asked him the first time, he had been busy doing some background research on a case that had been bugging him. He figured she'd just decorate without him, since it was something she enjoyed more than he did, but she hadn't. Now he wondered if she would at all and was also beginning to consider that maybe he played a part in her lack of enthusiasm.

"Nah," she said shaking her head.

"You know if you wait much longer, you'll be decorating for next Christmas," he teased, hoping to lighten the mood.

"I'll be leaving soon enough and I won't be here for Christmas, so I just figured, why bother," she responded with a shrug. He looked at her skeptically, his brow knit and his eyes narrowed.

"But Cal, you love Christmas and decorating and all that stuff," he said.

"I know. But things have been hectic at work and I guess I just haven't been in the mood," she said, carefully avoiding his eyes. "I'll get into the spirit of the holidays more when I get to Louisiana. I'm pretty tired. I think I'll turn in." She paused, thought a moment and then continued. "You know it's still pretty early, you can go out if you want. I know Eric was certainly interested in getting you out. Wasn't there some hot new club he was trying to talk you into? He seemed awfully excited about the prospect of the two of you hitting it."

He sighed heavily. That was an uncomfortable incident she was referring to. He had wondered if it was something they should talk about. The three were in the layout room and Eric was complaining that all Tim did was work or stay home with his journals. Eric claimed Tim never wanted to go out anymore. He then harassed him good naturedly about needing to find a woman. Eric, of course, knew just the place where Tim could find one to his liking. Calleigh pretended to ignore their conversation, but Tim got the sense it was making her very uncomfortable. It was definitely making him uncomfortable and he knew he was going to have to come clean with Eric sometime, probably sometime soon. He just wasn't ready to do it that moment, at work of all places.

"I don't want to go out with Eric," he said tersely. "I told him that earlier. You can't possibly think I'd even be interested in looking for women. He was just giving me a hard time. Ignore him."

She shrugged. "Suit yourself. I'm going to bed."

"Calleigh, do you want me to leave? Is that what you want?" he asked, afraid what her answer might be. "Because it doesn't seem like you want me here." It seemed to take forever for her to answer and all the while she kept her eyes trained on his, causing his earlier discomfort to resurface.

"No," she finally answered and shook her head, although he wondered if she had considered it. "You don't have to leave. I'm just tired, is all. Goodnight." She turned and walked out leaving him sitting on the couch feeling more confused than he had in a long time.

For a brief moment he considered going home, since she probably wouldn't care, but he would, so it wasn't an option. He tried reading again, but he couldn't concentrate. Picking up the remote, he flicked through the television channels, hoping to land on something that would divert his attention. Finally he gave up. Unable to sit still or focus on anything, there weren't many options left. Tired, but not sleepy, he decided to turn in anyway. He didn't expect her to be awake when he joined her in the bed, but at least they'd be together and that's what mattered most to him.

Hesitantly he climbed into the bed, careful not to disturb her and lightly rested his arm across her waist. Sleepily, she turned into him, causing him to roll onto his back. Head tucked under his chin, she wrapped one arm around him and left the other tucked by his side. Using his chest for a pillow, she nestled into him, murmuring something he couldn't quite make out. He wrapped his arms around her and dropped a kiss onto the top of her head. Lulled by the sound of her even breathing, he began to relax and allowed sleep to claim him.

For now at least, the distance had closed between them. Under the cover of darkness she had ceased her retreat.

tbc


	3. Leave No Trace

Changes in the Wind

Leave No Trace

He found her alone in the ballistics lab, exactly where he expected her to be. He was happy to find her there and not someplace else in the building. The ballistics lab was secluded, away from the other labs and basically the only place that afforded the possibility of a moment of privacy. Although he generally never sought her out at work, he was hoping to have a minute with her now. She'd fallen asleep early last night and had gotten the first call out this morning. He'd had no real chance to talk to her so far today and he had a lot on his mind, most of it pertaining to her. Intently watching the screen, she seemed oblivious to his presence in the room.

"Hey," he called softly so as not to startle her. She turned at the sound of his voice and offered a weak, tired smile.

"Hey yourself. Do you have some bullets for me? It seems like everyone has bullets for me today, including some left for me, courtesy of the night shift," she said, sounding slightly hassled.

"No, nothing like that. You okay?" he asked, not hiding his concern. "You look tired."

"I'm fine. It's just eye strain, from staring at this screen the past two hours," she said peering at her watch. "What can I do for you? I thought you were done early today."

He nodded. "I am. I'm just waiting on some results. Thought I'd wander over here and see how you were doing."

"Oh," she said, sounding surprised.

"Actually, I wondered if you might like to meet me when you get through here today. We could go out to dinner and then do some Christmas shopping." Based on the look she was giving him, his offer was clearly was unexpected. His plan was to hopefully find his last gift for her, then tackle the remainder of his list with her help. "There's not much time left and I still have a fair amount of shopping to do," he said. He watched as her expression changed from surprise to something else entirely. This look he was quite familiar with and he didn't give her a chance to speak before he jumped in holding up his hands. "I know exactly what you're going to say. I shouldn't have waited till almost the last minute."

She laughed lightly and it warmed him to see her in slightly better spirits than she had been in last night. "Well, you have to admit three days before Christmas is getting to be last minute."

"I know, I know. But Cal, you know how much I hate shopping, not to mention that we've been pretty busy lately," he offered in defense. "And I never know what to get anyone." Never was that truer than this year when finding the perfect gift for her was still proving elusive. Unbeknownst to her, he'd been searching and shopping for her gifts for the past month.

"You should've come shopping with me when I asked you. I really wanted to do it together. I knew you were going to have trouble. We could've taken care of this when I did the bulk of my shopping on that last day off we had together."

He remembered that day and looking back, he wondered if that's not around the same time she started pulling back from him. She'd asked him several times to go Christmas shopping with her and he kept putting her off. She hadn't tried to hide her disappointment when he declined that last time. He'd been using all his free time to shop for her gift, but couldn't tell her. He assumed they'd have lots of time to shop together, but was proven wrong when they found themselves in the midst of a pre-holiday crime wave. Free time became scarce as they found themselves being pulled in different directions and often working opposing hours. During that stretch, they saw each other only late in the evenings.

It was also around that time that he started having a harder time dealing with her at work. She was assigned a high profile, dangerous case and although he knew intellectually that she was capable of taking care of herself, probably better than he was, he had a hard time keeping his concern restrained. It seemed the only way to do that, without burdening her with it, was to become detached, at least while they were working. On reflection, he could see that while it may have helped him to cope with his worries, it was in fact hurting their relationship, or more specifically, hurting her.

"I had things to do that day, but I do wish that I had gone with you because I really need your help with this. But mostly, I just want to see you. So what do you say? Meet me later? I'll make it worth your while," he asked hopefully.

Her smile faded. "Sorry Tim, I've got plans. There's a group of friends I get together with every year. We go out to dinner and swap gifts. Tonight's our night together. I know I told you about this. We've been planning it for awhile."

He nodded and dropped his gaze, sighing heavily. He did vaguely remember her telling him about some plans she had. "It's okay. I'll manage. I'll see you later though?"

She let out a breath and squirmed in her seat as she deliberated. "Well, the thing is, we usually make a late night of it," she said haltingly, suddenly looking sad and very far away.

He guessed that was her way of telling him that she didn't want to see him tonight. "Fine. Have a nice time then. I guess I'll just see you... whenever." He turned and started to walk out, but changed his mind and walked back over to her. Tentatively, he placed his hand on top of hers and started to speak, but was cut off by her abrupt change in expression and a familiar voice coming from the doorway.

"How are we coming on those bullets from the drive-by?" Horatio asked as he joined them in the room. Tim abruptly removed his hand and took that as he cue to leave, hastily mumbling that he was heading back to the trace lab. She called 'goodbye' after him and she sounded cheery enough, but he had seen the sadness in her eyes. That look in her eyes stayed with him long after he'd left for the day.

'That was close,' he thought to himself. It was all the more reason to keep his personal life separate from work. Nothing like having your boss walk in while you're having a tense moment with your girlfriend. He shuddered. Not that it seemed he'd be calling her his girlfriend for much longer by the looks of things lately. And that was pretty much what he was about to break down and ask her, at work of all places. In retrospect, it was neither the time nor the place for that discussion, but this growing void between them was beginning to take center stage in his head and he was having a hard time focusing on anything else. 'When will we talk?' he wondered. Unfortunately she was leaving for her trip soon and if they waited until she was back from vacation, it might be too late to repair the damage.

Walking back to the trace lab he made a concentrated effort to push her from his mind. His results were ready upon his return and all he had left to do for the day was check them over, then file his paperwork. Ridding his mind of her was certainly easier said than done. He was better off when he kept his personal life where it belonged, boxed away until he got home. But Calleigh and his feelings for her were proving impossible to keep boxed up, these days they spilled out all over the place. Finishing quickly, he dropped off his files and made a hasty exit from the building. This was the only time off he'd have for awhile and he had a lot to get accomplished. He never bothered to let her know he was leaving.

He knew exactly where he was headed and he made the drive in record time despite the growing traffic, thanks to his ability to weave in and out of the line of unmoving cars while maneuvering his Ducati. He'd been to most of the shops in this part of the city before, all in search of the perfect gift for Calleigh. He knew she liked these small out of the way boutiques, places he never knew existed before now. Perhaps today he'd find what had thus far proven elusive. He had Christmas gifts for her, lots of them in fact and some of which were probably very nice. None of them however were the 'right' gift. The problem was he wasn't exactly certain what it was he was looking for. He just knew he'd know it when he saw it.

Books, CD's, DVD's, those items were easy to choose because he knew what she liked. Clothes were trickier; he figured she'd probably return the few things he picked out. She looked nice in anything she wore, but he didn't feel very confident about his choices. He didn't trust his taste and wasn't certain she'd like anything he did or that they'd even fit. The whole size issue boggled him. He didn't know her size, so he was left to make haphazard guesses. The whole experience was one he didn't wish to repeat very often. Uncomfortable didn't begin to describe the experience of being alone in one of those places. Just remembering it now made him feel twitchy all over. But that paled in comparison to the lingerie store. Now there was a place he couldn't get out of quick enough. He walked in and out before he felt the first twitch, barely hazarding a glance at the shop's wares. He never did get the point of that stuff anyway. Personally he preferred her in nothing at all. Shopping for jewelry proved easier than shopping for clothing and was much more personal than books or movies, but even that was risky. He wasn't certain any of his choices was necessarily the 'right' one.

A couple more hours looking and he had nothing new to show for his time but a headache and a shopping list left to complete. He'd done as well Christmas shopping for his girlfriend as he was doing in their relationship. Feeling discouraged and still having a lot left to accomplish in not a lot of time, he called upon Delko to bail him out. Delko complied with one condition: Tim had to go out with him out later that evening. Having no girlfriend to spend his time with he acquiesced to his friend's request. It was probably better than staring at the walls and missing her, which is what he had planned.

Delko proved not much better at shopping than Tim, but between the two of them they tackled the remaining people on Tim's list. His buddy then dragged him off to another one of his favorite clubs, where he proceeded to quiz him about how he'd been spending his time the past few months. Tim managed to avoid most of the more pointed questions by either answering indirectly or changing the subject altogether. After a few beers, he actually wanted to tell Eric the truth, but was left wondering just how true it still was. All night he obsessively checked his cell phone for messages, which only served to further pique Delko's curiosity. Missing her more than he cared to admit, he called it a night and set off for his empty apartment. It took a concentrated effort to avoid turning onto the exit for her place instead of his.

Stumbling in the door after grabbing his mail, he made a beeline for the answering machine. Nothing. Not a single blinking red light, same as his cell phone. She didn't call and he never really expected her to. She had, after all, told him it would be a late night for her. And he wasn't dense; he could read between the lines. She had essentially told him she that didn't want to see him tonight.

Earlier today, when he walked out of her lab, he thought that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. With the recent tension between them, perhaps some time apart would do them good. They had spent virtually all of their nights together since the beginning of their relationship. Even on the rare evenings when one or both had plans, they still connected at night, anxious to see each other. It had become an unspoken expectation. Until tonight, that is. Tonight she had spoken and it wasn't to tell him she'd see him later.

Now he didn't know what to think. All he knew was that when he walked into his apartment, she was the only thing on his mind. He placed the mail on the counter and found the grocery list she had left for him. Tossing his jacket on the couch and plopping himself alongside it, he grabbed the remote off the coffee table knocking over her stack of decorating magazines in the process. He took in a deep breath before restacking them, chuckling at the lone issue of Guns and Ammo amongst the home and garden magazines. He knew he'd find T-shirts of hers in the bedroom and feminine products in his bathroom. She'd framed photos of the two of them and displayed them throughout the apartment. Everywhere he looked there were signs of her, in his home and in his life. From the M&M's she brought in large sized bags to the fluffy, new towels she made him purchase to replace his ancient ones. She wasn't here nearly as often as he was at her place, yet everywhere he looked her position in his life was evident.

The same, however, couldn't be said about her home. He'd left no signs of himself there, save the single toothbrush by the sink. Looking around his home now, he finally understood what that meant.

Calleigh had made it clear from the beginning that this was no fleeting, casual affair. She had given him a second chance after waiting around for months while he finally made up his mind about her. Everything she had done to this point, told him she was in it for the long haul. Excited about their relationship, she had been anxious to share the news with their friends, but he had dashed that. She had gone out of her way to make certain he felt as at home in her apartment as he did in his own, even going so far as to purchase a chess set so he could play whenever he wanted. Not to mention the fact that she had painstakingly spent hours learning the game so she could provide him with a little competition. He smiled to himself thinking about the first time they played together after he spent the evening teaching her the finer points of the game. Not that long ago, she had almost out maneuvered him. Well, she thought she had, till he surprised her at the end.

Now he wondered what message he had been giving her. He told no one about the relationship and treated her indifferently at work. How must that have felt to her? It was beginning to become clear to him now how he'd hurt her. And although he spent more time at her place than he did at his own, there was almost no evidence of him there, despite how welcome she'd made him. Was he unconsciously telling her that his presence was somehow fleeting or casual? If she was pulling back, could it be because he'd given her nothing to grasp onto? The more he thought about it, the more he realized that he'd managed to leave no trace of himself in her life.

None except the hurt he'd been seeing in her eyes. Now he knew that's what the unreadable look was, the one that caused a feeling of discomfort every time he saw it. It pained him now to know he'd put it there. She was all that mattered to him, yet he'd never even told her. He could no longer imagine his life without her in it. Wasn't it time she knew? He dropped his head in his hands, wondering what it was he had been so afraid of, because nothing felt quite as terrifying as the thought of losing her. The more he thought about her, the more he missed her. He'd give her the space she needed tonight, but tomorrow he was going to have to try to make things right. If only she would give him another chance.

All around him were signs of her, but it wasn't enough. She was missing, leaving emptiness in her place. It was going to be a long and lonely night. He was hopeless he knew it. Hopelessly in love that is and it was time she knew that.

tbc


	4. Forward Motion

Changes in the Wind

Forward Motion

First to leave work yesterday, he managed to be the last to leave today. He'd seen little of Calleigh all day. A brief passing in the hall and an exchange of information in the trace lab was the extent of it. All afternoon as cases and evidence piled up for him, he wondered if he would ever get out of the lab. He feared he'd miss Alexx's party completely the way things were shaping up. He also worried he'd miss his only chance to see Calleigh before she took off on vacation. Fortunately, he caught a break and was able to escape the lab for the night. He was grateful that luck was on his side tonight, for he knew it was going to take luck and a whole lot more to convince her that he was worthy of yet another chance.

From the look of the cars parked up and down the street, it appeared he was among the last to arrive at Alexx's. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Calleigh's car parked amongst the others. He had hoped she would still be at the party and even though she hadn't called him to tell him otherwise, he couldn't be certain. It wouldn't surprise him if she wanted to get started on the road and not wait around for him; she'd already done her share of that.

One glance was all he needed to see that Alexx and her husband had gone all out with the decorating. Their home was decked out in twinkling lights and holiday greenery, making it a sight to behold. He stood shaking his head, allowing the hint of a smile to tug on his lips. Letting himself in the front door, he gave the crowd inside a quick once over. Besides his hosts, there was only one person he sought. Looking around, he noticed it was even more decorated inside than it was outside. He thought of his own place, where the only outward signs of Christmas were a few scattered cards on his desk, an assortment of various wrappings and a pile of wrapped gifts. Rather dismal compared to this. Calleigh's place had fared not much better since her Christmas spirit went missing. She at least had her cards displayed, but little else to remind one of the fast approaching holiday. Her decorations remained boxed and the little tree sat in the corner of the room unadorned. He knew now it wasn't her upcoming trip that had deflated her holiday spirit, more likely he was the culprit.

Greeting folks he knew and a few he didn't, he gratefully accepted the beer from one of them when it was slapped it in his hand. He tipped his head at Alexx, after spotting her in the far corner of the room involved in lively conversation and she smiled warmly in return. He heard Delko's jovial voice above the crowd, but still hadn't spotted Calleigh.

He finally spied her on the opposite side of the crowded room standing by the beautifully decorated Christmas tree. His heart sped up in anticipation of the talk he hoped they'd finally have. The urge to go to her was strong and proving difficult to keep restrained. The urge to take her in his arms was proving even harder to deny. He could close the distance between them in record time, but meeting her across the room would do little to close the distance that had been steadily growing between them. Mindful of where they were and who they were with, he stayed rooted in place and sipped his beer while he continued to watch her chat with various people from the lab.

She looked up finally and met his gaze, offering him a smile in greeting. But it was a sad, wistful smile, one that only served to emphasize their current situation. Neither motioned to join the other causing that feeling of discomfort he'd been carrying around with him for days to once again resurface. Delko chose that very moment to come over and chat. He didn't see Calleigh again until Delko left to freshen his drink.

She stood by the lit tree, illuminated by the glow of the tiny lights. Holding someone's baby, she was pointing out the tree ornaments while carrying on an animated conversation with the little one in her arms. The smile was back on her face, the real smile, the one that reached all the way to her eyes and made his heart flutter when it was directed at him. He knew in that instant what they needed to get them out of whatever it was they had gotten mired in: forward motion.

She never told him what she wanted and he never asked. Maybe it wasn't something she even admitted to herself, but until now, he'd always known how committed she was to him and he'd never had reason to doubt it. Sadly, she couldn't say the same about him. He knew he hadn't been honest with her, or with himself, about what he wanted or even how he felt. It was time now, had been for some time, it just took him awhile to realize it and he hoped it wasn't too late. He knew if he looked deep in her eyes, he'd see the truth along with the secrets she kept there. And he'd see something else as well; he'd see the hurt he'd caused her.

For a moment he lost himself and allowed his mind to wander as he watched her with the baby. Another Christmas maybe, another tree, another baby in her arms... For the first time these thoughts didn't cause the panic they usually did, instead, they felt nice. The feelings and images these thoughts evoked finally felt comfortable and somehow right.

Deep down, he'd always known she was the only one for him. He'd known it on some level ever since that very first night on the beach, he just never allowed himself to fully believe it. Somehow, he'd gotten stuck, unable to move forward and he'd unwittingly pushed her away. Afraid of his own feelings, he'd been unwilling to embrace them and even more afraid of sharing them. But those fears were gone now. The real panic, that came at the thought of losing her.

She handed the baby back to its mother and seeing this he made his move. Rapidly closing the gap between them, he was at her side and grabbing her hand before she realized he was there. Wordlessly he sped her along, stopping just shy of the front door, in Alexx's small foyer. It was the only close, quiet space he could think of and his thoughts were spinning so quickly, it was best not to add to the chaos in his head right now by thinking.

"Tim, what is it? Where are we going in such a rush?" she asked breathlessly.

He positioned her with her back towards the door, while he faced the door itself, knowing if he thought about where he was, or who was around, that he'd lose his nerve in a heartbeat and this, this simply could not wait. She looked at him wide eyed and he saw the bewilderment all over her face.

"Are you leaving?" she asked, still waiting on some response from him.

"No, not leaving." He shook his head and pulled her close, wondering if she could feel his heart pounding in his chest.

"Are you okay?" she asked softly. He didn't answer, just nodded, looked down and met her eyes. "Tim what's going on?"

"I just wanted to talk to you." But instead of talking he leaned in and placed his lips on hers, deepening the kiss as he felt her begin to respond to him. Pulling apart, he opened his eyes and caught her studying him intently. Green pools of confusion were staring back into his eyes.

"Calleigh, I miss you."

"It was just one night we spent apart Tim. And I've decided not to leave until tomorrow, so we still have tonight."

He shook his head and took in a deep breath, hoping it would somehow help decrease his heart rate and steady his nerves. "No, that's not what I meant. It feels like you've been leaving me little by little for awhile now and I haven't done anything to stop you." She didn't respond, but it was most telling that she didn't try to rebut his words. "I don't want to lose you Cal. I don't want this distance between us. I don't want to spend any more nights apart."

"Tim..." she started, but stopped, as if she didn't know quite how to respond.

"I just want us to move forward, to whatever that next step is. Decorating Christmas trees, telling our friends, sharing a closet, whatever it is that you want, as long as we're together. That is, if you still want me at all. Because I know I want all those things with you and I don't know why I've been so stuck the way I have been, so unable to move forward." Her eyes shimmered with the tears he knew were close to the surface, the same ones he knew she wouldn't let fall. He watched as she nodded her head ever so slightly. "I've been searching for almost a month for exactly the right Christmas present for you, the one that would tell you exactly how I feel. And I was going round and round to the shops, driving myself crazy, when I realized that I've never really told you how I feel." He took in another deep breath and swallowed hard before continuing. "I love you Calleigh. I love you more than you can probably imagine and I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to tell you. You've already given me more chances than I deserve... and here I am asking for one more... but Cal, I do love you, with all my heart."

"It's okay Tim." He watched as she took in a breath and let it out slowly. She smiled then, the one that he'd been missing and she lightly placed her hand on his cheek. "I love you, too and I have all along. I'm not going anywhere, not the way you think." He responded to her admission by capturing her lips once more. This time he kissed her with all the emotion that he had been holding back. Needing to breathe, they pulled apart and as they did, he noticed her eyes peering to the side of him while her cheeks reddened. "We've, uh, attracted a bit of attention," she said very softly as she leaned into his chest.

He chuckled lightly, tilted her chin to him and lightly brushed her lips with his own. "I can't say I'm surprised. We are in the midst of a crowded Christmas party." He turned then and faced a small gathering of curious, wide-eyed onlookers, which included their two closest friends, Alexx and Delko, but fortunately not their boss. "You might want to look elsewhere for your own," he said as he motioned upwards with his head. "Cause this sprig is taken."

Calleigh, along with everyone else, looked upwards then, to the small green sprig of mistletoe hanging from the ceiling above them. She dissolved into laughter and leaned into his chest as he tightened his hold on her.

"Oh Honey, I wouldn't dream of interrupting what you've got going on," Alexx said with a sly smile. "I just wanted to make sure you weren't leaving without saying goodbye. We'll leave you two to your mistletoe. And Timmy, you can thank me later for remembering to hang it this year." She laughed and he could picture the grin on her face, but he didn't turn to look because he was too busy taking advantage of his place below the hanging sprig with the woman he loved in his arms.

"You know, you might want to consider giving someone else a chance." The voice and laughter of Delko loomed from behind him.

"You'll have to find your own girlfriend. I'm not sharing mine," Tim told his friend, acknowledging publicly for the first time, the relationship between himself and Calleigh.

"You know, you've got a lot of explaining to do. Quite a lot. Both of you," Eric said in mock seriousness, although Tim knew there was truth behind his friend's teasing words. "And I'll be waiting, too. Don't think I'll be letting you off the hook. So whenever you think you'll be through under there, come and find me. 'Cause I can't quite believe what I'm seeing," he said with a laugh before leaving them alone. He heard Delko's continued laughter and mumbling as he wandered away.

"So our secret's out. You sure you're okay with that?" she asked.

"It's a little late now," he chuckled. "But yeah, I'm okay with it, except having to explain it to him. Well, him and Horatio. Honestly though, I'm sorry it took so long. I know it was pretty uncomfortable for you at times and I appreciate the fact that you stuck it out as long as you did."

"You had your reasons. It was hard, but I didn't want to push. I figured you'd come around sometime. Well, at least I hoped you'd come around and you did, in a most unexpected way." They both laughed. "So I was thinking... you said something about decorating a Christmas tree and I happen to know where we can find one. Along with boxes of decorations that someone I know keeps tripping over. Interested?" she asked with a gleam in her eye. He nodded. "I think I can probably be persuaded into sticking around for a few days and making a much shorter trip to Louisiana."

"Yeah? You'd do that?" he asked hopefully, his eyes never leaving hers.

"Yeah, I would. 'Cause there's really no place I'd rather be and no one I'd rather spend Christmas with," she paused, "and there's certainly no one I'd rather share a closet with." Standing on tiptoe she reached up and gently placed her lips on his.

And nothing had ever felt better, because this Christmas he'd given and received the only gift that truly mattered.

tbc


	5. A Price to Pay

Changes in the Wind

Disclaimer: CBS, creators, producers, etc., own these characters, not me. I'm just borrowing them.

A/N: This story was originally completed & posted in December. However, I realized sometime later that the journey for these two characters was far from over. Therefore, the story continues...

Changes in the Wind

A Price to Pay

"So, are you gonna help me or not?" Tim asked, looking up from the microscope in the direction of his friend.

"Still thinkin' about it," was Eric's reply, causing Tim to groan and return his attention to the specimen.

"It's not that big a deal. I just need to borrow your truck for a couple hours tonight," he said, feeling his frustration rise when it became apparent that Delko wasn't going to make this easy for him. "It'll save me from having to make several trips in my car. I don't even need your help loading it," Tim continued before being interrupted.

"Oh right. Like you're gonna move all that stuff yourself?" Eric questioned from his position at the counter.

"It's not that much stuff. The only big thing is my desk, I can do everything else myself," Tim said with exasperation as he glanced over his shoulder.

"She's actually letting you bring furniture? Sure she's seen any of it? Must be serious, or else it's true what they say about love being blind," Eric teased. "But then we already know that, cause she's with you," he said, laughing at his own joke.

"Must you comment on everything?" Tim asked looking up again, his voice dripping with annoyance. "Can you just answer the question?"

"So you do need my help?" Eric asked with a smirk, as he met his friend's eyes.

Knowing exactly where this conversation was heading, Tim scrubbed his face and raked his hands through his hair in frustration before answering. "Fine. I need your help. Happy now?"

"No, not happy. You want me to help you move into your girlfriend's apartment. Your girlfriend, the one I just found out you've been dating behind my back for the last four months. Someone who, might I remind you, is also my good friend and someone I work with every day. Every day. And you still think I should help you?" Eric asked, his expression now serious.

"Well, not if you're going to be like this, I don't," Tim mumbled, putting his head back over the microscope. "I still don't know why you're making such a big deal about this. I don't have to tell you everything that goes on in my life, Delko. We just thought it would be best to keep our relationship out of work. Like I'd like to be doing now," Tim groused.

This was just another reminder as to why he always knew mixing work and his personal life wasn't a good idea. Of course, the likelihood of keeping the two separate was no longer even a remote possibility after his very public display of affection at Alexx's Christmas party, a party which happened to be attended by a vast number of people he worked with, including his boss. But he really had no choice about that, they may have both been at the same party, but with the growing distance between them, they were clearly not together in more ways than one. If he wanted to close the chasm that had developed between them, one that he'd created, he had to make a rather bold move. She wasn't going to leave that party and spend her holidays in Louisiana without first knowing how he felt, which meant of course, taking their previously secret relationship public.

Oh well, he thought, thinking back to that night under the mistletoe, as a fleeting half smile crossed his lips, it was a small price to pay to repair the damage he had done to their relationship and to get Calleigh back in his arms. It was also a necessary step to take in order for them to ever be able to move forward in their relationship and it seemed as if that was what they both wanted. The downside, however, was that since news of the relationship had traveled around the building with the speed of a virus, he now had to deal with the fallout of that revelation, which included the bothersome questions, comments and snickers from everyone he encountered at work, not to mention his buddy's annoyance at having been kept in the dark. He wasn't sure which was worse, being a private person whose personal life was now the talk of the lab or dealing with his friends' varied reactions.

Then there was the whole business of having to explain to Lt. Horatio Caine, how two of his subordinates had managed to become romantically involved, yet kept this information from him for a few months. '_That was a pleasant encounter'_, Tim thought sarcastically. Kind of a surreal experience actually, as it was the equivalent of being reprimanded by a boss / mentor and disappointing a friend at the same time. Tim wasn't quite sure if Horatio minded that he had been kept unaware of their relationship, more as a supervisor or as a friend. All Tim wanted now was for the whole thing to die down and quickly at that, for he had about run out of patience.

Calleigh might be missing out on all the hoopla surrounding their relationship while she was out of town, but unless the lab gossips moved on to something else, she'd probably get it when she got back and would undoubtedly handle it better than he had. She could count though, on receiving from their boss the same stern lecture that he had gotten. They could date, he was told, as long as they kept their relationship out of the office, but would no longer be allowed to work the same cases because of potential conflict of interest.

That in itself presented a conflict for him, because now he didn't know which was worse, worrying about her when they were together in the field at a crime scene, or worrying about her when she was out in the field without him around. Just the thought of it made him shudder. There was no getting around it; he was going to worry about her no matter what, even though she didn't need him looking out for her whatsoever. The voice of his buddy pulled him out of his thoughts and brought him back to the current conflict at hand.

"Oh, you kept it out of the office alright. I didn't even think you liked her very much. You barely talked to her and when you did, you were always annoyed. Always," Eric emphasized. "I'm still surprised she gives you the time of day, if you want to know the truth," he continued with a sarcastic chuckle.

_'So am I,'_ Tim thought. _**'**So am I._' "Think you're done now?" he asked, quickly losing patience.

"Hardly," Eric replied, causing Tim to groan loudly. "Wouldn't it have been nicer if you had told me, so I would've stopped trying to fix you up with anyone who would have you? I always wondered why Calleigh was glaring at me all those times. She's my friend, too, you know and she wasn't very happy with me. Now I know why," Eric told him pointedly.

"I know, I know," Tim replied with exasperation. "She wasn't very happy with me, either," he said, dropping his head. "Look, it was uncomfortable for everyone. Let's just drop it. Besides, it's not a secret any longer, you know now. And haven't we already had this conversation, more times than necessary?"

"Well, it's not even like you told me. The two of you joined at the lips at Alexx's party was the give away. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes…" Eric muttered in a huff.

Casting a glance in his direction, Tim caught the flash of hurt in his friend's eyes and sighed heavily. Obviously this was bothering him more than he realized, but as much as he wanted to smooth things over with Eric, he was still irritated at having to talk about his relationship at all and at work of all places.

"I'm sorry, alright? We explained everything to you that night and every time it's come up since then. Can we just stop talking about it now?" Tim asked, sounding more harassed than sincere in his apology, as he stood up from the microscope and leafed through the papers on the table. "Have you identified that leaf particle we found on the vic yet? 'Cause I've got the results from the soil sample and it might help pinpoint where the killing took place," Tim said, attempting to change the subject.

"Not sure yet, but I think I might be close," Eric replied tersely. A tense silence settled over the two as they worked, but the quiet didn't last for long. "If you found out I was sleeping with Calleigh behind your back, don't you think it would bother you?"

Stunned, Tim turned to meet his friend's gaze with widened eyes as he pondered that cryptic question. '_Delko_ _and Calleigh?'_ he wondered. _'No, she would've told me, I know she would've. There was never anything between them,' _ "What?" Tim asked, trying to suppress the emotion on his face.

Immediately, Eric put up both hands in a defensive position. "Whoa… Relax. That came out all wrong. That's not what I meant. You know there's never been anything between us but friendship. I shouldn't have said it like that."

"Ya think?" Tim all but snarled at him.

"I'm sorry, but you should've seen your face," Eric replied with a chuckle. "You've got it pretty bad for her."

"Is there a point to this?" Tim questioned with the last of his patience waning by the second.

"I just wondered how you would've felt if the situation had been reversed, is all," Eric answered sheepishly.

"I don't know. I doubt I would've cared this much who you were seeing or for how long." '_As long as it wasn't Calleigh.' _

"Yeah, whatever," Eric replied, now engrossed in the pages of the plant life book on the counter.

"I gotta go check on some samples I left for DNA. Page me when you're done here," Tim said before taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry Delko, you're right, I probably should've just told you. I thought about it, I'm sorry I didn't," he quickly added before walking away.

"So what time tonight?" Eric called to his back.

Sighing deeply, he turned once more to his friend. "I'm not sure. I'll call you, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be around," Eric replied.

The remainder of the day passed in a blur of activity following leads and wrapping up the evidence. Feeling fortunate that he had gotten out of work at a reasonable hour, thanks to no last minute call-outs, he was relieved he had some time to finish packing before Eric showed up. Calleigh's absence over the last couple of days, had allowed him a chance to figure out just what he'd move from his apartment to hers and to begin boxing things up. The packing he didn't much mind, but the decision-making wasn't easy. The amount of clothing he packed was based upon the amount of space he estimated he'd have in the closet and the small dresser allocated to him. Good thing he didn't have a large wardrobe, he realized, after he'd first seen how packed her closet already was. Kitchen stuff could wait; he'd let her help choose what he should bring when she got home.

Books though, they outnumbered anything else in his apartment and choosing which ones he wanted around was proving to be the biggest hassle, but he couldn't bring them all, there simply wouldn't be room. Even adding a small bookcase of his own to what she already had in the apartment, wouldn't provide the necessary shelf space he needed. Glancing up and down at his floor to ceiling bookcase, he groaned in anticipation of this final task, but he only had an hour before Delko would be there so he had to get moving.

Moving out of his apartment haphazardly, leaving most of his belongings behind, was more disruptive than he originally thought. Space would be a premium at her place, since her smallish two-bedroom apartment was already packed with furniture and other household paraphernalia. They certainly didn't need doubles of everything. With four months to go on his lease, he had no immediate worries about what to do with the furniture and stuff he was leaving behind, but he would have to figure it out when the time came. Having access to his apartment still, meant he could go back to retrieve anything he needed, or move back if things didn't work out between them, but that was something he didn't want to dwell on. The time had come for forward thinking and positive forward thinking at that. He was tired of dwelling all the time on what might go wrong.

Certain he had made all the right packing decisions, he looked around the apartment once more feeling a bit wistful. Not exactly a sentimental guy, yet he still felt a kind of attachment for the place, his first home after making his way to Miami. Sinking into the old, faded blue couch, with the scattered wine stains and a cigarette hole made by a careless guest years ago, he realized this was not a piece of furniture he'd be missing. Though still comfortable, even he could see it had become an eyesore. He'd had his eye on a leather one for awhile now, he just never made the time for such shopping expeditions. Leather furniture, however, was probably not something Calleigh, with her love of all things patterned and floral, would ever go for, so it was for the best that he'd never bought it.

His eyes widened at that thought. Was he now thinking about everything in terms of Calleigh, he wondered? '_When did that happen?_ _ Probably a long time ago and I never saw it coming._' Occasionally, he questioned if maybe they were rushing things, as it was still relatively early in their romance and neither was probably the easiest to live with, nor had either ever cohabited before. But the idea of not being with her as often as he could when they weren't working was intolerable. The fear that they were making a mistake had begun to quiet down in his head after they'd talked about it for a couple of days and once she left town for her holiday visit with family, he found he was really warming up to the notion. The thought of moving in with Calleigh actually made him happy and that was really the thing that shocked him the most when he really thought about it, but there it was, as clear as a sunny, blue day in Miami for all to see: his happiness was now dependent on one Southern, blonde ballistics expert and his head was still spinning from the speed with which that had been accomplished.

TBC


	6. Homecoming

Changes in the Wind

Homecoming

"What's next?" Eric asked as he packed up the rest of Calleigh's stereo equipment while Tim finished connecting the remaining cables for his own stereo system, which was now housed in the spot just vacated by his girlfriend's.

"Think we're done for the night. The rest of the unpacking can wait till tomorrow or sometime soon," Tim announced. "I just wanted to get the desk and stereo set up tonight. Nothing else is as important. I've got enough clothes already unpacked."

"Good, I'm beat and I need a refill," Eric said, holding up his empty beer bottle. "Want one?"

"Yeah. Thanks," Tim replied, before switching the CD player on and inserting a disc. Success was met with a tired half smile as the music filled the room.

"How'd you get her to agree to switch out stereo systems, or doesn't she know?" Eric asked. "You know hers isn't even that old."

His question was met with a chuckle. "I told her we were a package deal."

"And she went along with that?" Eric asked laughing.

"Of course she did. Besides hers is crap. I don't know who talked her into wasting her money on it," Tim replied shaking his head, accepting the cold beer his friend offered. "Thanks. And thanks for your help tonight. It was more stuff than I thought," he said, looking around at the pile of boxes that took up the far corner of the room and the open boxes, plus wrapping papers scattered all over the living room floor.

"And still, your apartment is pretty full of stuff. What are you gonna do when your lease is up?" Eric asked. Tim shrugged as he made his way to the couch kicking papers out of his way while he crossed the room, too tired to pick them up. Delko chose the chair closest to where he had been standing. "Well, my folks have some room in their attic if you need to store anything."

"Thanks. I'll have to go through the stuff sometime. I really haven't figured out what to do with the furniture, most of it is pretty worn," Tim said, sinking into the cushions, leaning back and closing his eyes for a minute.

"Yeah, not likely Calleigh will see any of it fitting in with the decor here," Eric teased before putting his beer down on the coffee table. Tim flung a coaster at him and he caught it with a laugh, before placing it under his drink. "She's got you well trained," he said, laughing more.

"Right, like you've never been here before," Tim remarked, careful to set his own beer on a coaster. "You do everything she asks like an eager puppy, so I don't think I'd be pointing any fingers."

" I know, it's true, it is hard to say 'no' to her, could be her prowess with the weapons. Calleigh does like things neat and tidy, must be a daily challenge for you," Eric remarked with humor.

"Ya think?" Tim asked sarcastically.

"Makes me wonder how the two of you do it," Eric said, his voice taking on a more serious tone. Tim raised his eyebrows, wondering where this was going. "I mean, I think it's great that the two of you have gotten together, but it's not like you're a pairing I could ever see. You are a bit … different," he remarked, to which Tim merely shrugged. "Do you just cancel each other out or something?" he asked, earning a laugh from his friend.

"I don't know, it just works, I guess. I try not to think about stuff like that. Maybe you should ask her, I bet she thinks about that stuff. On second thought, maybe you should just not think about it at all," Tim joked.

"So does this mean no more going out for the two of us?" Eric asked, his expression once again serious.

"No. I can still go out Delko, maybe just not as often," he began.

"And not with any random women. I get it. Not that I could ever find any for you, anyway," Eric interrupted. "Not even my leftovers."

"You're unbelievable. I didn't need your help. What makes you think I'd even want your leftovers? I did fine myself. Better than fine actually and way better than you," he announced raising his bottle in salute.

"True, you did, this time anyway," Eric said shaking his head in disbelief, but joined his friend with raised bottle. "Still…" he began, but allowed the thought to trail off.

"What?" Tim asked, his brow knit in confusion.

"Moving in. That's kind of serious." Tim nodded. "Have you ever? You know, with anyone before this?"

"No," Tim answered, shaking his head. "And never wanted to. You?"

"Nah, not even close. Can't even imagine it," he said shuddering. "You tell your folks yet? Will they know where to find you?" Tim shook his head. "Do they even know you're dating, or did you keep it from them as well?"

"I might've mentioned it," Tim shrugged. "I don't talk to them that often. The phone is still hooked up at my apartment for the time being. If they need me they can reach me on my cell. I'll tell them eventually, I suppose," he answered, shrugging again and taking a slug of his beer.

"So is it comfortable?" Eric asked motioning with his head to the pale green striped sofa Tim was relaxing on.

"It's okay," came the reply. "Not as comfortable as mine, though."

"'Cause you know that's where you'll be when you piss her off," Eric teased." and notice I said, when, not if."

"Funny," Tim answered tossing a floral pillow from the sofa at his friend's head.

"I thought so," Eric replied before tossing the pillow back. "Although, I might let you crash on mine if she prefers you not mess up her couch with your sloppy self."

"And maybe that's where you should be heading now," Tim suggested getting off the couch and collecting the bottles, "cause we have first call out, in case you forgot."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks for reminding me. If I'm not at my best tomorrow, it'll be all your fault, you know," he said, raising himself from the chair and stretching with a yawn.

"And whose fault is it on all the other days?" Tim asked with raised eyebrows.

"Wouldn't you like to know? But that life is over for you now. Not that this one is too shoddy. Speaking of your love life," Eric began before Tim interrupted.

"And I wish you wouldn't Delko," Tim told him with a smirk before bringing the empties to the kitchen.

"When is she due back?" Eric called through the room.

Tim shrugged as he wandered back into the living room. "Don't know. Her return trip was open ended. Soon, I hope."

Eric shook his head and grinned. "I still can't believe it, you know. Maybe you could have me to dinner, so I can see you two up close in your natural environment."

"Don't hold your breath," Tim answered.

"Calleigh will invite me. She loves me. Well, obviously not the same as you, but she probably likes me more. I'm more fun than you," Eric said.

"You keep telling yourself that Delko, then remember who she's with," Tim said, laughing as he walked him to the door.

"Not a nice way to treat the guy who helped carry that ridiculously heavy, ancient desk of yours," Eric said, sulking.

"Fine. Maybe you can come to dinner. See you in the morning, Thanks again for the help."

"You're welcome. Night."

"Night." Locking up, he turned his attention to the boxes waiting to be unpacked and the litter on the floor. His first thought was the right one, he realized, the unpacking could wait for now, there was nothing he needed just then. Yawning, he turned the stereo off and flicked off the lights as well, before heading to the kitchen. Surveying the mess with a squint, he tidied up only what couldn't wait till tomorrow and then shut the light off. His cell phone rang as he made his way to the bedroom and the number on the screen caused an automatic smile to pass his lips.

"Hey," he said, as he flopped on the bed and turned on the bedside lamp.

"Hey yourself. Where are you? I wasn't sure if you'd still be up," Calleigh said in her familiar and since arriving in Louisiana, more pronounced drawl.

"Tired, but still awake. I was hoping you'd call when you got in. I'm at your place," he told her.

"Did you get your stuff moved in?" she asked.

"Yeah, Delko just left. We got everything in the truck. The rest I just left in the apartment. You can look over the kitchen stuff. Too many decisions."

"Well, if your stuff is there then you can call it your place now," she said and he could hear the grin in her voice. "I'll go through the kitchen with you. You have some nice things. Are you all unpacked?"

"Are you kidding?" he asked sarcastically, which made her laugh. "But you now have a much better stereo system in place."

"Priorities, huh?"

"Absolutely. But not everything I need is here."

"Missing something?"

"Yeah. When are you coming home?" he asked in a low voice as he sank into the pillow. '_Home. Sounds nice. Calleigh and I have a home together.' "_I kinda miss you, you know."

He heard her deep sigh. "I miss you, too. How 'bout tomorrow? Will that be soon enough, cause I'm about done here visiting and I'd kind of like to welcome you properly. I should be home before 7:00 if the airport traffic's not too bad and my flight's not delayed."

"Sounds good. I'm interested in that welcome you have planned," he snickered. "I wish you had let me take you to the airport."

"You were working remember? And I seem to recall you were so busy, we barely got a chance to say goodbye before my flight left."

This time it was his turn to sigh. "Yeah, I remember."

"Think you'll be home tomorrow when I get there?"

"Yeah, I should get off at a reasonable hour." There was no question he would be home before she got there, he'd arrange for Delko to cover him if need be, but he didn't want her know what he had planned for her homecoming.

"I can't wait. Seems like I've been gone for a week."

"No kidding. I miss you. Oh, Delko's wrangling for an invite to dinner, just so you know."

She laughed, a sound that was always music to his ears. "Well, as long as it's not in the next couple of days, he can come to dinner. I'd kind of like you all to myself for a couple days at least. We have some catching up to do. He's had you the last few days."

"Think I can oblige you with that," he chuckled.

"We both have to get up early tomorrow, you have to work and I have a breakfast outing with my great Aunt May, so we should try to sleep."

"Yeah, okay," he said reluctantly. "Night Cal. Hope you have a good flight. I love you." Those three words rolled off his tongue pretty easily since his first time saying them at Alexx's party. Now he couldn't imagine a day going by and not telling her and usually several times at that. He'd said the words a few times in the past to other girlfriends and mostly meant them, but not the way he did with Calleigh. With Calleigh, there was just no question about the strength and depth of his feelings and nothing holding him back anymore. And, he had to admit, it was nice to hear them back.

"Night Tim, I love you, too. See you tomorrow."

Switching his phone off, he couldn't help but smile to himself. She would be home tomorrow and there would be no more sleeping alone.

_CITW CITW CITW_

The stereo was turned up as high as he thought he could get away with without disturbing the neighbors. She'd called him from the airport as soon as her plane landed and he knew she was finally on her way home. Three nights apart felt like an awfully long time and he hoped there would be no more separations for some time. Wandering through the apartment, he looked left and right to make sure there was nothing he'd forgotten to take care of in his haste to make dinner and tidy up before she got home.

Walking over to the sofa to straighten the pillows, he shook his head, realizing Delko was right last night. He was well trained, although maybe whipped was a better word for it, he thought, snickering to himself. No matter, he would fluff sofa pillows, empty trash cans and use coasters if it pleased her. He hadn't gotten around to the unpacking, but all the boxes were neatly piled and pushed against the wall, making them less in the way.

He flicked the lights on the Christmas tree still standing in the corner of the room and stood a moment admiring the sight and remembering the night he strung them. The two had stayed up late decorating the little tree once they arrived home from Alexx's party and then stayed up even later, discussing plans to move in together and making love. This first Christmas together would, for him, always be a milestone moment in their relationship.

The delicious aroma from the dinner warming in the oven wafted through the apartment. It was one of her favorites and always impressed her when he made it, even though it was a fairly simple dinner to prepare, but then any time he cooked she was impressed. His prowess in the kitchen had been a closely guarded secret, but once they began dating, he was eager to cook for her and it thrilled her when he did. Checking his watch for the umpteenth time, he figured she'd be home soon, giving him just enough time to get the salad ready and the table set.

"Not only does he cook, but he cuts a mighty fine figure while doing so," she drawled.

Busy getting the spinach salad ready and sipping on his wine, he never heard her come in. "Hey, how long have you been standing there? I didn't hear you come in," he said turning at the sound of her voice and quickly wiping his hands on the towel by his side.

"Not long, just enough to enjoy the view. I'm not surprised you didn't hear me, you've got the music turned up a bit," she said laughing as she walked to him.

"Sorry 'bout that. I wanted to be able to hear it no matter where I was in the apartment," he said, clasping her in his arms.

"Mmm, you smell good," she said, breathing in deeply as she buried herself in his embrace.

Laughing, he held her tighter. "I think that's the dinner you smell."

She shook her head. "No, it's you, but whatever you're cooking smells good, too. What is it?" she asked as he grazed her lips with his own.

"Veal Marsala, penne pasta and spinach salad. Dessert's a surprise," he said with a gleam in his eyes.

"My favorites. You're spoiling me, you know. The place looks cleaned up, you cooked and the table looks beautiful, with candles and everything," she said as she pointed out the beautifully set table, complete with a vase of lilies in the center. "And look, you even got flowers. They're beautiful, thank you," she said, lightly kissing him. Plus, you shaved," she said, stroking his cheek with her fingertips before following with her lips, as he leaned into her touch. "I should go away more often, if this is the welcome home I get."

"Nah. I'd rather you didn't go away for awhile. I missed you too much." His lips found hers and he kissed them softly, but it clearly wasn't enough for her as she parted her lips for him and deepened the kiss. Responding eagerly, he moved his mouth over hers, devouring her soft lips and exploring the depths of her sweet mouth with his tongue. She'd slipped her hands up under his button down and the feel of her fingers caressing his bare skin was sending shivers down his back. Pulling apart long enough to breathe, their lips connected again as he pulled her as tight against his body.

"I missed you. Take me to bed," she whispered against his lips. He shook his head and she looked at him wide eyed, causing him to chuckle at the sight of the surprise on her face.

"Nope. Dinner first, then bed," he said, gently caressing her lips with his.

"How about bed first, then dinner?" she suggested with a gleam in her eyes.

"Nope," he said, shaking his head once more. "Once I get you into bed I'm not likely to let you out for awhile, so you better eat while you have a chance," he said with a smirk.

Sighing deeply, she leaned into his chest and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Fine. Dinner first, but it better be good."

"It is," he said, moving his arms off her and reaching for the counter. Pouring her a glass of the red wine, he held it out to her and kissed the top of her head. "Here, this will cool you off. I'll get the food."

"Then bed?" she asked, her eyes pleading as she took the wine goblet he offered.

"Oh, yeah. You can count on it."

TBC


	7. Thinking Ahead

Changes in the Wind

Thinking Ahead

Standing out on the small balcony, Tim gripped the steaming mug with two hands hoping the heat would pass through his body and ward off the early morning February chill. If he leaned over the railing, craned his neck, peered off in the distance and squinted, he could make out a sliver of dark blue, enough blue for the realtor to legitimize calling this an 'ocean view' apartment. That the realtor got away with it ticked him off, that people like his girlfriend, bought such rose colored language, only demonstrated how badly people wanted to live by the water. For him, the beach was an alright place to visit occasionally, but living by the water held no appeal for him, not after he'd seen the damage that storm whipped water could wreak on man-made buildings and the people caught inside them up close. But for people living on the coast, the water held an almost mystical appeal and even Calleigh was caught in its grasp, at least enough to be willing to pay extra for the privilege of living a few miles from the beach.

He had to admit though, that since he and Calleigh had gotten together, he'd spent a lot more time at the beach, mostly walking along the shore hand in hand in the evening, under the light of the moon and it was pretty nice. Of course, any time spent with her, doing most anything was pretty nice. Considering how they jumped feet first into living together not long after they started dating, things were going surprisingly well. If he were being honest, he'd admit that he probably wasn't the easiest person to live with, but despite that, it was somehow working. They'd had very few squabbles, which taking into account the fact that they had fairly stressful jobs, long hours and saw each other at work every day, was pretty remarkable.

Working together allowed them to see the best and worst sides of themselves before they ever started dating, which undoubtedly helped speed along their relationship. They knew when to give the other space and when support was needed. Work, it seemed, both helped and hindered their relationship. It was still difficult for him when she took risks in the field, or refused assistance when he thought she needed it and he got rankled when she was on his back about his gun or his stubborn streak, but their arguments were usually minor and over quickly.

Learning to share the small space was the biggest adjustment the two faced thus far. What felt like a good sized apartment for one person, suddenly felt a bit cramped when housing two, each of whom possessed a small library of books. It was sometimes hard to be on top of each other, although, he chuckled to himself, most of the time that's exactly the way he liked it. However, the more stuff he brought over from his apartment, the more crowded her place got. Keeping in mind how neat and tidy she liked things compared to how disorderly he could often be and the potential for friction loomed large. Which was why he frequently found himself thinking about real estate these days, a subject he gave little thought to in the past. No longer could he imagine not living with her, but he wanted the best possible set up for them. Needing to empty out his apartment also weighed on his mind, since his lease ran out in a couple months and he had no idea what to do with everything. The idea of moving to a larger place was becoming much more desirable, it just wasn't anything he had mentioned yet.

Whatever initial qualms he had about living with someone hadn't materialized with Calleigh. His hesitancy had been tempered both by his growing feelings for her and the simple fact that he liked having her around, a huge admission for someone who always preferred to be alone. Not close to his parents or his younger brother, he didn't even have many friends. Now, he shared not only a bed, but also a closet and a bathroom with someone, the very thought of which still sometimes made his head spin. And, despite Delko's predictions, he'd managed to avoid being kicked to the couch. But this, this thought taking root in his head was a bit bigger than simply moving into her apartment, this was one that would require a serious commitment from both of them.

"Here's where you went off to. I was getting ready to leave and I couldn't find you anywhere," she said brightly as she joined him on the tiny porch.

Startled by the sound of her voice, he turned to face her, meeting her smile with one of his own. "Gee Cal, it's a little hard to lose someone in there. Usually we're tripping over each other."

"It's not that bad," she said laughing as she joined him at the railing. "Besides, I don't mind tripping on you."

"Good to know," he said, placing his now, cool mug of unfinished coffee on the small table that was flanked on either side by a pair of retro looking metal chairs painted a bright coral color.

"Aren't you freezing out here?" she asked rubbing her arms to ward off the chill despite the blazer she had on. "I can't believe how cold it is out here this morning and you don't even have a jacket on." He laughed and pulled her into his arms.

"I have a T-shirt on under this one," he said as he pulled down the collar of his dark blue button down to real the light blue T-shirt underneath. "Besides, it isn't really that cold. Honestly," he said, shaking his head and snickering at her. "You have no idea what real cold is. When the sun gets a bit higher it will warm up."

"And I don't intend to be standing out here waiting for that to happen," she said with a laugh as she sank deeper into his embrace. "So what are you doing out here this morning? Enjoying the view?"

"Yeah," he said attempting sincerity. "It's nice out here. I never had a little porch before. I like it." The view might not be the best, it was mostly buildings and streets, despite the ocean in the distance, but it was true, he did enjoy sitting out there, despite the chill in the air these February mornings and evenings.

"It's small, I know, but big enough for two people to enjoy. This balcony, plus the view, sold me on this place. I was so lucky to have found it and even luckier to have been able to afford it. I never want to leave here."

His eyes widened at that last comment, but she was enjoying her view and didn't catch the change in his expression. _Does she really mean that? _he wondered. "Really?"

"Mmm. I love this place." Checking her watch, she drew in a sharp breath and turned in his arms, wrapping her own around his waist. "It's probably time, don't you think?" she asked, before reaching up, meeting his lips and rapidly deepening the kiss, quickly sending him into mental calculations, trying to figure exactly how much time they had before they'd both be late for work. "I love you," she said, briefly pulling back before he closed the distance between them with his lips. "We gotta get going or we'll be late. See you later?"

"Yeah, I guess," he grumbled, still thinking about the kiss. "I love you, too. I'll see ya later." Perhaps she wasn't going to jump at the opportunity to purchase real estate with him, especially if it didn't come with an ocean view and required moving from this apartment, but at least she loved him. Sighing deeply, he grabbed his mug off the table and followed her in.

As was their habit, they drove separately to work, partly because he liked his bike and partly because they often finished for the day at different times. Occasionally they would ride together, especially if the weather was bad and she didn't want him on his bike. His own small car was often not in working condition, making him dependent on her for the time being, not that he minded.

Whatever it was he'd been worried about when he was reluctant to go public with their relationship hadn't come to fruition, because in the work environment, nothing much had changed from when they weren't dating or dating secretly. Seems she didn't want things to change between them at work after all, she just didn't want their relationship to be a secret. That and she didn't want Delko trying to fix him up anymore. They could let their guard down occasionally when they were alone, but both were extremely conscientious about maintaining a professional relationship. For Calleigh, he realized, this was of the utmost importance.

It was ironic really, for when no one knew they were together and he was distant to her at work, she was hurt, but distance was exactly what she wanted in their work relationship. Now that everyone knew they were together, all that really mattered to her was that the two of them knew they were together. They interacted so little at work, that colleagues who didn't know them well thought they had broken up, not that Tim minded, he was extremely grateful to no longer be the talk of the lab, but Calleigh's delight at that notion surprised him. His delight he expected, hers, he didn't. He shook his head, deciding to give up the hope of ever fully understanding the complicated workings of his girlfriend's mind. Although he had to admit, she was right about one important fact: the only two people who needed to be in their relationship were the two of them. And they were doing just fine.

Now if only he could stop worrying about her when she was out in the field. Not likely something he was ever going to have completely under control, although he was much better at hiding his discomfort. He had gotten so used to having her in his life, that the thought of losing her was one he couldn't quite comprehend. The one and only time she'd been shot, still weighed heavily on his mind

Wandering into the morgue that afternoon, he was surprised to find Calleigh standing by Alexx's side, having lost track of her during the hectic morning amidst the many call outs. They both turned and smiled at his appearance, earning a nod and half smile in return in return. "Hey Calleigh, Alexx. Is this my burn vic?"

"Baby does this look like your burn vic?" Alexx asked, pointing to the gunshot wound in the head of the victim lying on the table.

"Well, no," he said, his eyes darting around the room, taking in the number of bodies currently waiting for autopsy. "Geez, it looks like standing room only in here, you know, if they could actually stand."

"Don't laugh, it only encourages him, not that you'd know anything about that," Alexx said, shaking her head at Calleigh who was having a hard time swallowing her laugh. The medical examiner then turned her attention to her favorite trace expert. "Any more bodies today and they will be standing them up," she said, unable to hide her own smile. "I'm out of table space. Timmy you're just gonna have to wait a bit longer, but I'll get to him next. I'll page you when I'm ready."

"Okay," he said with a shrug. "Guess I'll join Delko back at the murder scene. Hopefully we won't find any more bodies. See ya."

"Lord, I hope not. Bye Baby," Alexx called to him before turning her attention back to the body on the table.

"Bye," Calleigh returned. "Hey Tim," she called to his back, causing him to turn. "Be careful."

He nodded and mindful that Alexx had already turned away, gave her a wink before heading back out. It was nice to know that he wasn't the only one who worried, he thought to himself.

_CTTW CTTW CTTW_

Draped across him on the couch, she was half sitting, half lying with her head against his chest, her left hand twined with his and his free hand rested on her chest, his fingers absently playing with the buttons on her blouse. Rain pelted the windows, much as it had all day, making him glad they were in for the night and snuggled together on the couch. The only light in the room came from the three fat pillar candles on the coffee table and the glow from the television. Yawning deeply, her chest heaved in a way that exposed a bit more cleavage and whatever interest he'd had in the movie they were watching quickly exited the room. The only thing on his mind now was the question of how quickly he could get the rest of her shirt unbuttoned with one hand. Finding easy success with the first one he attempted, he continued his journey down her shirt, when she suddenly bolted upright to a sitting position.

"Your mother called earlier," she announced out of the blue, quickly dampening his previous thoughts, not to mention the effect on his growing arousal. "You were out. I forgot to tell you, I'm sorry," she said sincerely.

"My mother? She called … here? Tonight? Why? My cell phone was on, wasn't it?" he stammered, as he retrieved the phone and checked it quickly. "What did she want?"

"Relax," she said, stroking his cheek, "she wasn't calling to say she was in the neighborhood, she just wanted to try out your new number. At least that's what she said." He groaned loudly, wishing he had never broken the news to his parents that he had moved in with his girlfriend-slash-coworker. "I take it you finally told them," she continued, unable to hide her grin.

"Yeah. I told them. I thought I told you that, sorry if I forgot," he said, sighing deeply. "I figured they ought to know where I was living, although I don't know why. I specifically told them to use my cell if they needed to reach me. Obviously she didn't," he said with exasperation. "So did she say what she wanted?"

"I think she was just interested in me."

That comment caused him to groan again and sink deeply into the couch. Almost as soon as he told them of his move, he regretted it. They'd been living together just over a month and his forays back to his old apartment were happening with less frequency, so he figured the time had come to update his parents. He'd only mentioned in passing that the two were dating and the news that he was moving in with Calleigh had sent his mother into some sort of parental overdrive. He wasn't used to his parents having much of an interest in his life or maybe it was that he was more comfortable keeping them at arm's distance, but for whatever reason, he'd felt the need to divulge this and now his mother was probably already naming future grandchildren that she previously thought he'd never give her. "Oh?" he asked, wary of what he might be told.

"It was harmless, not like an interrogation. Honest," she added after seeing his lines of worry deepen. "I answered her questions, told her a little about myself, how long we'd been together, that sort of thing. Really Tim, it was fine. She seemed very sweet."

"You don't know her as well as I do."

She laughed. "I think you're probably exaggerating, but I understand. People's families always seem fine to outsiders." He nodded his agreement. "I think she was just really surprised that you were serious about someone, enough to move in. Oh, and she did wonder when we might come to visit," she said as she sat back against his chest.

"You're kidding. Did you tell her never?"

"Of course not," she said, turning to meet his gaze. "She thought maybe you might want to bring me up north to see the snow and of course, meet them. But don't worry, I told her I didn't think we would be able to get time off till the summer," she said, sounding letdown. Moving to get a closer look at her, he pondered her apparent disappointment.

"Cal, you actually sound disappointed. I promise you, Syracuse in winter is not a vacation and my parents are not exactly a picnic."

"No. It's not that. Well, it is, I guess, maybe not about meeting your parents, although I do want to sometime. I am a little curious about where you came from. But, I do kind of think it would've been fun to go away with you some place where they have winter weather."

"Well, actually, I've been thinking about that, too," he began. This time it was her turn to face him looking bewildered. "Not visiting my parents, but a quick weekend out of town to give you a small taste of winter. I was thinking one of the northern beaches, somewhere in Maine or Cape Cod, maybe."

"You were? Since when?"

Shrugging, he continued, "I don't know, for a couple weeks I guess. I thought it might be nice to get away." She nodded. "I think we can both swing a three-day weekend sometime before winter wanes. If you're interested, that is. I wasn't presuming. I planned to ask you first. So, I'm asking."

"I would love to, I'd go anywhere with you," she said smiling widely. "But why the beach in winter, why not the mountains?"

"I know how you like the beach. I just thought it would be different to experience it in the winter. No crowds, no sun," he said, chuckling. "Then after walking along the water, warming up in front of a cozy fireplace might be nice," he continued before finding her lips and caressing them gently with his own. "Now where were we before you brought up my mother?" he asked as he moved his lips to her throat.

"I think you were trying to take off my shirt," she told him, giggling.

"That's right," he said, moving off her and meeting her gaze. "So why exactly was that a good time to bring up my mother?" he asked with a smirk, as he unbuttoned her blouse, this time using two hands.

"Well, she called after you left to get the pizza and I forgot to tell you when you got back," she said as she began to work on the buttons of his shirt. "And, if you remember, we were rather, uh, busy, when you got back and you kind of distracted me, like you're doing right now. I forgot all about the call till just now, when you started distracting me from the movie."

"I do remember," he said slipping her blouse off her shoulders and running his palms over her breasts, feeling her nipples harden through the lace of her bra. "I kinda like distracting you," he said as he reached behind for the clasp on her bra and brought his mouth down to her chest at the same time. Her only response was a soft moan, a signal to him that she liked being distracted and that it was definitely time to move this off of the couch and into the bedroom.

TBC


	8. Missteps

Changes in the Wind

Missteps

The more he thought about it, the more appealing the idea of a romantic weekend getaway became. He had to admit some hesitancy on his part, because he knew how risky vacationing together could be to a new relationship, but he was nonetheless willing to take that chance with Calleigh. They had already successfully navigated both working and living together; a simple weekend away would be a breeze. And there was no better way he could think of to celebrate both their uncomplicated transition from dating to sharing a home and Calleigh's upcoming birthday.

For some couples, going away together turned out to be equivalent to crossing a minefield, an unpleasant experience marked by glaring missteps and differences of opinions that could lead to an explosion or two. Maybe he was guilty of exaggerating, but in his one previous experience, that's exactly how it turned out. That mini vacation, a couple years back, with a woman he had been involved with for a few months, turned out to be a disaster. The complete opposite of either romantic or fun, the trip did nothing but highlight all of the differences between them and culminated with a parting of the ways upon their return. Thinking about that trip now made him shudder. In the end, he was glad that entanglement was history, but the memory of that experience stayed with him a long time. A weekend away with Calleigh, however, wouldn't be a repeat of that trip; his relationship with her was nothing like any of his previous relationships.

Despite his initial hesitancy and their sluggish start, the relationship was now effortlessly moving forward. That, in itself, said a lot, because for Tim, simply adjusting to being in a relationship had been a bigger feat for him than adapting to living together. He still sometimes marveled at the very notion that they were even together, let alone in the beginning stages of planning a life together, especially after he fought their involvement for as long as he did, but here they were, sharing a home.

Their physical setting wasn't perfect in his opinion, but the actual living and working together day in and day out, had been going even better than he imagined it would. And the physical setting was an obstacle easily remedied. Calleigh's apartment, though slightly larger and nicer than his, felt small and cramped for the two of them and all their stuff, making the idea of a bigger home very enticing. But in all honesty, he couldn't think of a time he had ever been happier. What better way then to thank her for sticking with him the way she had than a romantic getaway.

It was beginning to look like this plan he'd been cooking up would work out even on short notice. He and Calleigh didn't often have the same weekend off, but with Delko willing to swap weekends, plus pull an extra shift for him, it gave them both a three day weekend at the end of the month, much sooner than he'd originally hoped. That the weekend happened to fall so close to Calleigh's birthday was an added bonus.

His destination of choice was Cape Elizabeth, Maine, a place he'd never been, but looked promising in print. As far as locations went, it met all of his criteria: a Northeast beach community, close to an airport, with luxury accommodations, including room service and a fireplace. The final and most important criteria were that it be both, secluded in late February and afford the possibility of snowfall. Hotel reservations made, he'd also found available flights out of Miami that accommodated their schedules, although he hadn't yet booked them. All he had to do now was clear the schedule change with Horatio and of course, fill Calleigh in on his plan.

Originally, he planned to tell her at dinner, but since the opportunity to finalize the schedule had arisen, he figured it was best to tell her now instead of waiting. He couldn't help but smile when he wandered into the ballistics lab and found her engrossed in bullet comparisons. She was so intent on the screen in front of her that she never heard him come in, allowing him a moment to relish the sight of her. Even from the back, he was captivated by her, admiring the way her golden locks fanned out across her back, swaying ever so gently, with the slightest movement, like a curtain in the breeze. Lost in his thoughts as he stood watching silently from behind, he could almost feel those same silky golden strands gently tickling his skin as she moved atop him making love, when the sound of her voice jarred him out of his head and served as a reminder of why keeping his distance from her, while at work, was a good policy.

"I know you're back there," she said with a smile in her voice, leaving him to wonder if she knew where his head had just been.

"How'd you know it was me? Could've been anybody," he responded with a chuckle while walking closer.

"No one else usually stands there staring at me while I work," she explained and the slight pink cast to her cheeks along with the knowing smile on her lips told him she did indeed know where his mind was. "They usually let me know they're there and what they want."

"I was just admiring your fine form," he admitted with a smirk, looking all around and making certain no one was in hearing distance.

"Well thank you," she answered and blushed again, further darkening her cheeks. "And what can I do for you this morning?" she asked still smiling.

"Well, we are at work," he said teasingly.

"Glad you remembered."

"Actually, I just have a question for you."

"Shoot," she said with a grin.

He shook his head. "You just never tire of saying that any chance you get, do you?" he asked, gently ribbing her. "Anyway, I was wondering what you thought about heading to Maine with me for a weekend at the beach, hopefully in the snow."

"Well, I'd love to. I can't think of anything nicer," she drawled. "When did you have in mind?"

"The end of this month, right around your birthday. I spoke with Delko and he's willing to switch weekends with me, as well as take on an extra shift, leaving both you and I with three days off. I found flights and I reserved a room in a very nice place; one that I think you'll be quite pleased with. All I have to do is clear it with Horatio, purchase the tickets and…"

"Check with me," she finished for him in a clipped tone, her expression now serious.

"Well, yeah, that's what I'm doing now," he responded, looking wary.

"But you made all of these plans without first mentioning anything to me?"

"It was spur of the moment. I thought you'd be pleased and surprised. Although, it's not completely out of the blue, we did briefly talk about wanting to go away together."

"Well, you're right, we did, but I thought it was something that we would plan together."

"I guess I thought it would be nice to surprise you. I wanted to plan something special, both for us and for your birthday," he replied, bewildered by her reaction.

"It's sweet that you went to all this trouble and it is a nice idea, but I could've saved you the time if you had come to me first with your plan. It might be nice to know about these things in the first place," she reprimanded.

He studied her with a perplexed expression as she spoke, having no idea where she was going with this. "Then it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?" He knew he sounded like a sullen child, but he couldn't help himself, this was something he had been pretty excited about.

"Tim I can't go away with you at the end of the month. I'm speaking at a two-day conference in Atlanta, don't you remember? I know I told you about it," she said, sounding more businesslike than anything else and ignoring his previous comment.

"No, I don't remember, I think that it's likely something I would've remembered, since it involves you going out of town right around your birthday. But I don't remember this little detail, because you never mentioned it."

"It was kind of a last minute thing, but I'm sure I told you," she insisted, giving nothing away with her expression.

"I'm sure I wouldn't have gone to the trouble of planning this trip and coaxing Delko into working extra if you were going to," he paused, scrunching his brow while he thought and trying to keep the sarcasm to a minimum. "Wherever it is you're going, leaving me to go on a romantic weekend alone," he continued, shifting his weight and looking anywhere but at her.

"Obviously we've had a miscommunication," she offered tersely.

"Ya think?" he asked, unsuccessfully keeping the sarcasm out of his voice. "And since when are you speaking at that conference? That's not one any of us usually attend. It's not like it's a big name conference with well known lecturers," he commented, momentarily forgetting that she was one of the speakers.

"Since they asked me about a week ago," she responded defensively, "and I told them I'd be happy to lecture. Plus, I really like Atlanta, I have friends there," she quickly added, before dropping her eyes and allowing her voice to trail off at the end as if she wished she'd kept that to herself. His only response was to sigh heavily. "I'm sorry Tim, really I am. I'm sure it would've been nice. Maybe another time…"

"Whatever. It doesn't matter," he replied unconvincingly.

"It matters. I don't want this to come between us," she said softly, causing him to look up and meet her gaze.

"Me either. I'm sorry I didn't check with you first," he said, recognizing her sincerity and sighing once more. "I suppose there are worse places to spend the weekend than Atlanta."

"You're coming? To Atlanta?"" she asked, her eyes wide with surprise. "Why?"

"Well, I thought since I could still have the weekend off and it is your birthday," he responded, voice trailing as he gauged her reaction. "But I guess not, since you don't seem too thrilled with the idea." Looking anywhere but at her, he found himself intently studying the floor as he tried to wrap his head around this turn of events. Amazing, he thought, how a simple conversation could be so deflating.

"It's just that, I'm not sure you'll get anything out of it and it just seems like it would be better to save a long weekend for going somewhere other than Atlanta. It's not that I don't want you to come, I was just surprised you'd want to," she said, backpedaling.

"I don't know why you'd say that," he said, shaking his head and attempting to keep the emotion off his face. "I get the point, you don't have to paint a picture for me."

"Tim I'm not saying anything other than I was surprised you'd want to go to Atlanta. There's probably no lecture worth your time, that's all," she said, interrupting him. "Besides, I'll be home a couple days before my birthday, so we can still celebrate."

"Yeah, that's exactly why I was going, to listen to a lecture," he said sarcastically, shaking his head. "Look, I gotta get back to work and tell Delko he can go ahead and make plans for that weekend since I won't be spending it with you," he informed her without looking in her direction, as he started out of the lab. "Someone may as well have a nice weekend," he mumbled under his breath.

"Tim," she called to his back, but he continued on his way, pretending he didn't hear. There was nothing she could say that would make him feel better at that moment.

It wasn't that he tried to avoid her for the remainder of the day, more that he didn't go out of his way to seek her out and when he did see her, he pointedly avoided her eyes, uncertain if he was because he didn't want to see the disappointment in hers, or to prevent her from seeing it in his. Either way, a perfunctory nod of the head was all he had for her by way of a greeting when they passed in the hall. All afternoon he struggled to remember if she had indeed told him of the conference invitation and he simply forgot, or perhaps wasn't listening, but he just didn't think that was the case. It wouldn't have been like him to forget, though and he knew that.

Arriving home after lingering at work as long as he could and then running errands, he had finally reached the point where he simply wanted to put the incident behind them. Disappointment remained but no good would come from looking for trouble where none existed. A powerful aroma, one that instantly reminded him he hadn't eaten since morning, greeted him upon opening the door and led him to the kitchen where he found Calleigh putting the final touches on her specialty Cajun chicken and rice. The pair had decided once they began living together, that whoever was home first would start dinner and the other would clean up afterwards. His preference though, was when they got home around the same time and cooked together in the tiny kitchen. She turned at his approach and he could tell by her expression that she wasn't quite sure what to expect.

"Hey," he said, putting an arm around her waist and lightly kissing her cheek, before finding her lips. "I'm sorry about earlier." She kissed him back, though hesitantly at first, but she soon warmed up to him and it served to remind him that no matter how disappointed he was earlier, it couldn't last once he was home with her. He could only succumb to her, staying mad or disappointed, just wasn't an option.

"It's okay," she said smiling, "it was just a misunderstanding." she said, leaving it at that.

"No problem. Maybe we'll try for another weekend. Smells good. Need a hand?" he asked, looking at the array of pans, plates and utensils on the counter in front of them.

"I hope so," she said, before turning her attention back to the meal she was preparing. "You can set the table for me. This is just about ready."

Dinner was delicious and although the two talked, about the news, mutual friends and, of course, work, their conversation seemed stilted tonight. The subject of the Atlanta conference never came up, which Tim found a bit odd, since Calleigh was always excited about any chance she had to impart her love of firearms and ballistics on a captive audience, but he let it go. Both were probably still bruised from the awkward encounter they had at work earlier and there was no point making something of it. Instead, he found himself spending most of the meal focusing on the small, but tidy, cream colored kitchen, which barely contained enough room for the round table they were seated at, rather than the barely perceptible tension he was beginning to sense and worry about. After the meal, he took care of clean up, while she tended to some phone calls, before retiring to the small office they shared.

Sensing her presence in the doorway, he craned his neck to better see her. "What's up?" he asked, laying the marker and the newspaper he'd been looking at down on his desk.

"Nothing. Just trying to decide if I want to tackle anything in here or watch TV. You've been in here awhile, what are you up to?" she asked, moving in behind him and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Just looking at the paper," he said with a shrug.

"The real estate section?" she asked with confusion, picking up the paper for a closer look. "Why? You're not planning on moving are you?" she asked with a nervous laugh. "Tim, these are houses you've circled," she said, her voice now serious after studying the paper a moment. "You're looking at houses?" He glanced up, finding her standing stiffly and staring at him with an intense gaze as if she expected to find the answer to her question in his expression.

"Just seeing what's available and doing some comparisons," he said, feeling decidedly uncomfortable and dropping his eyes from her intent gaze.

"Because you're thinking of buying a house?" she questioned, her voice having gone up an octave.

"It's just one option," he answered defensively, yet unsure why, as he squirmed in his chair.

"So you are thinking of moving? You're not happy here?" she asked accusingly and even though he wasn't looking directly at her he could still feel her eyes boring into his, making him feel twitchy.

"It's not that I'm not happy here, more like it's just a little crowded, I wondered what other options there were. I still have to empty out my apartment, remember," he said shifting in his chair and finally meeting her gaze.

"I see," she answered tersely, her mouth set in a tight line.

"Well, it's not like I was going to move without you," he said, chuckling, hoping it would lessen the tension that suddenly flooded the room.

"So we're going to buy a house together just like that?" she said, snapping her fingers. "Nice of you to ask me my opinion. How long have you been thinking about this?"

"Not that long," he answered sheepishly. "It's not like I planned to have us go out tomorrow and buy a house. It was just a thought, nothing more," he said wondering again why he felt so defensive when he hadn't really done anything. Or maybe it wasn't what he had or hadn't done, but more what he had assumed and shouldn't have. That wasn't a particularly pleasant thought.

"Were you ever planning to discuss this idea with me? What makes you think I'm interested in moving or buying a house?" she asked pointedly. Well that question was telling, he realized, all that was missing was a 'with you' tacked to the end of it.

"Obviously I would've discussed it with you and I would've asked if you were interested in moving… with me," he said emphasizing the two words she had left off. "But now there's really no point is there?" he asked, not bothering to hide his sarcasm. Taking the paper she still held from her hand, he tossed it back on the desk and moved to the doorway, leaving her still stiffly standing in place. "And to answer your question, I don't know why I thought you might be interested." _Obviously a wrong assumption on my part._

She came up behind him and placed her hand on his arm. "It's a big step Tim. I'd like to think it was something we'd talk about. I'm surprised is all."

"Don't you think I realize that? All I did was look at listings in the paper, not just for houses, but apartments as well. I didn't hire a real estate agent behind your back," he said, sighing deeply, feeling the day's frustration hit him.

"It just seems soon to be thinking about buying a house," she said softly. "It's a big commitment."

"Yeah, I know. Look, just forget I brought it up, okay? I'm tired, it's late, I'm gonna turn in."

"Me too. C'mon," she said, taking his hand and leading him towards the bedroom. "We can still talk about it, if you want," she offered, although to his ears right now, it sounded forced.

He drew in a breath and exhaled loudly before answering. "No, I don't." Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he leaned down to remove his boots, feeling the bed shift as she sat down beside him. There was nothing he wanted to talk about because he really didn't want to delve too deeply into what was going on in her head, too afraid he was of what he might discover. It had already been an enlightening day. She clearly didn't want him planning weekends without her knowledge, accompanying her to Atlanta or making real estate assumptions about their future. Was it because she didn't like relinquishing control, especially when it concerned her, or did she regret having him move in? Or maybe, was it because she was having second thoughts about him? That was a troubling question he wasn't sure he wanted answered. There was just too much chaotic noise going on in his head. "What?' he asked, feeling agitated, sensing that she was waiting for something.

"I know it's a bit crowded, but I didn't think you were unhappy here."

"Cal I'm not unhappy here. I was just thinking about a place with more space. That's all it was. I'm sorry I made you uncomfortable." She smiled weakly.

"I like us living together, but in some ways, I guess I'm still getting used to it. I wasn't thinking about moving at all and that you might be, kind of took me by surprise."

"Yeah, I kinda got that."

"If we're meant to move, then I just imagined we'd figure that out together." He nodded. "I love you, I certainly don't want you moving out. But we're still new at this, it takes time." Somehow, it was hard to hear those words, even though he knew they were true, but the simple fact remained that if they were still getting used to this arrangement, then they could still go far in screwing it up. Even an established relationship could get royally screwed up, but one with a solid base, might just survive, where a fledgling relationship might not be so lucky. He preferred it when he allowed himself to think they were doing better than maybe they were.

"Yeah, I know," he said taking a deep breath. He leaned in, resting his forehead against hers. "I love you, too. We're both tired and it's been a long day. We can just leave it at that." Tomorrow was bound to be another busy day the way this week was shaping up and he just wanted things to be okay between them, even if in reality, he couldn't shake the feeling that they still felt a bit off.

TBC


	9. Miscues

Changes in the Wind

Miscues

"So basically we just wasted an entire day, have absolutely no suspect and practically have to start over from the beginning," Eric half grumbled, half moaned in frustration as he rested his head on the table in the interrogation room.

"Well, I wouldn't call it a complete waste," Tim offered, trying to lighten the mood, although it wasn't an easy proposition since he was feeling the same frustration as his coworker. This day was turning out to be a disaster. They'd examined all the evidence they had on their case and thought, really thought, that the suspect they'd spent the last three hours with was exactly who they wanted in a double homicide. All the loose ends seems to be tying themselves up in a neat little bow, which in itself should've been a big tip off for Tim, since he didn't believe much in life came neatly wrapped in a ribbon. The hours spent in interrogation, plus following up on another lead, checking the evidence again and further questioning of the suspect, led them to a far different conclusion. This new one meant they'd be starting over at square one, hence the wasted day in Eric's eyes and his too, if he were being honest.

"Oh? And why is that?" Eric asked with interest, picking his head up and leaning back in his chair.

"We ruled this guy out as a suspect so we won't have to waste any more time on him. That's something," Tim said in mock seriousness, earning a laugh from his friend.

"You know having Calleigh for a girlfriend has had a positive effect on your personality. Now you're always able to see the bright side and point it out for those of us less fortunate. I'll have to thank her next time I see her," Eric said, still laughing.

"You do that. She'll be happy to hear her hard work on me is paying off," he answered smugly.

"Well, I'm glad your good humor is intact because we may be relying on it when we're stuck here tonight trying to make sense of this disaster of a case. Tonight, of all nights, what luck," Eric said in disgust, shaking his head.

"Why, what's so special about tonight?" Tim asked, his confusion evident in his eyes and furrowed brow.

"You're kidding, right? I mean it's not possible that you don't know what today is, is it? And you, who has a live in girlfriend, who you better hope is in a forgiving mood, that's all I can say," Eric chided with a smirk.

"Well are you going to tell me or keep talking nonsense?" Tim asked with growing frustration as he tried to wrack his brain for clues.

"Today's Valentine's Day, have you heard of it?"

"Oh that," he said dismissively and began jotting down some notes for the pile of paperwork on this case that would soon be growing even larger. "I thought maybe it was some anniversary or something that I was supposed to have remembered and forgot," he replied looking up. "And I actually know when that is, which is kind of a scary thought in itself," Tim said, mainly to himself and quirking a brow questionably, before returning to his note taking.

"So you don't care that today is Valentine's Day? You didn't get Calleigh flowers, chocolate, lingerie? Okay, wait. Don't answer that last one. That, I really don't want to know. Somehow the image of you buying lingerie is just not one I want to have burned into my brain."

"Delko, you about done?" Tim asked with irritation. "Cause we gotta figure out our next move."

"Seriously, not even a card? Come on, you can't be that much of a dumbass that you would forget your girlfriend on Valentine's Day, can you?" Eric asked, unable to mask the combination of humor and disbelief on his face.

"Is this something we really need to be discussing? I never thought about it to be honest with you. It's not like it's her birthday or something important. It's a made up day. It's not a big deal," he answered, unable to stop the tiny doubt beginning to form in the back of his mind. He'd never really gotten the point of Valentine's Day; it seemed unnecessary in his mind. Besides they'd be celebrating her birthday in a couple weeks and that was far more important than Valentine's Day.

"Yeah, but it's a made up holiday that girls happen to be big on. And Calleigh is a girl, even though she has a thing for firearms and has a better shot than most of the guys I know," Eric pointed out in complete seriousness.

"Yes Delko, I am well aware of that fact."

"So are you saying you really have no special plans tonight?"

"Nothing that I'm aware of. I'm sure if Calleigh wanted to do something she would've mentioned it," Tim replied with an exasperated sigh. Eric snorted at his response. "Are you implying that you do have plans tonight?" he continued ignoring Eric's laughter.

"Hell yeah," Eric responded without hesitation. "And so should you. You know you still have a lot to learn about women, or at least about the one you're living with," he chastised.

"Let me guess, that girl your sister set you up with? What was her name, Annabelle or something?" Tim asked, hoping to deflect the attention off him.

"God no," Eric sputtered with a wide-eyed stricken look, causing Tim to laugh at his dramatic reaction. "Never is as soon as I'd like to see her again."

"C'mon, it couldn't have been that bad, it's not like your sister doesn't know you or know the kind of women you favor," Tim remarked, laughing, grateful to be discussing Delko's love life rather than his own.

"That bad is an understatement. One date and she was practically writing her name with mine and having towels monogrammed," Eric complained with flair.

"Now I know you're exaggerating," Tim replied, wondering just what it would take for Eric to settle down with one girl. This time it was his turn to shake his head as he realized the likelihood of that day ever arriving.

"Seriously, that girl was intense." Eric shuddered as if exorcising the memory. "But tonight I have a date with a girl I met a couple weeks ago, someone I really like, someone who's not rushing to pick out invitations. That is, I had a date till our suspect turned out not to be," he said with disappointment.

"Look, we both don't have to stay. You can still go out, I can handle things here," Tim offered.

"Thanks, but I can't do that to you on Valentine's Day, Calleigh will be furious with both of us, but especially you. Then you'll be in a foul mood for days, Calleigh will be back to glaring at me, while pretending she's not pissed, Horatio will know something's up and naturally assume I'm to blame and coming to work will suck. But thanks anyway."

"Funny. You're really very funny," Tim said dryly. "Do you want to go out tonight or not?" he asked, despite a lingering doubt in his mind about whether it was the right thing to do without checking first with Calleigh. But seeing the relief on his buddy's face, when he realized the offer was sincere, made the doubt disappear. This wasn't something Tim minded doing, after all, he knew Delko would do the same for him and had jumped at the opportunity to switch weekends for him, so that he and Calleigh could go away together. It was the right thing to do and Calleigh would understand.

"You sure you don't want to check with her first?" Eric asked, to which Tim shook his head. "Thanks buddy. I owe you. Anytime I can do the same," he responded as he got up and clasped Tim's shoulder at the same time their pagers sounded.

Tim looked down at the screen and groaned, before taking in a deep audible breath. "No problem," he said without looking up. "You better get going if you ever want to get out of here. Looks like Tripp's got a live one for us. Hey," he said turning to face his friend, " have fun tonight. Stay out of trouble."

"Thanks, I intend to, have fun, that is. I don't know about the trouble part," Eric said with a laugh. "And you, make sure you call her. There's still time to stop somewhere and pick her up something nice. She deserves it for putting up with you," he continued as Tim waved him off with his hand. "See ya. Call me if you need to, but please don't." With that he was gone, leaving Tim with two questions: would the next few hours break this case or leave them further in the dark and should he have done something for Valentine's day? And above all, he needed to remember to call Calleigh. He should let her know he'd be late; probably very late the way this day was shaping up.

It was close to midnight and he was whipped when he finally emerged from that small room he felt like he had spent his entire day in. He was ready himself to confess to something, just to get the hell out of there. Fortunately though, they got exactly what and whom they needed this time, saving him from having to go through this again, at least for this particular case. Tomorrow would be more of the same, just different. He shook his head wondering if his own thoughts even made sense any more. Scrubbing his face with his hands, he slumped against the wall as he tried to decide how much paperwork needed to be dealt with now and how much he could safely put off till morning. All he really wanted was to crawl into bed for a few hours. It was getting harder and harder to keep his eyes open, despite all the caffeine he'd consumed in one form or another.

"Shit," he said aloud to no one, as he stood upright and slammed the folder he was carrying against his thigh. Calleigh. He never called Calleigh back and worse, he'd completely forgotten she'd ever called in the first place. Feeling a lot more wide awake now than he did a few minutes ago, he remembered the terse conversation he'd had with her just before he headed back into the interrogation room with likely suspect #2. In a foul mood, he'd done no more than tell her he'd call her back before hanging up. Not only did he never call back, he never thought to let her know he'd be late. He'd become completely consumed with this case, sending everything else to the back burner, including his girlfriend.

"Shit," he said again, clenching his jaw tightly. Grabbing his phone, he started to dial home, before checking his watch and thinking better of that idea. It was late and she was probably already asleep since she had first call out in the morning. Besides, what good would it do to call her now? He'd already blown it. Still staring at the phone in his hand, he wondered if he ought to retrieve his messages, but decided against it. One was from Delko, he saw as he shifted his weight from one foot to the next and with his luck it was probably to remind him to call Calleigh, he thought with a sarcastic chuckle. The other was from Calleigh, who apparently had tried reaching him a second time. He wished now he had taken the calls when they came in, but at the time, he hadn't deemed them important enough to interrupt the interrogation. Heaving a heavy sigh, he decided to file his report and get the hell out of there. She'd be annoyed for sure, but hopefully nothing more than that.

The house was dark, save for a small table lamp in the living room and the light over the stove that he could see coming from the kitchen. As expected, Calleigh was nowhere to be found and was probably asleep, which was a relief, since he didn't want to get into anything with her tonight. He'd just have to explain in the morning that he'd gotten wrapped up in his case and hadn't gotten a chance to call. Quietly, he made his way to the lamp to switch it off. A vase filled with fragrant, pale peach roses next to the lamp caught his attention and made him stop short. They weren't from him; he knew that, causing him to wonder just where they had come from.

Squinting in the dim light, he searched for a card, but saw none, leaving the identity of the sender a mystery. Her father, he wondered? Were these flowers a next day apology for hauling him out of some bar? He hated the fact that Calleigh was stuck constantly cleaning up her father's messes, but it was a sore subject for her and one he didn't push, yet. Gritting his teeth just thinking about it, he wasn't sure what pissed him off more, that she'd had to rescue her father once again, or that she hadn't told him about it, before he remembered that Duke's apology flowers of choice were tulips, always tulips. It was amazing how the roses stirred up a feeling of jealousy in him, one that he hadn't felt in a few months. There was nothing like ending a particularly shitty day with that punched in the gut feeling, he thought sarcastically. But what was he getting bent out of shape for? They were just flowers. Calleigh loved flowers, she probably bought them herself, he considered as he flicked off the lamp, probably because her lousy boyfriend never remembered to anymore.

The realization hit him the moment his eyes swept over the dimly lit kitchen and his nose was assaulted by an array of fragrances. Today had been Valentine's Day and judging from the looks of things here in the kitchen, Calleigh had had every intention of celebrating this 'made-up holiday' with him. Not only did she plan on celebrating, but it also appeared that she had gone to a good bit of trouble. The scent of rosemary was very strong as he waked closer to the stove and he knew that meant one thing, she had made his favorite meal: baked chicken, flavored with rosemary and, he was almost certain, there was homemade macaroni and cheese to go with it. The powerful aroma made his mouth water, reminding him his own meal had been a vending machine tuna sandwich and a lousy one at that.

Walking to the fridge, he opened the door, finding a wrapped plate of food thoughtfully left for him and as he expected, it included homemade macaroni and cheese. For a moment, he thought about picking at it, but decided against it and closed the door at the same time his stomach began rumbling. A chocolate cake on the counter further tested his willpower and he almost gave in after a closer look made his mouth water, but guilt prevented him from partaking in something he didn't feel worthy of.

She had indeed made his favorite meal, right down to the chocolate cake with the dark chocolate frosting, decorated with candy hearts and he could not have felt worse at that moment if he had tried. Except that he could feel worse, and indeed he did, the minute he turned to look at the still set kitchen table. Wandering over, he pulled out the chair and slumped in it with a heavy, remorse filled sigh. A vase containing even more pale peach roses centered the linen cloth covered table, flanked by twin candlesticks, the candles having burned down to small stubs. All this trouble she had gone to, just for him. Roughly he raked his hands through his hair as he berated himself for never thinking to send her flowers today or doing anything at all. How could he have totally ignored the day, no matter how stupid he thought it was? She bought her own flowers, how sad was that? He didn't think it could get worse, but it did as soon as his eyes took in the card and beautifully wrapped gift that lay on the edge of the table.

"Shit," he said softly and heaved another heavy sigh. He had truly blown it and of all people, Delko had been right on the mark when he said Tim didn't know much about women, especially his own girlfriend. For several long moments he just sat and stared at the tableau, wondering what he could do to make up for completely screwing up Valentine's Day, especially since his plans for a romantic weekend no longer existed. At least in a couple weeks his gift for her birthday would be ready, there was at least that to look forward to, not that that would help right now, he thought as he slumped further in his chair and felt the fatigue overtake him. Focused on celebrating their relationship and her upcoming birthday, he'd chosen to overlook Valentine's Day, but perhaps when she saw the birthday gift he'd picked, she'd see he wasn't a complete loser in the romance department. Briefly, he wondered why she hadn't said anything to him, but remembered that the morning had been a bit chaotic with his early call out and the two had scarcely seen each other after that.

Getting up slowly, he wondered, would it be better to get this over with tonight or wait till morning? Hitting the bathroom first, he quickly and quietly got ready for bed and even more quietly, slipped into the warm bed. She was asleep on her side facing him and there was enough light streaming in the window from the moon, that he was able to see her features clearly. As usual, the sight of her took his breath away and he knew in that moment that he loved her more than he thought he'd ever be capable of loving anyone.

In sleep, at least, she didn't look angry and he was grateful for that. Of course, as he well knew, looks could be deceiving. He couldn't resist pushing a fallen lock of hair off her cheek and letting his fingers gently caress the impossibly soft skin of her cheek. Her sleepy eyes fluttered open in response to his touch. Without thinking, he pulled his hand away quickly, as if he had no right to be touching her.

"Tim," she said in a sleepy voice. He waited, but she said no more, instead waited for him to say something. Her expression gave nothing away, except the fact that she had just woken.

"Hey," he said, "sorry I woke you."

"S'okay," she returned softly.

"Calleigh," he began, dropping his gaze, "I'm really sorry about tonight. I should've called you back. I should've let you know how late I was gonna be. I just let the time get away from me," he said, voice trailing.

"It might have been nice to know you weren't going to be here for dinner. You could've mentioned it," she said passively and he wasn't sure if it was because she was half asleep or because she wasn't going to let him know how she really felt. He looked up and met her now more awake gaze, but her expression still gave nothing away.

"Yeah, about the dinner," he started before she interrupted.

"I left you a plate, if you're hungry you can just warm it up or have it tomorrow, if you'd prefer," she said, dropping her eyes and shifting in the bed, keeping a small amount of space between them which was as telling as anything she might or might not say.

"Thank you. It looked and smelled delicious. You made all my favorite things," he said, remembering the container of baby carrots, probably flavored with Maple syrup that he saw in the fridge. "I'll have it tomorrow, I'm really not hungry now, it's kind of late, but thanks for going to the trouble," he said, stalling.

"It's late. We should get some sleep," she said drowsily, from her prone position.

For a moment, he considered taking the out and maybe then they wouldn't have to discuss this at all, especially since she was most likely going to pretend that she wasn't bothered or upset, but that wasn't how he wanted things to work between them. Calleigh had perfected the art of pretense when it came to revealing her feelings and he felt she was probably pretending now. Fueled by growing up in the family that she did, it had become second nature to her, but he wished she didn't have to hide her feelings from him. She turned to face him then, began to lean in as if to offer a perfunctory goodnight kiss, but he placed his hand on her shoulder to stop her, then traced it down her arm, coming to rest by her elbow.

"Wait. Cal, about tonight, I really screwed this up. It was Valentine's Day and I completely ignored it. You went to all this trouble for me," he paused, sighing deeply before continuing, "and I did nothing. I don't know what I can say except, I'm sorry Calleigh, really sorry. I didn't know you were planning anything. Well, I should've known, I mean I look at the calendar, but I guess I just wasn't thinking about the day in relation to us," he stammered, hoping she would know how sincere he was.

"It's fine Tim. It was just dinner. No big deal. Just maybe call next time and I won't wait on you," she said keeping the emotion out of her voice.

"Calleigh don't do this," he pleaded.

"Do what?" she asked sounding perturbed, which was an improvement over expressionless.

"Pretend you're not mad at me. Pretend you're not disappointed, that I didn't disappoint you," he challenged and felt her body stiffen.

"I was disappointed. I made a nice dinner. It's over. It's not that big a deal. Now I'm tired. We're both tired, why don't we just go to sleep? I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're worried about," she returned, keeping any further emotion out of her voice.

"I'm still sorry. You deserved a nicer Valentine's Day, certainly better than the one I gave you, which was nothing," he said, taking in a deep breath, feeling the knot twisting in his stomach, as he considered coming clean with her. "It's not a day I've ever really, you know, made any kind of deal about," he said haltingly, having decided to tell her the truth. "Not that that's an excuse, but honestly there's never been anyone to share it with and it's just not something I was used to thinking about. So I kind of blew it off and you deserved so much more than that," he said, wondering what the hell was wrong with him that he could screw things up so easily and end up hurting the one person he never wanted to hurt.

"Really? Never? Not even when you were a kid? You've never celebrated Valentine's Day with someone special?" she asked with disbelief in her voice. Their eyes met and his relief was palpable when he saw nothing but warmth there.

"Nope. Never. Pretty pathetic, don't you think?" he asked with a self depreciating tone and earning a soft laugh from her.

"Maybe just a little," she answered with a grin.

"I'm sure, though that you have had some memorable Valentine's Days," he hinted as he studied her face. If he weren't somewhat prone to bouts of paranoia, he would've sworn her eyes took on a glazed far-away, wistful look as she perhaps relived a past Valentine's Day memory.

"Yeah, I've had some nice ones," she said with a smile, but volunteered nothing else, leaving him wondering who she celebrated these memorable Valentine's Days with, as that punched in the gut feeling briefly resurfaced. "It's okay Tim. Don't worry about it, really," she implored, seemingly recognizing the stricken look he had tried to keep off his face. "We can have a nice evening tomorrow. It'll be leftovers, but there is a nice bottle of wine to go with them," she offered brightly.

"I love you, Cal. I'm so sorry I disappointed you," he said in an emotionally laden voice, wondering as he usually did on a daily basis, why exactly she put up with him.

"I know. I love you, too," she said, moving closer to him for the first time since he climbed into the bed and wrapping her arms around him. "Now we need to get some sleep."

"Yeah, sleep," he retuned, feeling suddenly exhausted. Pulling her closer, he found her lips and kissed her softly, grateful to feel the heat in her response. She was right, though, it was late and they both had to be up early, so Valentine's Day would have to end with simply a kiss. But at least she was back in his arms. He hadn't completely blown it, that had to count.

TBC


	10. Gashes

Changes in the Wind

Gashes Chapter 10

"Hey Cal, where's today's mail?" Tim asked off handedly as he wandered into the kitchen and sidled up behind her at the sink.

Visibly startled at the sound of his voice, she quickly jerked herself around to face him, at the same time dropping the wine glass she had been rinsing into the sink. The sound of broken glass punctuated the moment, causing her to startle once more. She drew in a sharp breath before speaking. "Tim why do you do that?" she asked, her eyes widened in surprise. "Look what you made me do," she accused before glancing back into the sink.

"I didn't do anything except walk into the room and ask you a question," he answered innocently. "What's got you so jumpy?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow at her questioningly. "All night you've been like this, distracted and antsy." Concerned now, he couldn't help but notice how pale she looked. "What's wrong?" he asked softly, reaching out for her.

"Nothing is wrong," she answered tersely. "You don't have to keep asking. I just didn't hear you come in. I guess I was preoccupied," she said, ignoring his attempt to put an arm around her, instead turning her attention back to the broken goblet in the sink.

"Be careful grabbing … that," he said at the same time she winced and drew back her hand. "Here, let me look," he said, seeing the bloody finger.

"It's fine, just get me a towel please," she said, cradling one hand in the other. Grabbing the towel he offered, she efficiently wrapped it around her bleeding forefinger.

"Let me look, we need to make sure you don't need stitches."

"I don't need stitches, it's not bleeding that much. I don't think it's very deep. I just need a bandage. I can take care of it," she said sharply and headed down the hall for the bathroom.

Carefully removing the broken glass from the sink, he deposited it in the trash before wandering into the bathroom, where he found her struggling to open the bandage with her teeth. He couldn't hide his smile at her stubborn streak as he grabbed it out of her mouth. "You don't have to do everything yourself, you know. I won't think any less of you if you ask me to help open your bandage," he said, trying to lighten her mood. Gently he placed the bandage on her finger after first inspecting the cut, then raised the newly dressed finger to his lips for a kiss. "Might keep you out of the firing range for a day, but I think you'll recover."

"Thanks," she said, smiling weakly. "Did you get all the glass?" He nodded. "I really loved that set, now it's incomplete," she announced sadly.

"I'll get you a new one, I promise and I'll wear a bell so you can hear me coming and we won't have any more wine glass incidents," he said, pulling her close and dropping a kiss on her head. "You sure you're okay?" he asked again.

The flash of smile she gave him seemed genuine, but he was still troubled by her out of sorts mood. The day following the Valentine's Day disappointment, he had pulled out all the stops in his attempt to rectify his neglect and she had forgiven him wholeheartedly. Flowers, candy, and scented candles were nice touch, but it was the unexpected evening of pampering that won her over. They had since settled back into their easy compatibility, leaving nothing to suggest her mood had anything to do with their relationship. It had to be work related, he decided, but having spent almost the entire day in the field, he was unaware of what might have gone on that would be distressing her tonight. Whatever it was, she wasn't liable to tell him till she was good and ready, if even then.

"I'm fine," she said, moving away. "What was it you were looking for anyway?" she asked, changing the subject.

"The mail."

"It's where it always is. Did you even look?" she asked distractedly.

"Yeah Cal, I did. Which is why I asked you, cause you brought it in, but it's not on the desk where it usually is."

"Are you sure?" she asked before heading to the small spare room that served as their shared office. "That's odd," she remarked, looking perplexed, as she examined her neat desk and found no sign of the day's mail. "And it's not on your desk?" she asked, casting a glance at the chaos on his desk. He shook his head. "But how would you even know?" she questioned with a half smile.

"Trust me, I'd know. It only looks disorganized," he said, glancing at the various piles of journals, memos, bills, papers and photographs that seemed to be slipping into each other and spilling over the edges of the desk.

"Where'd I put it then? I know I brought it in," she said to herself as she wandered to the bedroom. "Here it is," she called after finding it on the bed. "I must have dropped it here when I came in to change," she explained, handing it off to him.

"Thanks, next time I'll look for it in the bedroom," he said, smirking. "You want me to help you finish whatever you were doing in the kitchen?"

"No thanks. I think I'm done. I'm tired. I'm just going to get ready for bed. It's been a long day," she said. Studying her through concerned eyes, he thought she looked more than tired; she looked downright droopy, with slumped shoulders and stray hairs falling in her face. The urge to embrace her was strong, but it seemed this was one of those times it might be best to take his cues from her and for now, just let her be.

"I'll be right behind you. I just need to take care of a couple things. I'll leave this on your desk," he said, waving the mail, "unless you want it with you in bed?"

"Cute," she said, giving him a genuine smile. "But no, the desk is fine. Thanks."

He watched her for a moment, then headed to the office, separating his mail from hers on the way. Checking his watch, he was surprised by the early hour she was turning in, but figured it wouldn't hurt to get a good night's sleep. Before turning out the office light, he opened his desk drawer and stuck his hand into the way back, till he landed on the long narrow gift box he picked up just today from the jeweler. Reassured it was safely tucked away, he shut the drawer and flicked off the light. Smiling to himself, he wished he didn't have to wait to her birthday to give it to her. Quite pleased with his selection, he was eager to see her reaction.

Inside the box was a gold charm bracelet. Each charm was chosen with care and had special significance: the first was a tiny golden gun, both because of the field they worked in and her love of firearms; next came a shell, to remember that first night on the beach; a tiny Christmas tree, to serve as a reminder of the night it finally came together for them; a small key, because they were now sharing a home; a snowflake, which would've represented the trip to Maine he originally planned; and finally, a heart with a diamond set in the center and Love, Tim engraved on the back. He hoped she liked it, he didn't know much about jewelry and wasn't sure charm bracelets were worn anymore, but the saleswoman had assured him they never went out of style. It just seemed like something Calleigh would like. He remembered his grandmother had had one, which she gave to his mother before she passed away. Maybe this was something Calleigh would pass on someday. With that thought in mind, he still had a smile on his face when he joined her in the bedroom.

She was lying on her side facing the wall with the covers pulled to just below her chin, but was still awake. Sliding under the covers after he readied himself for bed, he scooted next to her, draping one arm across her on top of the blanket and the other above her pillow. Wordlessly she turned in his arms and leaned in close, reaching for his lips with hers. Clasping her body against his, he was surprised by how tense she felt in his arms, a definite contrast to how passionately she was kissing him. The sound of his ringing cell phone startled her and he felt her body tense even more. Instinctively he drew his arms tighter around her before reaching for his phone from the nightstand. "Relax Cal," he said softly. "It's just my phone. It's probably Horatio returning a message I left for him earlier." She rolled away from him while he took the call.

With his brief conversation concluded, he turned back on his side and reached for her. "Cal, what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, the phone just surprised me, that's all," she said, still on her side, facing away from him.

"If nothing's wrong, then why are you wound tighter than a yo-yo?"

"A yo-yo?" she asked, turning to face him and attempting a smile.

"It was all I could come up with, but you know what I mean. I can feel the tension in your shoulders," he said as he stroked her back between her shoulder blades.

"It's nothing Tim. I'm just tired. It was a busy day."

"I know how you are tired and this isn't it. Did something happen at work today?" He felt her sharp intake of breath before she tried to change the subject again.

"Could we just not talk about this?" she asked with downcast eyes. He shook his head as he caressed her cheek.

"Cal, whatever it is, you can tell me."

"I know that. It's really nothing Tim. I don't want you overreacting." His eyebrow rose alarmingly at that comment, making him absolutely certain he did want to know what was going on. She sighed deeply and he imagined her wrestling with the decision of whether or not to let him in. "Frank brought in a good suspect for the triple homicide we've been working." He nodded for her to go on. "He looks good on paper and we can tie him to two of the victims, but we've got no weapon to put in his hand and he has an alibi, albeit a shaky one, but so far it's holding up. So, basically we didn't have enough to hold him and we ended up cutting him loose."

"You're sure he's not your guy?"

"Well, that's just it, I'm not convinced he's not, but I can't prove he is." Closing the space between them, she rested her head on his chest, her favorite position and twined her arms around him.

"So what happened?"

"Well," she paused, "Frank left first and the officer in the room was escorting the suspect out and he," she hesitated again, "well, he threatened me."

"What do you mean he threatened you?" he asked, feeling his heart rate increase. "What exactly did he say?"

"You know Tim, what they always say. It happens. We all get threats. I wasn't overly concerned," she said, attempting to downplay the incident, but he felt her tense again.

"What did he say when he threatened you? And did you tell Frank or Horatio or anyone?" he asked, unable to hide his concern.

"Just something about needing a closed casket when he finished with me or something like that. He was just spewing off at the mouth, mumbling under his breath, really. It wasn't like an out and out threat, that's why I didn't take him too seriously," she continued from her position against him.

"That doesn't sound like nothing to me. Why didn't you have him held after that?" he asked, attempting to keep the anger out of his voice.

"Because I still think he's a good suspect, we just need a little more evidence, that or wait till he trips himself up," she said, turning now so that she faced him and met his gaze.

Holding her eyes in his, he could tell she was holding something back. He also knew her well enough to know an idle threat wouldn't spook her. "What aren't you telling me?" he asked very softly.

"It's probably nothing."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that."

"When I walked out to the parking garage tonight, I thought I saw someone hanging by my car … and I wondered for a moment if it might be him, he had the right height and build, or so I thought, but I didn't get close enough for a good look. It could've been anybody or just something I imagined, I'm not sure. I looked behind to see if anyone else was around and when I turned back there was no one. I just got a bit apprehensive when I thought it could be him, that's all…" her voice trailed off and she studied his face, accurately reading his expression. "Tim don't look so worried, it was probably nothing. Lots of people have perfectly valid reasons for being in the garage," she said with certainty.

"Or you're just telling yourself that so you can sleep tonight. You're too observant to imagine something like that. Why didn't you report this? Especially after you were threatened earlier?"

"I knew you were going to react this way."

"Damn right Calleigh," he said sitting up. "Jesus, Cal, what were you thinking? A guy who's a suspect in a triple homicide threatens you and you think he could be hanging around your car and you do nothing? You should've had him picked up and held, or at the least, tailed. You have to tell H that this guy threatened you," he said, grabbing the phone and handing it to her. "You shouldn't be involved with this anymore if it's going to put you at risk."

"Tim, now you are really over reacting, we're at risk most days and we just deal with it There was nothing to report because there was no one there to report. I'm a cop, I know what to do," she replied with defiance, ignoring the phone he proffered. "This was an idle, mumbled, vague threat and maybe a fleeting person in the parking garage. If I weren't so tired it wouldn't have bothered me. It's been on my mind and a little hard to shake, that's all it is. Honestly Tim, you don't have to be this worried."

"Like hell, I don't. And if this wasn't an idle threat and this guy was hanging around waiting for you, what then?" he asked, roughly raking his hand through his hair with frustration.

"I had my hand on my gun. I'm capable of taking care of myself, just like I'm capable of doing my job. Why do you always forget that?"

"That's not really the point. I know you're an excellent shot, but what if you're put in a position where you can't get to your gun first? What happens then? It's not really something I want to find out." Agitated, he drew in a deep breath hoping to calm down. As if sensing his need, she sat up, placed one hand on his shoulder while reaching for his cheek with her other hand and pulled him to her, kissing him gently.

"I know you worry and as much as I don't want you to, I do understand. But I'm fine. You have to trust me and let me handle this. And I will. I was a little jumpy earlier and I told you because I don't want to keep things from you, but I'm fine now, so you have to let it go."

He shook his head. "I can't do that Calleigh." He understood what she was asking; he also understood that this was as close as she would admit to feeling momentarily out of control. For Calleigh, this was a huge admission and now, she was back in control and would deal with the situation herself, but for him, this wasn't something he could just let go of.

"You don't have a choice. This is my case. What goes on between us here, what we talk about, is just between us and stays between us. You can't interfere with my job. That's how it has to be, okay?"

"Cal," he said dropping his head and sighing deeply. She lifted his chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. "Fine," he said resignedly. She nodded and smiled. "I love you," he said, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tight. "But you have to deal with this. I want you safe."

"I love you, too," she returned, kissing him lightly. "And I will. I'm fine." He nodded and kissed her back. "You, though, seem pretty tense," she informed him as her arms went around his neck. "Think I have a solution for that," she said. Lying down, she pulled him with her and he willingly complied. Flush against her body, his arousal grew as she thrust her hips against him and sunk her lips into his neck. He wasn't ready to let this go, but his body betrayed him, leaving him no choice.

"I'm sure you do," he said, panting slightly as she continued caressing his neck with her lips. There was no doubt she had been successful in distracting him, but he would have the last word. "Oh, and Cal, I'm driving you in tomorrow," he said and moved his mouth over hers before she could protest.

_CITW CITW CITW_

"Delko, you seen Calleigh lately?" Tim asked his friend as he wandered into the layout room.

"Yeah, I think she left awhile ago and none too happily. Why?"

"We drove in together," he replied with an exasperated sigh.

"Then I think she stranded you. What'd you do?" Eric asked, laughing. "Oh, wait," he said, answering his own question. "This about that case H put me on? I saw the surveillance footage from the parking lot," he said, his expression now serious. "There was what appeared to be a fleeting image of a figure by her car, but not someone we could positively ID. Could've been anyone, didn't really look suspicious, but I couldn't see enough to be certain. She's not too thrilled with H wanting her to step back a bit on this one. But you know, she's out of town in a couple days and that's the reason he gave her, not that she believed him. You know how she can be when she gets something in her head," he said, keeping his eyes on Tim. "If you don't mind hanging around a bit, I'll give you a ride."

Shoving his hands in his pockets Tim shifted his weight restlessly. _Not too thrilled, that was an understatement. _"Yeah, thanks. I'm in no hurry. I'll be in trace, just come get me when you're ready."

"Will do," Eric said, lightly slapping him on the back as he headed away.

There was no question she was furious and undoubtedly had been avoiding him all day, as he supposed he had done with her. Although, in his defense, he'd tried to call her a couple times, only to have his call go directly to her voice mail. He had to admit, he wasn't exactly surprised she'd deserted him at work. It would be entirely too optimistic of him to think she'd simply forgotten they'd driven in together this morning, not after the fuss he'd made about not wanting her to drive in alone. She'd humored him, but that was this morning, when she still loved him. He had no choice now, but to try to explain when he got home and hope that she wouldn't be kicking him to the pavement. No matter what she thought, he hadn't betrayed her to their boss, not entirely anyway.

The ride home with Delko was a quiet one. His buddy fortunately kept his comments to himself, save the offer of his living room couch, to which Tim responded by reminding him that he still had his apartment for a few more weeks, he only hoped he wouldn't need it.

The apartment was quiet when he walked in and made his way to the kitchen. A quick glance at the spotless surfaces and gleaming chrome alerted him to her mood, not to mention the lingering scent of the lemon cleanser she favored. He imagined if he opened the cupboards the contents of each would be in perfect order. Undoubtedly too angry to sit still, the whirlwind behind this cleaning frenzy was nowhere in sight, meaning she'd moved on to her next area of attack. He wandered down the hall where he found her scrubbing the bathroom sink. Not missing a beat, she spoke without looking up.

"I really don't think I can talk to you right now."

"Calleigh," he said, sighing heavily and leaning against the doorframe, "I think we do need to talk about this. You're obviously mad at me and I'd like to explain."

Rising to her full height, she squared her shoulders and narrowed her eyes at him. "How could you Tim? How could you go behind my back to Horatio and undermine me?" she said with emphasis on 'behind my back'."

"I didn't undermine you to Horatio," he began, but she cut him off.

"Are you telling me you didn't talk to Horatio? Before I had a chance to? That you didn't reveal something I told you in the privacy of our bed, something I told you I'd handle?" she asked with darkened, angry eyes blazing at him.

"Not the way you think. Can we please go sit down?"

"No. I don't want to go sit down because I don't even want to be having this conversation with you," she said before returning to her scrubbing.

"I know you asked me to stay out of it," he started, before being cut off again.

"But you couldn't do that could you? You couldn't let me make my own decisions about how to handle this? How am I supposed to respond to that?"

"By giving me a chance to explain maybe," he said with agitation. "Yes, I saw H early this morning, but all I did was ask him what was going on with the case and if he thought the suspect you had yesterday was a threat. I didn't say anything else. It was a brief conversation, he was a little busy."

"That's all?" she asked, but it was obvious from her tone that she didn't believe him.

"Yeah, that's all," he answered, feeling the weight of her anger and distress squarely on his shoulders.

"And based on that he came up with everything else?" she questioned, prodding him for more.

"I don't know what he knew, but I didn't betray your confidence, not the way you think," he said, shifting his weight and dropping his head. He didn't feel guilty, but he did, if that was at all possible.

"What?" she snapped.

"I told him I was concerned," he said as he watched her expression change from anger to surprise to indignation.

"How could you do that without talking to me first? Without letting me talk to him first?" she asked, barely masking the fury in her voice.

"Because I was concerned," he said with emphasis, meeting her wide-eyed gaze. "Because if someone threatens you and is possibly lurking around your car in a parking garage, I tend to take it seriously."

"And I don't? Is that what you're saying? That I have no idea how to handle the situation, to do my job? Is that what you think?" Her posture matched her outrage she stood now with her back ramrod straight and her arms tightly crossed in front of her.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. Look Calleigh, I called you twice and tried to explain this, but you weren't available. I'm sorry you think I went behind your back." There was no question he was sorry he had upset her this way, but he couldn't say for sure he would do anything differently than he did.

"But you did it anyway," she said in an even voice as she drew in a deep breath and briefly relaxed her stance.

"If that's how you choose to look at it," he replied with growing frustration at her refusal to understand. But it was his own fault and he knew it, for he hadn't really told her why he did what he did, not really, not in any way that mattered.

Once more she faced off to him, her eyes boring into his as she spoke. "Tim just because we're sleeping together it doesn't give you the right to interfere in my life. I thought I could trust you."

The intensity behind each word struck him like a punch to the gut and he was both surprised that she would say such a thing and that it would hurt as much as it did. "So that's what we are, just sleeping together? Nice to know," he said with sarcasm and turned on his heel, making it half way down the hallway before she caught up to him.

"That … that, was a horrible thing to say. I'm sorry, I really am," she said very quietly with sincerity in her voice. 'Yeah it was,' he wanted to say, but refrained, for she probably felt more wronged than he did. He supposed, in her eyes, it was as if he'd used her weakness against her and broke her confidence at the same time. And for Calleigh, appearing weak anytime, but especially at work, was unacceptable. That she had shared her fear with him, without ever coming right out and calling it that, was a sign of her trust in him, trust she now felt he'd broken. What she didn't realize was that it was his weakness, his fear of losing her that led to his actions, or maybe she did and didn't care.

"I'm sorry, too Calleigh, for everything," he said, his eyes downcast. They stood just a foot apart, but made no attempt to connect. An uneasy truce had been declared, but the hurt that lingered in the air, was thick enough to cut through. "I, uh, think I'll go work in the office."

"I'm just going to finish up here, then go to bed," she said flatly, apparently no longer wasting emotion on him. He nodded and walked down to the office still thinking about the words she had hurled at him. Just words spoken in anger or did they hold some deeper meaning? This gash in their relationship seemed a little deeper than one that could be tended with a simple bandage, but just how deep it was, he didn't yet know.

TBC


	11. Inroads

Changes in The Wind

Inroads

Gradually, he fought his way out of sleep, like he was finding his way through a thick fog. Struggling to open his eyes, the best he could manage was a squint as he sought the time on the nightstand clock. Unable to bear the discomfort of the light shining in his eyes any longer, he swiftly closed them. At just after five, it was still early, meaning he'd woken well before the alarm for the second morning in a row, the by-product of another restless night. Now it appeared he was going to spend the day paying the price of too much stress and too little sleep. His head ached, like a vice had been clamped around his skull during the night and tightened repeatedly, causing both temples to throb with every beat of his heart. Moving made the pain worse. Even the simple act of blinking hurt, so he kept his eyes shut and rested back down on the pillow, in no hurry to get out of bed.

This was going to be a killer headache, the likes of which would be with him all day and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it. If only he could stick his head under the covers and sleep it off, but that wasn't practical considering how much work he had waiting for him at the lab. Besides, his sleep had been fitful the past two nights and likely wouldn't be coming any easier this morning, not with this headache, not unless someone was kind enough to drug him senseless or knock him unconscious. Of course, right about now, both those suggestions sounded good to his ears and he figured he knew who'd be first in line to offer her services.

Shifting slightly in the bed, hoping to find a more comfortable position, he felt her snuggled under his arm, using his chest as a pillow. Funny, he thought, how for the second morning in a row they woke entwined and tangled, despite purposely going to sleep with as much distance between them as they could manage in a queen sized bed inhabited by two adults. Betrayed by their bodies and barely awake selves, the physical gulf between them had been crossed during the night, but he knew the same could not be said for the emotional one.

It had always been that way for them, right from the beginning. They would instinctively seek each other during the night, no matter what had prevailed earlier. There existed between them an inherent trust that comfort and security could always be found in the other's arms. And it could, for neither one of them had ever turned away the other. Not enough to take away the hurt or eliminate the current strain in their relationship, it was still enough to nourish the hope that they would see their way through this. While she lay in his arms, he knew only that he loved her. Now, if only they could stay like this all day without moving, it would do wonders for his raging headache.

Awake now, she squirmed off his chest and onto her side, but didn't yet move out from under his arm. Yesterday, she fled from him the moment she reached consciousness and realized her sleeping self had betrayed her. Awkward and uncomfortable when she woke, she somehow knew that she had been the one to close the distance between them, needing his arms around her while she slept, like it or not. But this morning she stayed put, perhaps realizing he had been the one who reached for her in the middle of the night and she wasn't yet sure if she should leave his side.

Her squirming jarred his head and he winced silently, unaware that she was studying him. Motioning up onto her elbow, she placed her hand lightly on his cheek, causing him to open his eyes. "What's wrong?" she asked very softly. He shook his head, squeezing his eyes tight at the discomfort the movement and light caused. "It's your head, isn't it?" she asked, though it was more a statement than a question since she was well aware of his occasional serious headaches. "How bad is it? Did you sleep at all?"

"I'm fine. It's not that bad," he lied. Hearing that she immediately sat up in the bed.

"No you're not. I can tell you're in a lot of pain and probably didn't sleep a wink. And I bet you haven't taken anything for it have you?" she questioned while she climbed out of the bed. "You should've woken me, I would've gotten you something. You try ignoring it, like it's going to go away on it's own and all that does is make it worse. I'll be right back," she said as she padded into the bathroom. He sighed deeply, only Calleigh could mix concern with equal parts displeasure, a sure sign all was not yet forgiven. At least though, there was concern and that was better than nothing. "Here," she said, handing him his pain reliever and holding out the cup of water.

"Thanks," he mumbled, sitting up with a groan. She felt his forehead with her fingertips. "It's just a headache, I'm not sick," he groused, placing the cup on the nightstand, but she was not to be deterred.

"Maybe you should stay home. Eric and I can cover for you," she offered, ignoring his pronouncement of wellness.

"I don't need to stay home," he said, regretting immediately the caustic way it came out of his mouth. "I'll be fine. I just need some coffee," he said with less of an edge to his voice this time.

"Caffeine will only make your headache worse. It's still early, will you at least lie here a little while longer till the pills work?" she asked with warmth in her eyes and voice.

"Yeah, for a few minutes," he grumbled, lying back down on the bed.

"Alright. I'm going to take my shower." He nodded as he watched her go and then closed his eyes, already missing her presence in the bed.

Dozing, thanks to the magic of the meds, which turned the blinding ache into a dull throb, he opened his eyes when he felt the bed shift. She sat beside him and placed her hand on his cheek, gently stroking the rough stubbled skin. "Any better?" she asked. Wet hair pulled back in a ponytail, she was dressed for work and smelling of flowers, which normally he liked, but right now only served to turn his already unsettled stomach.

"Yeah," he answered, squinting at the clock. "Shit, I gotta get going," he said, getting up and wincing at the sudden movement.

"Don't worry, you have plenty of time. Want some breakfast?"

He shook his head. "Coffee." She opened her mouth, but he stopped her by putting his hand up. "Please," he pleaded. "I'm gonna take a shower. You still be here when I get out?" he asked, wondering if the frost had fully thawed between them yet.

"For a little bit. I have some things to do," she answered flatly and moved off the bed. He still wondered about things between them. It had been a strained day yesterday and he was curious if today would be a repeat. They were talking, but not talking. Their conversations with each other were stilted and filled with awkward silences, not their usual easy banter. And to top it off, they completely avoided talking about the very thing that had fractured their relationship. When had they forgotten how to talk to each other, he wondered? Yesterday evening, she spent packing for Atlanta and readying for her lecture, basically keeping to herself in the small apartment. Whenever he looked at her, there was a distance in her eyes, as if she were somewhere else completely. It was an unsettling feeling to say the least and he was beginning to question if she were having significant doubts about their relationship. No wonder he couldn't sleep, he thought with a shudder.

Slowly he dragged his body into the bathroom, his head throbbing with each step, his stomach doing it's best to put him off food forever. There was no point putting the light on, it would only make him want to clamp his eyes shut. Squinting into the mirror, he debated shaving, as he really wasn't up to it, but thought he'd try anyway. It ended up being a half assed job and not at all close, but was maybe a slight improvement. Turning the shower on as hot as he thought he could take it, he stripped out of his shorts and stepped inside. He leaned against the stall wall and let the steamy water rush over him until it was no longer hot. By that point, he figured it was time to drag his ass out of there, because ready or not, it was time to face the world.

Grabbing the first available shirt he found in the closet, along with the jeans he discarded yesterday, he dressed quickly, unsure if he was alone in the apartment or not. The answer came just as he sat on the bed and bent over to put his boots on. He looked up as she came to rest beside him, holding a glass of apple juice.

"You okay?" she questioned, eyeing him closely. "I was afraid you'd fallen asleep in there. Did the shower help at all?" she asked, absently smoothing his unruly, uncombed hair with her free hand.

"I guess," he answered, sighing deeply and sitting up.

"Think you can eat anything?" she persisted, still fussing with his hair. It aggravated him, his head already hurt enough and bending over hadn't helped, but he didn't want to do anything to make her back off, so he'd gladly put up with it.

"Nah. Not hungry this morning," he said, wishing only to lie down again for a few hours, or maybe days.

"Here," she said, offering him the glass. "I brought you some juice." He looked at her warily.

"We out of coffee?" he asked, knowing full well they weren't, before hesitantly taking the glass from her.

"No, you know we're not." She smiled as she answered, a beautiful sight and something that had been missing the past couple days. "And you know you can't drink it right now, it will only make you feel worse. Will you try drinking the juice, so you at least have something in your stomach?" she asked, stroking the back of his neck, apparently having given up on trying to smooth out his hair. The intimacy of the gesture was not lost on him. He drank down most of the juice, knowing they wouldn't be leaving for work until he complied with her request.

"I need some coffee to help keep me awake," he grumbled, before finishing the remaining liquid.

"Sure you don't want to stay here and lie down for awhile longer?" she asked, taking the empty cup from him and apparently choosing to ignore his coffee needs. Shaking his head, he started off the bed, grabbing her hand and pulling her up as well.

"No, too much to do today. I'll be fine. C'mon, we're gonna be late. Thanks for the non-caffeinated juice," he said, attempting humor. They stood face to face, her hand still in his and he wondered what she would do if he kissed her just then.

"You're welcome," she answered brightly. With no further thought, he leaned into her and lightly brushed his lips against hers, afraid to linger for too long, but needing this as badly as he needed any headache reliever. It was clear from the brief glimpse into her eyes and the way she stiffly held herself that the kiss was unexpected, but she didn't back off, instead relaxed against him, which was the only encouragement he needed. His lips caressed hers in a brief, but soft and gentle kiss. Pulling away, he opened his eyes, finding hers locked on him. Missing was the far away expression he'd gotten used to seeing over the past couple of days, instead her gaze was clear with an almost hopeful glint in her eyes. "We should get going," she said. He nodded his agreement and gave her hand a squeeze before dropping it. "I thought I'd drive you in. I really don't want you on the bike this morning," she said firmly with an expression that told him there'd be no point in arguing.

It wasn't much as far as kisses went, but the look in her eyes had given him something to hold on to. Maybe, finally, they were making inroads towards mending this rift between them. But he knew they still had a ways to go and it would have to include an explanation of why he reacted to her threat the way that he had. Which of course meant figuring it out for himself first. That ought to do wonders for his headache, he thought sarcastically. Following her out of the room, he grabbed his stuff and headed out to the car on her heels. Grateful for the offer of a ride, he got in the passenger seat, sat back and closed his eyes. His head still hurt and he wished he had considered staying home this morning, but his workaholic tendencies and stubborn streak had gotten the better of him, as usual. At least he could rest on the drive and if he were lucky they'd get stuck in some traffic prolonging the ride.

Mercifully, he'd been able to doze a little in the car and woke to her gently shaking his shoulder. "Tim we're here. You okay?" she asked, sounding worried.

"Mmm," he mumbled, opening his eyes and squinting at her. "Okay," he responded, gathering up his stuff. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for driving today."

"No problem," she answered, getting out of the car. They walked in silence and once inside, he turned to her before heading off.

"I'll see you later," he said, briefly brushing his hand against her arm. "I gotta go take care of some stuff in trace."

"Okay. I hope you feel better. Maybe you can stay in the lab today and take it easy. Talk to Horatio, okay?" she pleaded. Shrugging, he tipped his head to her before heading down the hall.

Slumped over in his seat, he rested his throbbing head in one hand while he struggled through his paperwork. The headache had actually improved as the morning wore on, but he still had a ways to go before he felt like himself. He sensed her as she stood in the doorway and recognized her familiar perfume as she approached. Looking up when he finished writing, he noticed she was still eyeing him with worry, the way she had while they were still at home. Surprised to see her, he wasn't sure if this were a personal or work related visit.

"Hey," he said, inclining his head.

"Hi," she said warmly. "How are you feeling? You still look uncomfortable."

"I'm okay. It's a little better," he told her and that was almost the truth. Curious, he pondered the reason behind this mid morning visit, fiddling nervously with his pen while he waited.

"Eric's looking for you," she announced. He glanced sideways in surprise, having just spoken to Eric, not fifteen minutes ago.

"Yeah," he answered, quirking a brow. "He found me. He actually knows how to use his phone when he's too lazy to walk, from however many feet away he is, to find me," he said with a smirk and earning a laugh from her in return. "Is that it? Or is there something else you need?"

"No," she replied, shaking her head as she sidled up next to him. "Just thought I'd stop by. I wondered how you were, if you felt any better." She was still regarding him closely. This apparent concern for his well-being was the real reason behind this visit, he deduced. "I think it's time for you to take some more of the pain reliever. Here," she said, stuffing her hand in her lab coat pocket, pulling out the pill bottle and then reaching into the other pocket for a bottle of water. "I wasn't sure if you'd have anything with you or if you'd remember when to take more," she explained then stopped, probably because he was looking at her so strangely. "You know, if you got too busy you might not think of it till it was too late and then you'd be in the same state you were this morning," she continued. "I don't want to see you that uncomfortable again."

"Thanks?" he said, not meaning the word to come out sounding like a question, but he didn't expect this much consideration from her considering how displeased she'd been with him lately. "I appreciate it. I'm not sure I have anything in my locker," he said quickly, hoping to remedy his earlier slip. She smiled. He didn't have the heart to tell her he probably could've found something for his headache somewhere in the building or from Alexx. Her concern was touching.

"So, Eric said something about a basketball game tonight."

"Yeah," he answered, nodding. "That's what he was calling about. He came into some tickets."

"Oh. You going? Think you'll feel better by tonight?" she asked, giving nothing away in her voice or expression. He shook his head. "No? You don't think you'll feel better?"

"No. That's not why. I'm sure I'll be fine by tonight." He could tell by the confusion on her face that she wasn't following. "Cal you're leaving tomorrow. I don't want to go out and end up not seeing you." She was studying him as he talked and he was doing the same with her. It was obvious his answer surprised her, just as her visit surprised him. "I was kind of hoping we could work through this, this whatever, that's going on between us," he said very softly, dropping his eyes from her intent gaze. He drew in a sharp breath as he waited for her response.

"I'm glad you're going to be home tonight. And we will," she said, placing her hand on his arm.

"I think I may get out of here early today. Okay if I take your car?" he asked, needing to change the subject, not ready to discuss their relationship any longer and especially not at work. "I can come back and get you when you're done."

"Don't be silly. I can get a ride. It's good you're leaving early. It's kind of slow. We'll be fine without you. Are you alright to drive? If not, I can probably steal away to drop you off."

"Yeah, I'm fine Cal. Honest," he added for emphasis.

"Okay. Try to rest. I'll take care of dinner tonight. Do you have your keys?" He nodded. "I'll try not to be late," she said putting her hand on his shoulder. "See you later?"

"Yeah. Thanks Cal," he said waving the pill bottle at her and earning a warm smile in return. Maybe there was hope for tonight after all. After she left, he chose to finish only what was absolutely essential, so he could leave. The sooner he got out of there, the sooner he could lie down and put his aching head out of misery. He could almost feel the pillow nestled under his head as he scribbled the rest of his notes.

Some hours later, the pillow nestled under his head was the only thing he felt as he sluggishly opened his eyes. He was uncertain how long he had been asleep, but the dark bedroom provided evidence that evening had descended. The throbbing in his head was finally gone, but sleeping the afternoon left him disoriented and groggy. Still, he felt much better and was grateful the day had been slow enough to allow him the chance to skip out early, because it was exactly what he needed. That, plus the knowledge that Calleigh was thawing towards him, put his mind at ease and eliminated some of the stress he had been feeling. Climbing out of the bed, he first stretched out his back and then searched for the clothes he had carelessly tossed on the floor earlier. Finding them neatly folded on the bench in front of the bed told him Calleigh was home from work.

The sounds of chopping became evident as he wandered towards the kitchen, setting off a feeling of hunger for the first time all day. "Hey," he called to her back by way of a greeting.

Turning around at the sound of his voice, she eyed him carefully with a mixture of concern and hesitation. "Hi. I didn't wake you, did I?" she asked, putting down the knife and wiping her hands on a nearby towel. Shaking his head, he joined her by the counter. "You look a lot better than when I saw you last," she said, sounding relieved. "Do you feel better? Is the headache completely gone?"

"Yeah, I'm good. Sleep helped, although I'm sure to pay the price tomorrow for leaving early today and not getting everything done," he said with an exasperated sigh.

"We were quiet most of the day. Eric took care of some stuff for you. You might not have that much waiting for you. It was more important that you got some sleep. I think it made the difference. She paused, looking at him like she wanted to say more, but was uncertain. He waited, not wanting to push her. "I was concerned about you today," she paused again, taking a deep breath before going on. "And I was worried that I was at the root of your headache."

"Cal, my headache wasn't your fault. It just happens sometimes," he said, wanting to reassure her. "If anyone's to blame it's me."

"Yeah, but I think I've had something to do with why you haven't been sleeping very well. The other day, I might've overreacted," she said apologetically.

"And you don't think I overreacted?" he interrupted, raising his brows in surprise.

"Maybe we both did. But what I said to you that night that was really uncalled for. I don't think that little of our relationship, I hope you know that," she said, her eyes conveying the emotion she kept out of her voice.

"Yeah, I know," he answered, keeping his gaze on her. She was sincere, but he still had a hard time believing with his whole heart. Surprising him, she slipped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his chest. He responded by wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly. Neither spoke for several long moments, both needing this reconnection after the icy distance of the past two days. "I missed you," he whispered and felt her nod against his chest. "C'mon," he said, pulling away and taking her hand as he led her from the kitchen.

"What about dinner?" she asked, confused.

"Dinner can wait, this can't," he said in a commanding tone.

"But aren't you hungry? You haven't eaten all day," she persisted.

"Calleigh," he said with complete exasperation and it was enough, because she said no more and joined him on the couch. "I need you to know that I never repeated anything to Horatio that you told me in private," he said, leaning forward with his hands on his knees. She gave a small nod. "But I can't tell you that I regret talking to him, or that I wouldn't do it again." Her mouth opened to protest, but he held up his hand, giving her a look that indicated he wasn't done. "All I did was tell him I was concerned, knowing full well that he would look into it himself and that was enough to satisfy me. Maybe I should've waited and let you talk to him first, but," he paused, feeling the weight of what he was about to admit, "I can't say that when it comes to you I'm always able to think with my head," he said softly, dropping his eyes from her steady gaze. "I'm just sorry if my actions hurt you or made you think I don't trust you to do your job. I do Calleigh, you know that, but if I think you might be in danger," he stopped, unable to finish his sentence, because the idea of someone hurting her was just too much.

"I shouldn't have accused you. I know Horatio has his ways of finding out everything. And Tim, I understand your concerns, it's not like I don't worry about you as well, but it is part of the job and you have to deal with it, especially when it comes to me." Taking in a deep breath, he nodded, knowing she was right, but knowing also, it wasn't that simple. "I'm not used to it, mattering this much to someone," she said unexpectedly, dropping her eyes. "It can take me by surprise sometimes, yet it's also something I count on and that's important to me, maybe more than you know. But I don't always handle it well and it makes me wonder if I can do this."

This threw him, because he wasn't at all certain what it was she was saying, but that far off look was back in her eyes and he wondered exactly where she was. "I'm not sure I'm following you."

"It's easy with you Tim, but it's hard at the same time." He looked at her then, feeling her eyes on him. "Judging from your expression, I guess I'm not making a lot of sense. Sometimes I just think I'm not very good at this," she said sadly, but didn't elaborate.

"Well, I suppose I could say the same thing," he said. There was a part of him that wondered where this was leading them, but at the same time, he didn't really want to know.

She nodded, readily agreeing with his assessment. "But somehow, we make it work, in spite of everything, don't we?" she asked, looking at him as if he could eliminate all of her doubts, doubts he never expected her to have.

"Yeah, I always thought so," he said, now filled with doubt himself. Calleigh always believed in them. She was the one who waited for him. She put up with him and seemed happy with him most of the time. That was what he counted on. Chuckling, he remembered something Delko had said when he and Calleigh first moved in together, something he hadn't thought about since.

"What?" she asked, her curiosity piqued.

"Oh, I was just thinking about something Delko said. He wondered how our relationship worked because we were so different and he asked if we just canceled each other out." He shook his head, chuckling again. "Maybe it doesn't really make sense, but I kind of get what he meant when I think about us now. Despite the differences and the doubts and the screw ups, we've still been able to find our way back to each other, like that's all that really matters and the other stuff just cancels out."

"Do you believe that?" she questioned, giving him a look that seemed to signal that maybe she wasn't so sure.

He shrugged. "I don't know. I love you Calleigh. That I do know. It hasn't changed, it's still what matters most to me," he answered honestly. The thought that there was more to this, something she was still holding back from him, took hold and froze in his brain, but he wasn't ready to delve further.

"I love you, too and that's what I hang on to. These past couple days have been pretty miserable," she said and he couldn't agree more. Turning to face him, she reached her arms around his neck, pulling him close and eagerly found his mouth. Parting her lips, her mouth moved against his, insistent and needy, to which he responded ardently. His heart pounded in his chest as his desire for her began to override the thoughts still spinning in his head. Her admission of doubt weighed heavily on him, but the movement of her tongue exploring the depths of his mouth was making quick work of helping him to forget. Pressing herself flush against him, her hands snaked up his shirt, causing shivers to run along his spine and he quickly moved them off the couch, never moving his lips off hers.

Somehow he led them to the bedroom, while managing to remove various articles of clothing and avoid damaging body parts on furniture and walls along the way. His earlier hunger had been replaced by a more pressing hunger of a completely different sort. Dinner and doubts were, for now, on hold.

TBC


	12. Mixed Messages

Changes in the Wind

Mixed Messages

The sound of the alarm clock woke him from the best night's sleep he'd had in a few days, but unfortunately, even as good as it was, it wasn't long enough. Blindly, he reached over to the nightstand, felt his way to the snooze button and pushed it with satisfaction. Calleigh hated it when he did that, she lived in fear of not waking on time and being late for work, but since she showed no signs of rousing from her slumber, he figured an additional fifteen minutes wouldn't kill them. After all, the extra time was the very least he could give her after keeping her awake long into the night. Not that he regretted a moment of it, nor did he imagine she did, but he still felt bad since she hadn't had the benefit of sleeping all afternoon the way he had. He eased back to sleep without difficulty, relishing the feel of her smooth, warm body flush against his.

Fifteen minutes later, the insistent buzzing jarred them both awake. Although for him, it was her squirming and climbing across his body to reach for the clock that was most effective in bringing him to consciousness.

"Tim, you hit the snooze," she complained in a sleep-strangled voice, straining across him to reach the alarm and stop the noise. "You know how I feel about that," she continued, sounding annoyed and still struggling to find the right button with partly closed eyes.

"How can you tell?" he asked, biting back a smile. Her body was splayed across him and he took advantage of this position to lightly caress whichever part of her his hands came in contact with.

"I can tell time and I can see that it's fifteen minutes later than the alarm was set for," she informed him, having finally managed to turn off the alarm, no thanks to him.

He grabbed her before she could move away, pulling her against him and covering her lips with his before she could object. She tried to wiggle away, but his grasp was firm and his lips insistent. Giving up the struggle after a moment, she relaxed against him and returned his kisses eagerly. Lost in the sensation of kissing her, he groaned in protest when she pulled back and moved off him before things could get any more heated than they already were.

"You do know we have to be at work soon and we stand a good chance of being late if we keep this up, don't you?" she asked, attempting to hide a smile.

"And good morning to you, as well," he said, reaching for her again.

"Good morning," she said softly, leaning in and brushing her lips against his.

"It is a good morning, Beautiful. Sleep well?"

"Mmm. But not enough," she replied with a yawn, resting against his chest.

"Sorry," he said, dropping a kiss on the top of her head.

She rose up on her elbows to meet his dark eyes. "No you're not," she said with an expression of amusement.

"You're right, I'm not sorry," he said with a smirk. "Well, I am sorry you're tired and worn out this morning, but no, I don't regret any of last night, especially since I'm going to be sleeping alone the next couple nights. And," he paused for emphasis, "I don't recall hearing any complaints from you during the night, quite the contrary as a matter of fact," he said, pleased with himself, before moving his lips into her neck.

"No complaints from me," she agreed, threading her fingers through his unruly dark locks. "But, I think Horatio may have a few if we don't get out of bed this morning and make it into work on time."

"You do know how to kill a mood," he grumbled. "But I love you in spite of it," he said before kissing her.

"I love you, too," she whispered against his lips, lingering a moment. "I'm getting the shower first," she said, moving away from him. "You get to make the coffee and maybe some toast or something. We won't have a lot of time to eat," she said as she climbed out of the bed and grabbed her robe.

"I could join you in the shower, that would save time," he suggested hopefully.

"Well, you could," she teased, slowly drawing out each word, "but the object is to hurry through the shower and quickly get ready for work. Probably not your main objective this morning," she said before picking up and tossing his robe at him. "But maybe, next time, if you're lucky," she said, ducking as he flung the robe back at her. "Go Tim," she instructed, pointing in the direction of the kitchen before heading into the bathroom. "I need coffee this morning. You owe me."

"Fine," he grumbled, as he gingerly moved out of the bed, forgetting he, too, was sore and worn out this morning. But it was worth it, he thought, worth a bit of fatigue to have finally been able to reconnect after being off track the past couple days.

Padding into the kitchen, he stopped in front of the coffee maker and stretched out his aching back, grateful Calleigh was as efficient as she was and had remembered to get the coffee maker ready last night before turning in. Coffee brewing, he rustled around the breadbox, found a couple bagels and popped them in the toaster. Deed done, he wandered into the steam filled bathroom, wiped a clear spot in the mirror with his forearm and stared at his bristled face. "Ya think I have to shave?" he asked rubbing his chin, knowing full well her answer.

"Yes," she called from inside the shower. "Is the coffee ready?"

"Patience. I just turned it on," he called back, grabbing his razor. "And I'm not shaving while you're away," he said defiantly, mainly to himself.

"I heard that. Just make sure you shave before I get back," she insisted, turning off the water, pulling back the curtain and sticking her head out.

"Yes, dear," he replied with sarcasm. Putting the razor down, he handed her a towel as she climbed out of the shower, allowing his eyes to linger longingly over her naked body.

"Thanks," she said, blushing under his intent gaze. "Don't get any ideas. You really need to hurry along," she said, as she dried off and he continued enjoying the view she provided.

"You're spoiling all my fun this morning," he groused.

"You had plenty of fun last night," she said, kissing his cheek as she headed out of the bathroom.

Shaved and showered, he dressed quickly, grabbing whatever shirt was closest when he stuck his hand in the cramped closet and managing to knock two others off their hangers in the process. He joined her in the kitchen, finding the mug of still steaming coffee that she left for him on the counter.

"Thanks," he said, grabbing the mug. "Hey Cal, did you by any chance bring the paper in?" he asked, looking, but not finding the paper on the counter or the table. "You eat yet?" he asked, but there was still no response from her. Peering down the counter and finding the two prepared bagels still sitting by the toaster, he answered his own question. "Aren't you going to eat?" he asked, grabbing the food. Eyeing her as he made his way to the table, juggling his coffee and the plates of bagels, he couldn't help but notice she was a million miles away. "Cal?"

"Oh, what? Sorry, I didn't hear you come in," she said distractedly.

"Yeah, I noticed," he said, taking the seat across from her and biting into his bagel while she ignored hers. "You not hungry? Something wrong?" he asked, lines of worry deepening on his face.

"Wrong? No. Why do you ask?" she ased, looking perplexed.

"Well, because you're sitting here, but you're obviously not here. You were begging for coffee but you haven't drank any of it, unless that's your second cup," he said, eyeballing her full mug. "And you haven't heard a word I've said. So, I naturally wondered if something was going on with you," he said, still curious about her distracted state.

"No, nothing," she answered, though not confidently. "Really. Just a little tired this morning, is all," she continued and absently played with the bagel, breaking it into smaller pieces, almost as if she needed something to do to avoid his scrutinizing eyes.

"Something about the trip on your mind?" he asked, causing her to jerk her head up. A flash of something crossed her eyes and her body momentarily stiffened. Discomfort? Surprise? He couldn't be certain what he was seeing.

"No," she answered a tad too quickly, but he got the sense that indeed the trip was on her mind, although for reasons he couldn't fathom.

"You all set for your lecture?" he asked, trying another tactic. She nodded, taking a miniscule bite of her bagel. "They're lucky to have you, I hope they know that," he said, placing his hand over hers. She smiled weakly, but still seemed to be holding something back. "Cal," he started, but paused and took in a deep breath before continuing. "Is everything okay with us?"

Her features softened. "Yeah, we're good. It's nothing Tim, I just," she stopped at the sound of his pager and they both looked down at his hip.

"Sorry Cal," he said at the same moment his phone trilled. He took the call and watched while she brought plates and mugs to the sink, taking her time to carefully rinse everything before heading out of the kitchen. Call completed, he sought her whereabouts and found her in the bedroom brushing her hair.

"You have to go?" she asked, putting the brush down.

"Yeah, sorry. You know how it is, bodies turn up, we show up. Was there something you were going to say a minute ago," he asked, placing his hand on her waist.

"It was nothing. I don't want you to be late," she said, moving against him and he opened his arms to pull her closer.

"You sure?" he asked and she nodded. "How long you gonna be at the lab?"

"Probably till one thirty or so. My flight leaves at three thirty, so that gives me plenty of time to get to the airport. I'll look for you before I go and if you're not around, I'll call your cell, okay?"

"Okay. I'll miss you, you know," he said bringing his lips flush with hers.

"I'll miss you, too. Do you have any plans while I'm away?" she asked.

"Yeah, work. You get to go away, I get to work the next five days," he said with a deep sigh, remembering the plans he once had for this weekend. "Maybe I'll go out with Delko tomorrow night if I'm not stuck at work all night," he shrugged.

"Sorry," she said, kissing him lightly.

"No you're not," he said with a smirk, before kissing her back. "Still wish I could drive you to the airport at least. So, I'll see you sometime Saturday?" he asked, his expression growing puzzled as he waited on her answer.

"Well, no, not till Sunday afternoon," she said hesitantly, dropping her eyes.

"You're staying over Saturday night as well? Since when?" he asked, taken aback at this announcement and wondering when this decision was made cause he could've sworn she was leaving Atlanta after the conference ended on Saturday.

"I have three days off and the conference takes up most of the first two. I have some friends in Atlanta, you know that, and I haven't seen them in awhile, so I thought it might be nice to spend some time with them after the conference ended. I don't know when I'll get another chance like this and you are working all weekend," she rambled, giving him too much information to process at once, especially since he was still stuck on the fact that she wasn't coming home when he thought she was.

He took in a sharp intake of breath and let it out deliberately. "I could've sworn you said you were coming home on Saturday when the seminar was over. I thought we could go out or something," he said, unable to mask his disappointment.

"I'm sorry. Really I am. I thought," she began, before he interrupted.

"Sorry Cal, I can't get into this right now. I really gotta go. If you want to see your friends, you should. I'm disappointed, but I'll live. I love you," he said quickly, cupping her cheeks in his hands then kissing her soundly. "Call me."

"I love you, too. Have a good day. I'll call you before I leave, if I don't see you." He started to leave, but she pulled him back, hugging him tightly once more before he left.

Called out to an abandoned junk yard where multiple body parts had been found by a scavenger looking for something a little more usable, Tim had been going nonstop since he arrived first thing that morning. The sheer volume of stuff that had to be bagged and tagged while processing this particular crime scene was staggering. The body parts were spread out all over the yard, some out in the open, perhaps found by animals and some were buried under piles of rusted junk and trash. They still didn't have a clear picture of exactly how many victims they were looking at and wouldn't know until Alexx had a chance to put bodies back together. At this point, almost any of the junk they were looking at could be a potential murder weapon or have some sort of trace evidence or DNA on it, which meant nothing could be ignored and everything had to be treated as potential evidence.

Wiping his sweaty brow on the sleeve of his jumpsuit, he estimated they had another half day's work here, at the very least. Between the sun, the heat, the smell, the flies and the constant bending over, he was both fed up and wiped out. His phone vibrated then and he drew in an aggravated deep breath as he wondered what it could possibly be now. Wiping his gloved hand on his pants, he barked into the phone without checking caller ID first. "Speed."

"Hi. Bad time?"

Recognizing the voice on the other end, his mood automatically brightened. He checked his watch; she was calling to tell him she was leaving. "I'm in a hot, foul smelling, fly infested junk yard, up to my elbows in body parts, but other than that, it's a good time. Actually, it's nice to hear your voice," he quickly added, his voice softening.

"Sounds like a tough one. Sorry I can't help you out."

"I suppose it could always be worse." Although as he looked around at the carnage he was steeped in, he wondered if that were possible. "I didn't realize it had gotten so late. You leaving now?"

"In just a bit. I didn't want to leave without saying goodbye."

"Thanks. Hope it's a good flight. Make sure you leave me your phone number. Call me when you get in, okay? I'll probably still be at the lab."

"I will, I'll leave it on the counter." The silence on the other end left him pondering what was coming next. "I'm sorry you didn't know I was staying the extra day."

"Yeah, it might have been nice if you had told me." Even though it wasn't something he understood, his response came out far more sarcastic than he intended. He wasn't going to go looking for trouble, not after what they had just gone through. It was best to just let it go.

"I'm sorry Tim."

"It's okay, Cal. I didn't mean to snap, but I gotta get back to work. I love you. Talk to you later?"

"I love you, too. I'll call you when I get in. Bye."

"Bye Cal. Have a safe trip." He hung up, sighed resignedly and went back to the mess that surrounded him. It was going to be a long weekend, in more ways than one and the sooner he was out of this god-forsaken place, the better.

It was close to ten when he finally unlocked the door and dragged himself inside the dark and quiet apartment. Walking through the living room, he turned the stereo on low, just so there'd be some background noise. It never used to bother him to be in the quiet, in fact he used to prefer it, but after all this time with Calleigh he'd gotten out of the habit of being alone. She had the ability to draw him out of his head, where he spent entirely too much time anyway. Mostly though, he just liked being with her, which was going to make the next couple of days tough to get through. The idea of going out with Delko this weekend was sounding better and better. It sure beat coming home to an empty apartment and missing her.

Wandering down to the office to stash the mail and his gear, he was struck by how quickly Calleigh's apartment had become home to him. Home in the truest sense of the word, not just the place where he resided, the way his former apartment always felt. The decor was overly feminine in his opinion, yet there were traces of him everywhere, enough so that there was no question as to where he now lived. This home had become his haven at the end of the day. It was more than the place where they cooked meals, watched movies, did laundry, entertained friends and made love, it was the one place where they could let go of the stress and pain that came with the job and find comfort in the arms of someone who always understood. That was something neither of them had ever had before. In Calleigh, he'd somehow managed to find what he never realized he was searching for, a home and someone to share it with, and it felt better than he ever imagined it would.

He was tired, but his hunger superseded his fatigue. Calleigh had called him earlier to let him know she had gotten in safely and reminded him there were plenty of leftovers in the fridge. Cold chicken and warmed up mashed potatoes sounded perfect right about now. It almost seemed too much trouble to go sit at the table, so he ate while leaning against the corner. All he wanted was to fill his stomach and hit the sheets. Tomorrow would be another long day.

Tomorrow came all too soon in the form of an obnoxious sounding alarm clock that shattered the peaceful slumber he'd fought so hard for. Sleeping without Calleigh next to him was hard, but after a restless start, his fatigue won over his loneliness. He shut the buzzer off and readied himself for another day spent tracking down identities, motive, murder weapon and suspect in the body parts case. When he left last night, they knew they were dealing with three victims and a chainsaw, but that was about it.

"We're gonna be here late again, aren't we?" Eric asked, sounding fatigued, from the other end of the table where the two were swabbing rusted car parts and other pieces of junk for any trace that might lead them somewhere.

"Looks that way. But at least you get to be off tomorrow. I get to come back and do it all again for the entire weekend," Tim replied gruffly.

"Yeah, but isn't Calleigh back tomorrow? That will improve your weekend and your disposition."

"Nah. Not till Sunday." He couldn't help but notice Eric's confusion. "She's staying to visit friends."

"Oh. Then you want to go out tomorrow night instead of tonight, since we're gonna be stuck here late?"

"Yeah, I'm game. It's been a rough couple days."

"Speaking of rough, how's that going for you?"

"How's what going?" Tim asked with confusion.

"You know, being a bachelor?" Eric replied, laughing.

"Very funny. She's away for a couple days, that's all." _That hardly makes me a bachelor. It's not like I'm married, but I'm definitely not single anymore either_.

"Yeah, but is it strange not having her around?" Eric asked. Tim nodded. It was strange, but Eric didn't need to know how very much he missed her.

Another late night in the lab, with little progress made in his case, although after hours spent testing every variety of chainsaw on pig bones, he finally identified the brand used and would spend tomorrow tracking it down. Testing tool marks wasn't exactly his specialty, so he was pretty pleased with his success. He was even happier to finally be home, even if it meant another night dining and sleeping alone. Leftovers would have to once again appease his hunger, since he wasn't up for cooking at this hour. Tomorrow he'd make himself leave work at a reasonable hour and talk Delko into going out to eat, so he wouldn't have to fix a meal for himself. Getting his plate ready, he noticed the light on the answering machine blinking and wondered if he'd forgotten to check for messages yesterday. Calleigh had already called him, so he didn't think any of them were from her, but still, he figured he ought to check.

He hit play. The first message was from his mother. Shaking his head, he groaned as he listened to the familiar voice rambling bits of news about home and giving him grief for not calling more often. There was no question why she was calling the apartment and not his cell phone. Calleigh. That was who she wanted to talk to, not him. He still couldn't figure out how those two had hit it off, they'd never even met and he considered keeping it that way, but his mother was enamored with Calleigh. She was still amazed Tim even had a girlfriend and now kept threatening to visit very soon just so she could meet her. Maybe he'd just have Calleigh call her back, that would please her and then she'd be off his back. There was a pleasant thought. The next message was a reminder for Calleigh about a hair appointment, followed by some friend of hers inviting them to a fund raising dinner he'd just as soon skip. The final message, which had come late that very afternoon, made him put down his dinner plate and walk towards the machine for a closer listen. His brows drew together in bewilderment and he hit play again, skipping over the earlier messages.

_Hi Cal, it's me. I'm sorry I missed your call, I've been out of town a few days, but I'm back in Atlanta now and I can't wait to see you. You've got my number, so I'll just wait to hear from you. It'll be great to see you. Bye._

Now that was a message he certainly wasn't expecting, not that it was meant for him. The male voice on the machine was well spoken and had a strong southern accent, much like Calleigh's. Obviously, he knew her well enough, to not only expect her to recognize his voice, but to call her by the shortened version of her name. The same one Tim thought only he used. So who exactly was this guy who was clearly so excited to see her? And for how long had she been planning to see him? And why did Tim know none of this?

This was crazy. It was just a friend that was all. Tim never cared if she saw friends, even guy friends, or did he? It never came up before, he realized as he rubbed his chin repeatedly. He walked back to the counter where he'd left his half eaten dinner, picked up another forkful of mashed potatoes, stuck it in his mouth and put the fork down again, no longer hungry. He began pacing the small room as he roughly raked his hands through his hair. Something about this, about the way she'd been acting ever since this trip to Atlanta came up just didn't sit well with him. Never telling him about it, not wanting him to accompany her, staying an extra day to see friends and that far away look in her eyes he couldn't help but notice lately. Even the strain between them, well that was due in part to him, he remembered, but still, were all these things somehow tied to that phone call?

He tried to think rationally. Calleigh had lots of friends and plenty of them were guys. She was friendly and flirty, that's just the way she was and he tended to ignore it. It helped that she made it clear that it was Tim she loved, Tim she lived with. There was no need for him to be jumping to ridiculous, unfounded conclusions because of a phone message from an overly friendly guy from Atlanta, even if he was someone she'd be seeing this weekend. Funny, she never mentioned him when she called earlier. She said she was meeting friends for dinner, friends, always plural. Nothing was ever said about going out on a date. Why was he turning this phone message into a date? He was going to make himself crazy if he worried about every little thing. Reading into things would do him no good and overreacting always got him into trouble. Always.

It was late now and as much as he wanted to hear her voice, he didn't want to risk waking her. She said she was tired when he talked to her before he left the lab. He'd simply call her tomorrow and give her the messages. He'd see then that it was nothing. Until then, there was no reason to upset Calleigh with his overactive imagination.

So why was his stomach in knots right now?

TBC


	13. Skewed Perception

Changes in the Wind

Skewed Perception

Why he ever thought tracking down chainsaws purchased in the greater Miami area over the last month was going to be either simple or painless, he couldn't say, because this task was proving to be both time consuming and headache inducing. Like it or not, this was exactly how he was spending his Saturday, because right now, it was the only solid lead they had, which made this task his top priority. If tracking down chainsaws wasn't hard enough, tracking down those paid for in cash was proving next to impossible. So far he'd been able to locate seven thanks to credit card receipts, but all proved clean and not the murder weapon he was looking for. He was still searching for six, having given up, at least for now, on the three paid for with cash. If those six yielded nothing, he would have to go further back into store records and even then, that information only helped if the chainsaw in question was purchased new. If, per chance, it was bought used, borrowed, or stolen, they were really out of luck. Fortunately, the particular model they were looking at had only been on the market a year and a half. That was something in their favor, he thought glumly, as he poured himself a fourth cup of coffee.

Between his current caseload and Calleigh's absence, not to mention the mystery of the phone message, there had been enough on his mind to keep him awake a good portion of the night. There was no question he would soon pay the price for the lack of sleep, he only hoped it wouldn't come to him in the form of another killer headache. Already, he could feel the fatigue clawing at the back of his eyes and the muscles in his neck and shoulders tensing. The chainsaw case in particular was weighing him down and it didn't look as if it would be coming to a tidy conclusion any time soon.

Wincing at the bitter taste of the hot coffee he just gulped, he hoped it would provide him with a much needed jolt of energy. More caffeine probably wasn't the best thing for him, but a nap was out of the question. Nowhere near finished with his current search for the murder weapon, he'd also failed to make a dent in the mound of trash collected at the dump site. Some cigarette butts found at the site had been swabbed for DNA, but gave them no hits off CODIS. That was as far as he'd gotten. Sighing heavily, he leaned against the break room counter and gave up thinking about his case for a moment to contemplate his absent girlfriend instead.

The two had been missing each other on the phone all day. Just another in a series of frustrations handed to him on a shiny silver platter. He tried to reach her first thing in the morning to both, say hello and give her the phone messages, but had to settle for leaving voice mail on her cell. Since he was stuck in interrogation for most of the morning, her return call went straight to his voice mail. Twice more they missed each other and he wondered if he ought to try again now while he had a minute. Checking his watch, he mentally ran her day's schedule through his head. The seminar finished a couple hours ago, which meant she was now on her own and probably reachable. Of course, she could be on a plane heading home to Miami, but she'd chosen to stay in Atlanta, a decision that still rankled him, even though he was trying not to be possessive of her or her time.

Still, something about this Atlanta trip didn't sit well with him. Too many details seemed shrouded in mystery, like her failure to mention the lecture invite in the first place, or the extra day in Atlanta he found out about at the last minute. Then there was her recent state of preoccupation that he found puzzling. Of course, it could all mean nothing and simply be the product of an overactive imagination. He knew that where Calleigh was concerned he had a tendency to throw rational thought right out the window. Ever since that night in the parking lot all those months ago when he'd lost his head and his heart to her, nothing he did or thought surprised him anymore. That was something he was going to have to work on if theirs was to be a successful partnership.

Wandering to the sofa, he sank into the cushions, put his coffee on the table and dialed first her room and then her cell. Leaning back, he closed his eyes and listened to sound of ringing.

"Hello?" A smile crossed his lips upon hearing her familiar southern drawl.

"Hey," he greeted, pleased to have finally reached her. "We keep missing each other."

"Hi. I know. I'm sorry I missed your calls. I did get your messages. Thanks. Did you get mine?"

"Yeah," he answered having difficulty hearing her over the noise in the background. "Where are you? Sounds like you're outside."

"I am. We're waiting for a table. Hang on." He was tempted to ask who the we in that statement was, but thought better of it. If she wanted him to know, she'd tell him. "Better?" she asked after a moment.

"A little. So how'd it go today? Did you impart your vast ballistics expertise to all of the attendees?"

"Yes, I did my best," she answered with a laugh. "Everything went very well, but I'm glad it's over."

"Glad it went well for you, I never doubted your ability to fascinate and educate. Did you get much out of any of the lectures you attended?"

"Hmm, maybe a little. I have some interesting handouts to share with ya'll."

"You about to have dinner now?"

"Yeah. How about you, still as busy?" she asked, sounding distracted.

"Still at it, making no headway," he said with a heavy sigh of frustration. "I'm hoping to get out of here at a reasonable hour, but there's way too much to leave undone till tomorrow. Even if I leave it, it never quite leaves me, ya know what I mean?"

"That's good," she said, although it was hard for him to make out over the din surrounding her.

"Huh?" he asked, curious if he had heard her right.

"What? Oh, sorry. I meant it would be good if you could get out of there sometime. Can you hang on a sec, Tim?" Fine, he grumbled to himself with an exasperated sigh. There were muffled sounds, but he couldn't make out any of what was being said, or who was doing the talking. "I'll be just a minute." He heard that clearly, but didn't think she was talking to him. "I can't really talk now, it's too loud out here and I think our table is ready," she said. This, he assumed was meant for him. Apparently, he wouldn't be learning who her dinner companions for the evening were. He knew she was seeing Liza, a good friend from college she hadn't seen in awhile, but he still didn't know who the guy on the answering machine was, or how many other people she knew in Atlanta.

"Yeah, okay. We can talk later, I don't want to keep you and I have to get back to work. If I ever get out of here tonight, I'm supposed to meet up with Delko, but I won't be staying out late. I'm pretty tired and I've got to be back here early in the morning anyway."

"I've been trying all day to change my flight, but so far I'm not having any luck. But, we'll talk soon, okay?" she continued, though the background noise made it hard to hear very well.

"What? You're changing your flight again?" he asked, wondering what that meant.

"Soon, okay? Bye Tim."

"Yeah, fine. Bye Cal. I love you."

"Bye."

"Yeah, I love you, too, Tim," he said sarcastically to himself, as he stared at the phone in his hand before putting it back on his hip. That was odd, he thought. Somehow, instead of putting his mind at ease, this brief conversation only served to mix him up more than he already was. Rubbing first his eyes and then his temples, he slowly worked himself off the couch, easing the kinks out of his back and neck. Time to trade one frustration for another and get back to work, he mused as he headed to the sink with his coffee cup.

Hours later, engrossed in the duct tape sample he was viewing under the microscope, he never heard Horatio come in. "H. Hey. Didn't know you were there," he said with a yawn he couldn't stifle.

"And I didn't know you were still here, I thought you left awhile ago. Anything I need to know?" Horatio asked.

"Yeah. There's a lot of completely useless trash and junk now taking up space in our lab," Tim answered with aggravation, earning an understanding smile from his boss. "But honestly, I've got nothing. At least nothing that ties anything to anyone in particular. Alexx found some duct tape and tape residue on two different vic's ankles and I can match it to the duct tape samples we found at the scene, but that's as much as we have. I tried fuming all the samples, but haven't gotten a single print. Nothing. Guy must've worn gloves, that's all I can think," Tim said, shaking his head and breathing in deeply, his frustration wafting off him.

"Sounds very likely, but that doesn't mean we aren't going to find him. He's left something of himself somewhere. We haven't found it yet, but we're not through looking, are we?"

"This sample looks ripped off the roll, so, no tool marks to match," he said with a nod towards the microscope. "Same as all the others I've checked. But I still have more trash to sort through, so maybe I'll have better luck with a different piece," he said and although the words were optimistic, his tone told a different story. "I should be done with trash sorting by now, but tracking down all the chainsaws took up a ridiculous amount of time."

"Don't worry about that. Better you do a thorough job, than risk missing something. Eric will be in tomorrow, and I'll be a little more available, so we'll have more hands on this case."

"That'll help," Tim said, sighing loudly. "Have we gotten any information on the third girl yet? Has anyone come forward to claim her?" Horatio shook his head with downcast eyes. "I don't get that. You would think someone might have noticed this girl was missing. She can't be more than nineteen or twenty. I don't understand people," he said with disgust.

"It isn't always easy, is it?"

"No, it isn't and this guy has covered his tracks well. I gotta tell you, I'm not feeling optimistic about any of this stuff we've collected leading us anywhere," Tim said, waving his hand in at the many evidence bags littering the table in front of him.

"Okay, this is what I think. You go home now and come back to this in the morning with a fresh pair eyes," Horatio suggested.

"I don't mind staying with this a bit longer," Tim protested.

"Speed, this isn't a suggestion. You've been at this for three straight days and you look like you could use a break. Tired eyes can lead to mistakes and we wouldn't want that. Everything will still be here tomorrow," Horatio said kindly, but firmly.

"Yeah, okay," Tim agreed reluctantly. As hard as it was to leave knowing he'd made little headway, Horatio was right about fatigue setting in and skewing his perception. Checking his watch, he raised his eyebrows in surprise when he discovered it was already after eight o'clock. Grabbing his cell, he hoped there was still time to catch Delko. A beer was definitely on his horizon, a beer, a decent meal and sleep. If he couldn't have Calleigh with him tonight, then those would have to do.

Fortunately, he caught up with his buddy, who chose a bar with a decent menu that wasn't far from the lab. Tim wrapped up his paperwork quickly, saw the evidence safely put away and left without delay. It was close to nine by the time he met his friend and by that point, he was beyond hungry. Joining Delko at the bar, the two agreed the subject of work was off limits, at least until tomorrow. Tim realized too late, he should've made his love life off limits as well, but knowing Delko as he did, that would've done little to dissuade him. The threesome was close, with Delko spending many evenings and sharing countless meals with the pair, but despite that, he still reveled in giving Tim a hard time whenever he could.

"I'm assuming you've made adequate birthday plans?" Eric asked above the din in the bar, taking Tim out of his head and momentarily away from his chicken fajita. He looked quizzically at his friend, before he figured out where this was going. "Calleigh's birthday, it's in just a few days," Eric continued as if Tim might be unaware of this little detail.

"I realize that. I do know when her birthday is. I got it covered," Tim said between bites.

"Well, after the big Valentine's Day screw-up, I had to make sure. Just watching your back, no need to thank me," Eric told him proudly with a grin.

Tim groaned. Forget one holiday and now he was never going to live it down, at least not with Delko. "Could we just forget Valentine's day? I made up for that, quite nicely as a matter of fact and she forgave me."

"She was too easy on you. I would've made you suffer," Eric taunted.

"You are making me suffer, because you keep bringing it up," Tim replied.

"So, what are the birthday plans?" Eric asked. Tim shot him an aggravated look, but Eric seemed oblivious, now that he was on a roll.

"Do you need to know everything?" Tim questioned, before taking a slug of his beer.

"Yes, I do. She's my friend, too. I need to know you're doing right by her."

"Fine, if you have to know everything, I'm taking her to dinner, I have reservations at her favorite restaurant," Tim answered smugly.

"Have I been there or heard of it?"

"Don't know. It's where we went the first time we went out and she really likes the place. They have excellent desserts and it's right on the water, the two most important details as far as Calleigh is concerned."

"Well, I'll be, there's a romantic hidden under that scruffy, rumpled exterior," Eric laughed. "Who would've thought it?"

"Satisfied?"

"Not quite. What about a gift?"

"I have a nice gift for her and don't bother asking cause I'm not going to tell you what it is."

"Fair enough. What about flowers?"

"Flowers?" Tim asked, giving that one a bit of thought. He had neglected to get her flowers for Valentine's Day and still felt bad about that. Maybe it would be nice to surprise her with flowers on her birthday and maybe Delko wasn't a complete pain in the ass. "Yeah, okay, flowers would be a nice touch," he conceded.

"You're learning Speedle. Someday you may be able to manage without my help," Eric said with mock seriousness.

"Right," Tim replied with a chuckle. "This coming from the guy who can't keep straight which girl he's seeing when." They both laughed at that. Tim was pleased he'd put careful thought into Calleigh's birthday. Disappointing her on Valentine's Day still stung and he didn't want a repeat performance.

The pair finished their meal and for Tim, fatigue set in shortly after the plates were cleared. It had been a long couple of days and he decided to call it a night after Eric took to the dance floor with an attractive blonde, which only served to remind Tim of the blonde he was currently missing.

Once home, he made a beeline for the phone. Examining his watch, he knew he risked waking her at this late hour, but he needed to hear her voice and say goodnight. Things had been strange the past couple weeks, in a way he couldn't quite put his finger on and he knew he'd sleep easier if he talked to her before turning in. He grabbed her hotel phone number off the counter and made his way out to the balcony. It was quiet outside this late at night, and the temperature was mild for a late February night.

Since he'd moved in, he'd grown fond of the balcony porch and took to spending time out there most evenings or mornings or both, either with or without Calleigh. Sometimes he did nothing more than think or watch the traffic pass by, but no matter what he did, he always felt a kind of peace. Wherever they ended up living in the future, he felt fairly certain they would have a little porch.

He dialed and leaned back in the chair, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"Hello?" a male voice with a strong Southern accent whispered from the other end of the phone after two rings.

"Huh? Hello?" Tim questioned, shocked to hear a male voice on the other end of the receiver. Pulling the phone away from his ear, he stared wide-eyed at the number on the screen and then at the number in his hand, certain he had dialed wrong and astonished to see that he hadn't. He brought the phone back to his ear. "Is Calleigh there?"

"She's sound asleep, but I'll be happy to give her a message when she wakes."

Calleigh was asleep. And some strange guy was in her hotel room sounding sleepy himself. Some guy that wasn't Tim, or anyone Tim knew. But it was an awfully familiar voice and one Tim had heard very recently, causing his stomach to knot up in anger and dread. There was no question in his mind that the voice on the other end of the line was the same voice on the answering machine. And he was offering to give her a message when she woke, which meant he planned to be seeing her then.

"That won't be necessary," Tim replied in an even, controlled voice that seemed to come from somewhere outside of himself and operated independently of his brain which was still stuck on stunned.

Methodically he pushed the off button to disconnect them and then flung the phone to the corner, where it landed with a thwack on the cement, hard plastic meeting even harder concrete. Leaning back in the chair, he closed his eyes and tried to turn his mind off.

Everything he thought he knew, he no longer did.

TBC


	14. The View From Here

Changes in the Wind

The View From Here

The cold roused him from his dozing and the shooting pain in his neck when he tried to move finished the job. Grimacing, he eased himself to an upright position and tried to straighten his stiff neck. This would teach him not to fall asleep outside slumped in a hard backed chair, he thought as he kneaded the back of his neck. The mild night air had chilled considerably since he first ventured outdoors. The sky was still pitch black, cluing him in to the fact that it wasn't yet morning. Bending over while trying to keep his neck motionless, he retrieved the phone he had carelessly flung to the ground earlier. He gave it the once over, noticed it was scuffed and cracked, but didn't check to see if it was still functional because he really didn't care. The scarred phone only served to remind him that some guy he didn't know answered Calleigh's hotel room phone tonight and that was something he couldn't forget no matter how hard he tried.

Trudging into the kitchen, he flicked on the light, squinting until his eyes adjusted and then got the coffee maker prepared. Glancing at the clock, he sighed. At three twenty in the morning, it was too early to show up at work, even for him, yet too late to think about going to bed, because now he was keyed up and awake. At least he got a couple hours of shut-eye while he was out on the porch, he thought with a yawn. He'd managed to get by on less in the past and it hadn't killed him, although if he got another one of his raging headaches, that might be enough to do him in. Too restless to watch the coffee perk, he headed to the shower. A glance in the mirror reminded him he was overdue for a shave, but that was another one of those things that fell into the 'I don't care' category.

The steaming hot water felt like heaven on the kinks in his back and neck, but did little to take his mind off Calleigh. The idea of Calleigh sleeping with another guy wasn't something he could easily wrap his brain around, yet there it was, no matter how many times he tried to push it away. It was an indelible image he couldn't shake and one that made him feel physically ill. He stuck his face under the stream of water, maybe that would help, although he seriously doubted it. She loved him; he was certain of that, so why was he letting his mind travel where it had no reason to go? There was absolutely no reason not to trust her. But something was off between them and had been for a couple of weeks. No longer could he pretend he didn't sense the growing discontent in her. Maybe it was nothing more than a rough patch, something that happened to all couples sooner or later, but that wouldn't be enough to send Calleigh to the arms of another guy behind his back, would it?

This was Calleigh, his brain reminded, he _knew_ her. She was the one person he trusted completely. Sure, he trusted Horatio, Delko and Alexx; he'd put his life in their hands without a second thought, but Calleigh, she was different. Calleigh he trusted with his heart and that was a much bigger deal. Nothing was going to convince him that his trust in her was misplaced, even if some guy did answer the phone on the second ring, at midnight, sounding sleepy. She was incapable of the kind of deception and betrayal he was thinking of. There had to be another explanation, but it certainly wasn't coming to him in the shower. He stayed under the stream till the hot water ran out and he had no choice but to face the day and whatever it had in store for him.

Dressed and ready for work, he sat at the little kitchen table, where the two had shared countless meals and stared at the clock. He needed to calculate exactly what time he could show up at work without setting off Horatio's alarm bells. Now there was irony, he snickered. His boss complained about Tim's workaholic tendencies, yet every time he reprimanded Tim for spending too many hours at the lab, he ignored the fact that he, himself, was still hard at work long after he should've left for home. Nursing a second cup of coffee, he tried to focus on his vexing case. He would function better once he got to the lab and all his energies could be concentrated on finding this elusive killer and not figuring out his equally vexing relationship. Just another reminder of how life was simpler before he got involved with Calleigh, he thought wearily.

He crept silently into the trace lab, pleased to find it vacant, since he had no compelling desire to socialize with his nighttime counterpart, even if he was an okay guy. Spreading the evidence bags out in front of him, he spent the next couple hours examining every remaining scrap of trash collected at the junkyard. If determination was a necessary ingredient to solving this case, then he was in luck, because today he was brimming with it.

At first glance, the tape in his gloved hand looked no different than any of the other balled up scraps of gray duct tape he'd spent endless hours processing. But this one was different, because stuck to it was yet another piece of tape. This second piece was different from the rest. Although appearing to have been torn from the roll as the others had been, this piece had only one ragged edge instead of two. This smaller and straighter piece of tape had one end neatly folded over, as if it had once been the end of the roll and the owner wanted to be able to easily lift the tape off of itself. If this were the original end of the roll, then the possibility existed that the end had been folded over at an earlier time, perhaps before the killer donned gloves. Adrenalin coursed through him at the possibility of finding a print safely tucked under that flap. But first, he needed to determine that the tape indeed matched the other pieces found at the scene near and on the body parts. The sticky substance and tape found on the ankles of two of the victims were a match to the other collected duct tape pieces, but a print would give them the break they so desperately needed.

An hour of examining every single piece of tape collected finally gave him the result he was looking for. He could now prove conclusively that this folded over piece came from the same roll as the others and was the first piece ripped off the roll. Now if only the tape held a print. Intent over the microscope he never heard Delko come in.

"Hey, need a hand?"

"Sure," Tim answered, briefly lifting his head.

"You look beat. How long have you been here?" Eric asked after giving his friend an appraising glance.

"Don't know, a little while I guess," Tim answered. Peering at his watch, his eyebrows shot up in surprise when he noticed the time. He hadn't realized how long he'd been at this. The glance at his watch brought another thought to mind. _Why hasn't she called?_ They usually talked to each other several times a day. _Did she get the message I called last night?_ Well, if memory served, he hadn't actually left a message. But still, if this guy was a friend only, then surely he would know all about Tim and would've been able to figure that it was Tim calling at midnight. So it would stand to reason that she knew he called… unless, he wasn't just a friend, in which case he probably wouldn't tell her that Tim called, if he even knew about Tim. This jumble of reason and rationalizing made his brain hurt and his stomach knot up again. A moment passed before he realized Eric was eyeing him strangely and waiting on some kind of a response from him. "Sorry, just thinking," he mumbled, feeling embarrassed to be caught with his head some place else.

"Yeah, I noticed. Where'd you go?"

Tim started to answer, but was stopped by the vibration from his cell phone. _Calleigh_. _About time she called_. Grabbing the phone off his hip, he glanced at the screen and sighed deeply in frustration before answering Horatio's call. He turned his attention back to Eric after putting the phone back. "We caught a break, well, maybe more than one. The third vic just got ID'd and Horatio wants me to go interview the family and see if I can get some sort of profile on her, maybe something that ties the three girls together," he explained. "But I have a key piece of tape that still needs to be fumed. This may hold our only print. See this folded over edge? It's the end piece from the roll," he pointed out.

"Think he folded it over some time before he ever needed to don gloves?" Eric asked.

"It would be helpful if he did. We don't have anything else at this point," Tim answered with pent up aggravation. "Can you take care of this?"

"Yeah, no problem, I'll see what I can get off it. Hope you get something helpful from the family."

"The way things have been going, I'm not feeling optimistic."

The victim's family, still shocked by the news, had no helpful information and offered nothing that might direct them towards a suspect. There was nothing that tied the girls together. Delko, however, did find something useful, a partial print, which now had a face and a name to go with it. Unfortunately, their new suspect was currently in the wind and his last known place of residence had been recently cleaned out. In the wind, Tim mused, much like his relationship.

In the late afternoon, after waiting all day with his stomach twisted, he finally heard from Calleigh, but the two hadn't yet spoken. The call had gone directly to his voice mail since he was tied up in the interview. He briefly considered returning her call when he got back to the lab, but changed his mind. His emotions were too close to the surface to risk letting them out over the phone. This wasn't a situation he could easily figure out and it was tying him up in knots. No matter how many times or different ways he looked at it, the view didn't get any better.

He could only stay at work for so long, which was why he now found himself in the hallway attempting to prepare for the worst, while hoping for the best. Standing at the door, with his key poised at the lock, he stopped short of insertion. This was just too hard. If only he didn't know what it felt like to be betrayed in this manner, then it would be a lot easier to assume there was a reasonable explanation. It might have happened years ago, but the feeling was one that clung long after the incident was but a memory. And that time, it wasn't even someone he was in love with, just someone he was dating, but hurt was hurt, all the same.

The only way he would be able to put his mind at ease was to learn the truth, but as badly as he needed the truth, it wasn't something he was anxious to hear. He was mentally and physically exhausted and the tight rein he'd held on his emotions all day was slipping fast. What he really wanted was to walk inside and take her into his arms. For the last three days, missing her had been a constant, but the nagging doubt that had been gnawing away at his insides ever since he dialed her room last night, wouldn't let him. Breathing in deeply, he exhaled slowly. Whatever the truth, it would come out tonight and he knew all he had to do was look deep in her eyes to see it.

Presumably waiting in the living room, she was on her feet and heading to the door as soon as he turned the key in the lock. Looking up, he met her cautious gaze as she padded over to him.

"Hi," she said, moving closer, "I've been trying to reach you since I got in. Did you get my messages?" Studying his face, she stopped short of embracing him.

"Yeah. I was busy," he said in a monotone. He kept his gaze on her, but made no motion to close the distance between them.

"I'm glad you're home," she said, but to his ears she sounded unsure. That uncertainty was present not only in her voice, but had flashed across her eyes as well, and in that moment, his deeply held belief in her lost its battle with suspicion. As they stood an arm's length from each other, he could only wonder in perplexity how they had gotten to that point. "What is it?" she asked, breaking his concentration. "Is something wrong? Did something happen at work?"

"This isn't about work Calleigh," he answered in a low, rough voice. Barely inside the doorframe, he stayed where he was, kicked the door closed behind him and rested against it with his hands firmly shoved in his pockets.

Taking a step towards him, she motioned towards the couch. "Do you want to sit and we can talk? There are some things I want to talk to you about," she said very gingerly. Her expression, though gave nothing away. She could have the weather in Atlanta on her mind for all he knew.

"No," he said firmly, his jaw tightening. Walking away from the door and her scrutinizing gaze, he stubbornly refused to go anywhere near the couch. He stopped a few feet from where he had started from and turned to her again. "Just tell me what it is you've been keeping from me. The truth Calleigh."

"Well, I will talk to you, but first, I'd like to know why you're so upset and why you'd think I'd tell you anything but the truth, because I'm not following at all," she responded with carefully measured words. There was a strength and control in her that he found it quite admirable, that is, when it wasn't being used against him and driving him crazy.

"Yeah? And I wish the hell you'd tell me what the hell went on in Atlanta," he returned, feeling his own slight control giving way.

His eyes darted about the room in frustration and landed on the coffee table in front of the sofa. His previously spread out collection of journals, papers and notes were now neatly piled next to his laptop. If he looked closer, he knew he would find them piled in the precise order in which they were previously splayed out. Calleigh craved, no, required order and more than that, needed to see it, even on the smallest plane, to know it existed. For Tim, order existed in his head only. That's where he needed it, that's where he kept it. But outside of his head, he was often oblivious to the disarray, unlike Calleigh who could be found straightening his disorder into neat piles, so that the two of them could live in harmony. She needed the tidy display, but she put up with his disarray because maybe she needed him as well. At least that's what he used to think.

About to throw their nicely balanced life into complete chaos, he couldn't stop himself if he tried, because too many conflicting thoughts were spinning in his head at once. What he was thinking went against everything he believed about her, but her recent confusing behavior played upon his long held insecurities and the end result was enough doubt to cloud his judgment.

"This isn't getting us anywhere. Please, can we just sit?" she said. Her voice wavered and for a second, he saw her control had slipped, although she was still doing her best to keep her emotions off her face.

"I know you've been keeping something from me," he shouted. Tired of wondering and right now, tired of asking, the words came out louder and harsher than he intended.

"You don't need to shout Tim. I'm standing right here," she gave back without raising her voice and he could see her control firmly back in place. She walked over to the couch and glanced back in his direction. As if changing her mind, she didn't sit, instead stood and turned back to face him.

"Things just haven't been right, even when I thought we were back on track, your head, it's somewhere else," he said, unable to keep still and began pacing in the small room again. He heard her heavy sigh, momentarily stopped his pacing and looked in her direction.

She sat stiffly on the edge of the sofa, with her head lowered. "It was hard to talk to you about something I didn't understand, but I can see I should've at least tried. I had been having some reservations," she began only to be interrupted.

"That's just perfect," he sniped. "You have doubts about me, about our relationship, so you take them to Atlanta? To what, forget about them with an old friend?" he spat with distaste.

"What?" she asked, her voice an octave higher. "Is that what you think? Why would you think such a thing?" He didn't answer, instead clenched his mouth tightly and shoved his fists in his pockets. Glancing in her direction, he could see the wheels turning as she processed this new information and he could see her expression change from bewilderment to understanding. "Is this about the message from Michael?" she asked, sounding relieved as if this answered everything.

_Michael? Why do I know that name?_ The recognition came to him at the same time she began to speak and he could feel his stomach turn inside out. Michael, her ex, her one previous long-term relationship before Tim and the one she walked away from when it got too serious. Tim knew all about Michael, except the fact that he lived in Atlanta.

"Yes, we saw each other," she said softly. "Not the way maybe you think. It wasn't like that. This was about the way I left things a long time ago and why. It's complicated," she began, moving off the couch.

"Our relationship isn't working, so you run to your ex?" he asked, not letting her finish. "Oh, that's rich. Nice of you to let me know." Walking over to the glass door behind the couch, he stopped and looked out at the small balcony he loved. It was dark and the stars could be clearly seen. If he sat out there letting the sounds of the traffic dull the noise in his head would this make any more sense, he wondered? The sound of her voice, indignant, but very much in control, pulled him from his head and ignited his fuse. He jerked around to face her, but had a hard time meeting her eyes.

"I'll talk to you Tim, but I won't do this with you. You're looking for a fight, and there's no need for that," she said, squaring off against him. "You're not listening to anything I say. This isn't about you and it's not about us, not the way you seem to think it is, but you're not giving me a chance to explain."

"The truth Calleigh," he demanded, raking his hands through his hair, unable to keep his body still.

She tried reasoning once more. "I'm not doing this with you. If we could just sit a minute and catch our breath, then maybe we can sort this out, because this isn't getting us anywhere."

"Fuck it Calleigh. We are nowhere right now," he said unable to contain his anger. She visibly flinched at his outburst. "How about the truth?" Without waiting for an answer, he continued. "I called your room last night. Late last night," he told her as he moved towards the front of the couch where she stood motionless.

"When?" she asked, looking more confused than anything else.

"It was around midnight," he said, restlessly shifting his weight back and forth.

"I never heard the phone. I fell asleep sometime before that. We all came back to the room to talk some more, I had had a couple of drinks, one with dinner and one after and they were much stronger than I was used to…" She was still talking but he wasn't listening.

"It wasn't you that answered the phone Calleigh," he shouted, causing her to abruptly stop talking and look up at him.

"I'm not following," she said hesitantly, blinking with bafflement.

"But I recognized the voice, it was the same one as on the answering machine. What?" he asked, dripping with sarcasm. "He didn't tell you I called when he woke you this morning? Can't imagine why," he said with disgust, staring back at her with cold eyes. "I'll be happy to give her a message when she wakes. Those were his exact words, believe me I couldn't forget them if I tried."

Her mouth dropped open and she stared wide-eyed at him. "Michael said that?" she asked, looking stunned. "I had no idea, I was asleep," she repeated, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Yeah," he snarled. "I know how you fall asleep after making love Calleigh, I'm one of the guys sleeping with you, remember?" he asked, firing each word with maximum intensity and aiming to hurt.

The moment the words left his mouth, regret coursed through him. He drew in a sharp breath that caught in his throat. No longer filled with the toxic mixture of confusion, doubt, anger and hurt, he was able to see clearly what he had done and the cruelty of his words shocked him. The color drained from her cheeks before his eyes. She said nothing, but took a step back as if she'd been struck, which he'd essentially done with each syllable he'd hurled at her.

During the interminable silence that followed, he couldn't take his eyes off her as she absorbed the harsh meaning behind his words. Pain filled green eyes stared back at him until he could no longer look. He dropped his head in shame, his guilt taking the place of his vented anger. He'd accused her of betrayal, the one thing he knew she was incapable of, yet when the time came to put his faith in her and in the strength of their relationship, he couldn't do it. He'd hurt her and there was nothing he could do now to take that back.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should never have said that," he said in a tired voice that was full of defeat. She didn't respond, nor did he expect her to, her silence spoke for her. What surprised him was that she did nothing to hide her pain and disappointment, her pretense of control was completely gone. He looked up from beneath his lashes to see her tear filled eyes on full display, and nothing could have prepared him for how deeply that cut through him. "I should go."

"I think that would be best," she said so softly he couldn't be certain if she had really spoken or if he had simply imagined it.

Turning on his heel, he walked to the door, felt for his keys in his pants pocket and let himself out without a word. Once outside, the chill of the night air surprised him and he shivered, grateful he still had his jacket on. He swallowed hard, wondering where exactly he was supposed to go now. Turning back towards the building, he glanced up in the direction of the apartment, his eyes landing on the little porch that looked out at the ocean if you craned your neck and peered off into the distance. He loved that little porch, loved the home he'd just walked out of, loved the woman he shared that home with.

Now… nothing. A few choice words, along with a heaping dose of self-destruction and he'd hurt her deeply, not to mention ruined their relationship with the same strike. Weary, he sighed heavily and he looked up one more time. It didn't matter anymore where he ended up because the view would never be the same.

TBC


	15. To What End

Changes in the Wind

To What End

A different parking lot, a different beach, a different time and he was forever changed. But the circumstances were entirely different on that night when he found himself straddling his bike, close enough to hear the waves, unwilling to stay, yet unable to go.

Wanting only to mount the bike and disappear, he's not sure why he's ended up at the beach tonight, but somehow it seems fitting. Straddling his bike, he's close enough to hear the waves, unwilling to leave, yet unable to stay. His goal may have been to put distance between them, but he managed to end up in the one place that will be forever imprinted with her and maybe that was what he wanted all along.

Leave the beach, leave the memories behind; sounds so simple, and it should be, he doesn't even like the beach that much, all that sand getting everywhere is a nuisance. He only ever went to the beach because of Calleigh, and for her he'd go anywhere. She never even had to ask, she'd just get that look in her eyes and smile, that's all it took. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her, nothing he wouldn't give her, except the one thing she needed from him, the one thing she should've been able to take for granted, and he let her down. For that he can't forgive himself and neither should she.

To make matters worse, not only did he fail to trust her, he'd also lost his temper, something he wasn't proud of. His words had been cruel and delivered with intention to hurt. Shamefully, he dropped his head and slumped further over the bike, feeling the weight of his mistakes square on his shoulders. He wasn't sure which was worse, but the look in her eyes wasn't an image he'd let go of any time soon. What she ever saw in him in the first place was a mystery, but clearly she deserved someone who would treat her with the trust and decency she deserved.

The wind coming off the water was icy and he shivered in his lightweight jacket. Absently, he drew his arms around his chest. The weather tonight called for a heavier jacket and a pair of gloves if he was going to be out on the bike for long, but his abrupt departure eliminated any forethought of temperature considerations. Now his outer self felt as cold and raw as his hollowed out insides did. There were a raft of emotions hitting him from all directions, but the stab of guilt cut deeper and featured more prominently.

Looking off towards the horizon, his thoughts turned back to Calleigh and that night he hesitantly joined her on the beach. It was nothing he planned and nothing he wanted. It wasn't his job to keep her company or to protect her if she wanted to walk alone on the beach at night, and he resented feeling as if he should, but what he truly resented was how she had gotten under his skin in such a short time. In his mind's eye, he could still see her, tiny and ethereal, all that golden hair swaying in the breeze as she ambled along the shore. Under his skin and into his heart, he'd fallen in love with her that night before the thought ever crossed his mind. How he felt now, though, was of no importance, he'd brought his anguish on himself; her feelings were all that mattered. Revving the engine, he took off without a backward glance, his beach days but a memory.

Standing in front of the door, he debated a moment using his key, but decided under the circumstances he ought to knock rather than let himself in. He rapped softly and heard her footfall almost immediately.

"Tim." Swallowing hard, he didn't know what to make of the surprise on her face as she stood staring from the behind the partly opened door. Was it surprise that he dare come back or surprise he knocked instead of using his key? "You don't have your key?" she asked, still looking at him wide-eyed.

"Can I come in?" he asked quietly. She dropped her head slightly as she nodded. Taking a deep breath, he stepped into the living room, but remained close to the door. "Are you okay?" he asked. Again, a nod was the response, but her red, puffy eyes told their own story. "What I said to you was…" he stopped and tried searching for the right word. "Cruel. Cruel and unfounded, and I don't know what's wrong with me that I would say such a thing to you. I am so sorry. I know you, Calleigh, I know the person you are and I know…" he hesitated, lowered his eyes and took another breath before continuing, "that you aren't capable of something like that. I know it, I always did, but I, I didn't trust you when I should've. I'm so sorry."

"Tim, I never would do such a thing and certainly never to you. I don't know how you could think that I would," she said in a choked voice.

"I know that Calleigh. Whatever was going on between us, I never should've doubted you."

"But you did," she said with a sadness that resonated deep within him.

"I know," he said, shaking his head, "I let you down. I shouldn't have accused you," he continued, unable to meet her teary eyes, not wanting to see the distress reflected in them. "Calleigh, whatever you take away from our time together, I need you to know that deep down, I knew it wasn't true. I knew that you wouldn't. That, and that I love you. That could never change. I'm so sorry about everything. The silence between them lengthened and his discomfort grew as neither made a move or even looked up at the other. "I should probably go now."

"Wait," she said, reaching a hand out and resting it lightly on his arm. "What are you saying? Are you just leaving?" she asked confused, her voice an octave higher. "You don't think we should talk?"

"Right now, I don't know what else to say," he said, shifting his weight restlessly.

"So you're just going to walk out? Again?" she asked, unable to hide her disbelief. He didn't answer. He didn't know how to answer. How could he stay when he hadn't trusted her the one time he should've? What did that say about him, about their relationship? Confusing thoughts ran rampant in his head because nothing was clear anymore. Where he needed order, there was none. "Then I guess there's no need for me to be standing here any longer," she said, her voice bitter and tinged with defiance. She turned on her heel and walked out of the living room without a backwards glance. Apparently, if he were going to walk out on her, she wasn't going to be around to witness it. To that end, he really couldn't blame her.

Numb from the cold and the reality of walking out on her twice in one evening, the drive to his former apartment was mercifully quick, helped along by the fact that he violated every posted speed limit along the way. The Ducati did nothing to protect him from the biting wind, but could always be counted on to get him where he needed to go in a hurry.

Fumbling for his keys, he finally managed to insert the correct one into his lock and enter the chilly, dark and lifeless apartment he vacated two months earlier. Grateful the landlord insisted the electricity remain on, he flicked the light switch and made his way over to the thermostat. It was colder inside than it was outside, but that may have been more a state of mind than an actuality.

Aside of his desk, all of his furniture was exactly where he left it, but the place was devoid of almost all of his personal effects. Sighing heavily, he wandered aimlessly around the apartment, not certain what he was looking for. An empty spot in the media center reminded him the stereo was at Calleigh's. The television was still here, but the cable had been disconnected when he moved out. That realization caused another prolonged sigh as he pondered how long before he could get hooked back up. Did that mean this was a permanent move?

Finding himself in his bedroom, he rested on the edge of the bed. He hadn't thought that far ahead, hadn't thought this through at all. His laptop and his computer were both at Calleigh's, along with almost all of his clothing, which would make dressing, not to mention showering, a challenging endeavor in the morning. This wasn't his home anymore. It wasn't his mailing address and it wasn't where he belonged, but it was where he currently found himself. Lying down on the bed, he didn't even bother removing his jacket or kicking off his boots. Loneliness settled over him as he closed his weary eyes and hoped something closely resembling sleep would soon claim him.

His sleep was restless, with dreams of endless walking through a desert, which probably had something to do with turning the heat up in the apartment and falling asleep fully clothed, wearing a jacket. Waking before the alarm, a fortunate turn of events since there wasn't one to set, two thoughts greeted him: Calleigh and coffee. One he'd have to do without till he could grab a cup on the way to work and the other, he had no idea how to do without. Rubbing his face with his hands, he put those thoughts out of his mind for there were more pressing matters to contend with, namely, a shower and shave.

Rummaging in the boxes set aside for the needy, he found a towel and his old electric razor, along with a shabby, striped button down shirt. It was clean; it would have to do. Now, if he were so lucky to find an old bar of soap left in the shower, he'd be thrilled.

Showered, dressed and ready for work, he grabbed his keys, locking the door behind him. Like it or not, this was home again, but was he here to stay?

He goal was to sneak into the trace lab, hoping to avoid any prying eyes that would pick up on his current state of distress, but Horatio called everyone into the layout room for a meeting, thus eliminating that possibility. His stomach clenched at the thought of facing Calleigh so soon after their abrupt separation, however, any tension he anticipated between them was nonexistent. The tension instead was located firmly between his shoulder blades. Exchanging passive greetings, Tim saw on Calleigh the same look of weary sadness that he also wore. Neither said a word to the others about their strained relationship, but the concerned and sympathetic looks he received for the rest of the day told him their secret was out.

It was late in the afternoon before he chanced her alone in the hallway. "Hi," he said very softly, barely meeting her eyes.

"Hi," she returned passively, forgoing any pretense of delight at their chance meeting.

"You okay?" he asked, looking at her warily.

"Fine," she answered brusquely. "Are you?" she asked after a pause, keeping her eyes on him.

His response required no thought. He shook his head. "No, not really." He heard her sigh, but didn't stick around for any more conversation. "I'll see you later."

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Partnered with Horatio, the two worked a car bombing in a high school parking lot. Their suspect in the chainsaw murders remained at large, which only served to increase Tim's now constant state of frustration with both his job and his life. He managed to avoid further encounters with Calleigh or unnecessary conversations about his love life with anyone, quite possibly the day's only bright spots. Relaxing on his comfortable couch and putting this day behind him were his only objectives for the evening, but a trip to the grocery store was unavoidable, given his empty fridge and pantry. When he finally made it back to his apartment at the end of a long day, he was armed with beer, instant coffee and take out, all the bachelor necessities, at least the ones he could easily fit in a backpack.

With no television, computer or stereo to keep him occupied, he was stuck with some journals he borrowed from the lab. Although not the optimal way to spend the evening, it wouldn't hurt to catch up on his reading and would probably go a long way towards putting him to sleep. As predicted, it wasn't long before his eyelids grew heavy, fatigue winning out over the dry forensics journals. The sound of persistent knocking startled him awake. It was a moment before he realized someone was at his door. There was only one person who would know to find him there and his stomach dipped at the thought of seeing her.

She hesitated a moment, uncertainty clouding her usual sunny expression, before offering him a weak smile and a greeting. "Hi."

"Hey," he said, stepping out of the way to let her in.

"I knew you left work, but you didn't come home and you haven't answered your phone. I figured you were here," she said as she walked into the room. "I brought you some things I thought you might need," she explained, her voice emotionless. She handed him a duffle bag he didn't recognize and gently dropped his laptop on the closest chair. "A clean shirt, so you don't have to rummage through your cast offs again tomorrow and some other necessities," she continued, having accurately read his confused expression, something she seemed to have a gift for.

"Thanks. You really didn't have to do that, but thank you. I shut the phone off when I left work, sorry." An awkward silence filled the air while his eyes darted around the room and he tried his best to ignore the bag in his hand. "You want something to drink? I have beer and water," he said, shifting his weight uncomfortably.

"No thanks," she said, shaking her head. "I wondered if maybe we could talk."

"Sure," he said and let out the breath he was holding. "Sit?" he asked motioning to the sofa. He followed her, dropping the bag to the floor and waiting till she was seated before taking the chair across from her. He didn't trust himself to sit any closer.

"I owe you an explanation," she hesitated, dropping her eyes, "about Atlanta."

"Yeah," he said, tensing at the memory. Atlanta, a city he hoped never to visit.

"That trip wasn't something I sought out, but when the opportunity fell in my lap, I didn't think twice, for professional reasons. As it got closer to the date, it felt more and more like a good time to take a couple days away. There were things on my mind and I thought the time away would help me sort through them. I wasn't trying to keep things from you Tim," she began, looking up from underneath her lashes, "but it's hard to explain something you don't understand yourself."

"You could've tried."

"You're right, and I should have. Can you let me try now?" She asked with such heartbreaking sincerity, he couldn't have denied her even if he wanted to and he nodded for her to continue. "But first, about that night and the phone call. I spoke with Liza, because I couldn't understand why Michael would say what he did to you on the phone. We had no plans to see each other in the morning, or any other time. In fact, I had been trying all day to get an earlier flight out of Atlanta. I don't know why he didn't wake me when you called. If Liza had still been in the room, she would've." She paused in her rambling then, as if still muddled by the turn of events. "The four of us went to dinner as planned, Liza, her sister Caroline, Michael and I. It was still early when we finished, so we decided to go to a bar near my hotel for a drink. The three of them wanted to go to another club, but I was tired, so I suggested going back to my hotel, because it had a little sitting area. That way we could keep visiting, or so I thought, but the drink I had at the bar was just too much for me on top of the one I had at dinner and I fell asleep shortly after we got to the room," she explained, sounding and looking embarrassed. "I fell asleep on the edge of the bed. Apparently, Liza tried to wake me, but I didn't budge, so she just decided to let me sleep. She set my alarm and covered me up. I never even got undressed. After that, they decided to call it a night as well. She and Caroline went down to the lobby to wait for Michael while he finished up a call on his cell phone. It wasn't more than five minutes before he joined them and he said nothing to them about you calling. They gave him a ride back to his car and that was it." She stopped to take a breath. While she had been talking she kept her eyes downcast, but now she transferred her gaze to him. "You called while he was still in my room. I never heard the phone and I never knew you called. That's the truth."

She looked at him with such sorrow and regret that it would have broken his heart if he hadn't already taken care of that himself. It had all been a misunderstanding. If only he had given her the benefit of the doubt, believed in her as he should have and not accused her something he knew she wasn't capable of, then neither would be as miserable as they plainly were, but he hadn't and he couldn't take it back. Lost in his own haze of regret, it took him a moment to realize she was talking again.

"Tim, I would never cheat. It was never even a consideration. I could never do something like that to you."

He swallowed hard, knowing there was little he could say. "I know that Calleigh and I'm sorry, truly sorry."

"But I understand now why you reacted the way you did. If I had called your hotel room late at night and some woman I didn't know answered, I may have thought the same thing and reacted the same way," she said, keeping her eyes locked on his.

"No Cal, you wouldn't have. You would've waited for an explanation," he said honestly.

"Well, we don't know how I would've reacted, because thankfully, you never put me in such a position. But I did and Tim, I'm so sorry," she said as her eyes brimmed with tears.

"You have nothing to apologize for. I shouldn't have doubted you," he said shaking his head. "And I shouldn't have accused you the way I did."

"But I think I put those doubts in your head," she said very softly. "I think you were just reacting to a perceived change in me. I was preoccupied before I left and I guess you knew that." It was a statement, but there was enough of a question in her eyes, that he answered anyway.

"Yeah, I knew you were someplace else in your head and I didn't know why. I thought we were okay."

"Things were okay."

"But they weren't, not really…" he said, letting his voice trail off.

"Everything was fine, but in the back of my mind, I started having these niggling doubts," she said, her eyes imploring his. "But not about you. This was never about you or how I feel about you, but about me. Relationships don't come easy to me, they never have. I've almost always walked away before anything or anyone got too serious," she said sadly.

"But Calleigh, we were living together, if that wasn't serious, I don't know what is. What are you trying to say here, that it was a mistake?" he asked, trying vainly to rein in his frustration.

"No, not at all. You aren't a mistake and neither is our relationship." Her words sounded certain, but he noticed she kept changing position on the couch, like she just couldn't find which suited her. Calleigh, who could sit quietly for hours studying bullet comparisons, couldn't seem to sit still today. A clear sign that all was still not right with her. "Things have always been different with you. From the beginning I felt different and I sensed that you did, too. That's why I never expected the doubts I've always had in the past, the ones that make me question my ability to give myself freely to a relationship, to crop up with you They make me want to freeze up and pull back when I feel myself starting to lose control."

"I had no idea what was going on with you, except that everything I did seemed to be the wrong thing. Maybe I just didn't see it because I didn't want to. You weren't supposed to be the one with doubts. You were the one who waited for me, who pushed us forward and who stuck around when I didn't know what I was doing, which turned out to be most of the time." That remark earned him the first genuine smile he had seen from her all day. It was nice to see, but probably short-lived. "I thought you were happy with me, with our relationship, but you went to Atlanta full of doubts, none of which you shared with me and looked up your old boyfriend. I don't get that Calleigh, I really don't understand what you were looking for."

"Michael and I dated for quite awhile when I lived in New Orleans, although it wasn't that serious until the last few months of our relationship. Once it got serious, the same thing happened that had always happened in the past, I pulled back. I never really understood why. I thought I loved him, I really did, so I just assumed it must be me, my inability to keep a relationship going. No other relationship after Michael was serious or lasted, not until you." She spoke very quietly as she sat with one leg tucked underneath her, the other swinging back and forth. Its constant motion provided him with something to focus on while he listened.

"And what does this have to do with us? Did you want out of our relationship and couldn't tell me?"

"No, not at all. But I started to worry there was something wrong with me when all my old fears about commitment and how people can hurt each other cropped up when I was happily committed in a relationship with you."

"Cal, I understand what scares you, I know what you grew up with." That she came with baggage was an understatement. He knew all about her sometimes crazy alcoholic mother and her sometimes violent alcoholic father and the emotional damage inflicted on her growing up in that environment. She had always been open and honest with him, had always trusted him; at least she had in the past, until now. "But what I don't understand, is why you didn't come to me when this started bothering you. Couldn't we have worked it out? What does it say about us when we can't talk to each other?"

"We can talk to each other, Tim. We're talking now."

"Yeah, a lot of good that does now. We couldn't talk to each other when we needed to. And I'm sorry, but I still don't understand why you had to see him," he admitted, unable to mask his jealousy.

"I guess I thought that looking at my past might help me avoid the same mistakes. The trip to Atlanta provided that opportunity and I decided to take advantage of it. But I never planned to see him alone Tim. It wasn't like that. Liza was always with us."

"I'm trying Calleigh, I want to understand, but I'm having a hard time."

"I always believed my relationship with Michael ended because of me, my failings, and it did, but not for the reasons I believed. It ended because he wasn't who I wanted to be with, I could see that now. It wasn't that I was incapable of a serious relationship, but that I didn't want one with him. I was never truly in love with him. I blamed myself for that failure for all the wrong reasons. Finding that out was freeing. I knew then that our relationship could follow its own course. I was no longer going to be burdened with my past."

"I don't know Calleigh, I'm glad seeing your ex helped you in some way that I obviously couldn't, but I don't know what that says about us." He couldn't help feeling hurt that she kept this from him. But hadn't he done the same thing in reverse?

"It wasn't that you couldn't, but a lot of things weren't clear to me till I stepped away from them. I was too close to you. I needed to be able to see things from a different perspective, but I didn't understand that at the time." Sitting now on the edge of the couch, she was leaning forward, elbows on her knees, extending herself to him at the same time he had pulled back into his chair.

"I had no idea," he said, shaking his head, never finishing his thought.

"Going to Atlanta was never about getting away from you, I have always been clear about how I feel about you and what I want, but there were some things I needed to figure out about myself. I wasn't trying to keep you in the dark."

"But you did just the same. I would've understood if you had given me a chance." He shook his head regretfully. Would he, he wondered? He didn't know, but he'd like to think he would. "I should've tried to talk to you, instead of hoping what was bothering you would just disappear."

"I wasn't ready to then. I think I would've just pushed you away until I was ready." A silence enveloped them as they retreated into their own thoughts. She broke the silence first in a soft voice that seemed to come from a long way off. "When I spoke with you on Saturday, all I wanted was to come home. I tried to get on an earlier flight. I was going to explain everything about how I was feeling when I got back from Atlanta…" Her voice trailed off, probably as she remembered their ugly confrontation instead. "I'm sorry Tim, I never meant to hurt you. I just thought I could handle this myself. I really believed we would be okay."

"It's not just you Cal, I knew something was going on with you and I never asked. I guess I just didn't want to know that you were unhappy."

"Tim, I'm not unhappy. I mean, I wasn't unhappy. I didn't want to let my doubts stop me from being happy." As she attempted to convince him of her happiness, she was on the verge of tears, an irony that wasn't lost on him. Their inability to talk to each other had hurt them both and it wasn't the first time, but it should be the last. Hurting her was the last thing he ever wanted and now, filled with a mixture of sadness and panic, his only desire is that it never happens again.

He got up off the chair and joined her on the couch. "I love you Calleigh," he said softly. "Those words meant nothing before you."

She looked up from beneath her lashes and he could see her eyes were filled with unshed tears. "I love you, too, Tim."

Sitting close enough to smell the familiar floral fragrance, he closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. The scent of her unleashed a flood of overwhelming memories and he could almost feel her warm, smooth body beneath his. But a heartbeat away from laying claim to her, he got up, choosing instead to stand stiffly in front of where she sat. It would be to easy to end this right here and now by taking her into his arms, but it wouldn't reverse any of the damage they had done to each other.

"We tried, Calleigh, we both did. Maybe it's time to call it quits, while we still have feelings for each other, before we ruin whatever it is we have left between us," he said with rising discomfort, restlessly shifting his weight back and forth and having difficulty meeting her eyes.

Gracefully she moved off the couch and stood just in front of him, tipping her head to his, and waiting until she caught his gaze before she spoke. "And maybe we're not done trying. Maybe we need to see this through, to wherever it takes us, because we love each other."

Eyes locked, they stood in trancelike silence, so close that with the slightest forward motion his mouth would be on top of hers, savoring the soft fullness of her lips. He blinked and in that instant the spell was broken. She stepped back from him, looking uncertain, her eyes filled with questions to which he had no answers. Grabbing her purse, she was by the door and halfway out before she spoke. "Goodnight Tim." He opened his mouth but the door closed before anything came out.

**_Maybe we quit trying, maybe we keep trying._** Each had suggested the opposite of the other. Essentially, they had canceled each other out. Where exactly did that leave them?

TBC


	16. Lost Without a Map

Changes in the Wind

Lost Without a Map

This was a sorry state of affairs, he thought to himself as he sat quietly at the table pondering the debris littered kitchen while he finished his morning coffee, and one that would have to be addressed very soon. Take out containers and newspapers cluttered the counter reminding him he needed to pick up some garbage bags. He had to face the facts, he had essentially moved out of this apartment, but was back here living, or at least he had been for the last three nights. That none of his personal effects were here was beginning to pose a serious problem. Anything of importance was still at Calleigh's. Then there was the question of his empty pantry, how long was he planning to live off crappy take-out? Even the fridge was a sorry state of affairs, its sole occupant being a six-pack of beer which now numbered: one.

And forget about his sorry state of appearance, he was a lost cause in that department. Rubbing his stubbled cheeks, he recollected exactly why he was getting rid of that old electric razor, it only worked part of the time and then when it did, the results were decidedly uneven. He had no comb or brush, Calleigh had neglected to pack those, forcing him to rely on his fingers, which was what he did most of the time anyway, but using bar soap in place of shampoo had made his hair more unruly than ever. Forced to search through the cast off box for something to wear, he had to acknowledge that he had come to the end of the line. Wearing an old, long sleeved purple T-shirt that had seen better days, he was looking less like a professional and more like an out of work cast off of society.

His eyes, though, that's what stood out when he glanced in the mirror this morning. The overall disheveled appearance went far in detailing his current predicament and his eyes filled in the rest. Dark shadows rimmed reddened, dull eyes, the physical evidence of his restless nights. The lack of decent sleep, compounded by a constant throb of loneness he couldn't shake, left him looking as miserable as he felt.

Used to regular bouts of insomnia, he could survive a few nights of poor sleep with hopefully, nothing worse to show for it than a really bad headache and deep, dark shadows under his eyes. But this profound loneliness was something different all together. Always somewhat of a loner in the past, this was not a state he was accustomed to. In just a few months, she had integrated herself into every aspect of his life until he could no longer remember a time when she wasn't there, and… he liked it. Not only did he like it, he'd come to depend on it, the one thing he swore he'd never let happen. All in all, the very thought that this separation was permanent was too difficult for him to wrap his brain around, so he tried his best not to think about it.

But they were separated and he couldn't get away from that reality, no matter how hard he tried to ignore it. It was for the best, or at least that's what he reminded himself endlessly. Wincing at the taste of the instant coffee, he put the mug down with a resigned sigh. Even the coffee tasted lousy this morning, successfully putting the cap on his overall lousy mood.

This wasn't just a simple misunderstanding, a difference of opinion, or even a fight; this was more a complete breakdown in communication, made worse by a lack of trust. They weren't enduring a spell of not speaking while they each cooled off, and he hadn't gotten kicked to the couch because he pissed her off, as Delko once quipped. His life would be so much more bearable if only it were that simple. No, this was far more serious.

He had walked out on her. For Calleigh, he was another in a string of those she counted on who let her down. Not the man he believed she was worthy of, he couldn't forgive himself for doubting her, or for leaving the way he had. And those were only the most recent in his long line of relationship shortcomings. Was being able to trust and deserving that trust in return, too lofty a goal for him, he wondered? Sighing heavily, he walked to the sink, dumped the remaining coffee and rinsed out his cup. There was no dish soap, so rinsing was the best he could do. If he were at Calleigh's, they'd be having breakfast right about now, he realized after a glance at his watch, but he wasn't there and he wasn't hungry, so it didn't matter.

Calleigh, on the other hand, appeared to be faring far better than he was since their break-up. From what little he saw of her, she seemed fine, or at least that's what she wanted everyone to think. Guarded to a fault when she wanted to be, he couldn't be certain if she were fine or just pretending to be. Quieter and less cheerful than they were all accustomed to, her solemn demeanor could easily be the result of a stressful caseload, rather than a broken heart. Except he did know better, he knew how hurt she was, which only succeeded in making him feel worse than he already did.

They saw each other in passing at work, but hadn't spoken more than a half dozen words. Yesterday they skirted around each other, which was a polite way of saying they were outright avoiding each other. And she didn't show up at his door with clean clothes for the morning, as she had the night before, not that he expected her to, but still, he hoped. The thought of which just made his heart ache. Only Calleigh could be as angry and hurt as she was and still put his needs first. And who was putting her needs first? Not him. Lately, he did nothing but fall short in that department.

_Today is her birthday_. That thought had been on his mind since he first opened his eyes this morning. This was not how her day was supposed to start out. His spirits sank even lower as he recalled the special plans he'd made to celebrate this day, and waking up in separate bedrooms was not what he'd had in mind. So much for making love and breakfast in bed, he sadly mused. Hopefully she made some plans of her own, she deserved a nice day. Which brought to mind her gift. Safely tucked away in his desk drawer was the charm bracelet and he still intended to give it to her. Even if she never wore it, she would at least know what she'd meant to him. And would always mean to him.

A quick glance at his watch reminded him he had a job to get to, and if nothing else, at least it would provide him with something to do other than brood and feel sorry for himself, which was all he ever did since moving back to his apartment.

Despite how lousy he felt he hoped for a busy day out in the field to get him out of his head and away from the lab. No luck there. No call outs and no fieldwork meant he was stuck indoors with a mountain of paperwork to catch up on. By late day, his concentration was shot, despite a heavy infusion of caffeine. Slumped over in his chair, the only thing he could focus on was the rhythmic tapping of his pen on the closed file folders in front of him. It kept his mind of his jerking knee and the various other twitches he couldn't control.

"Bit too much coffee?" Eric asked as he sidled up to Tim, surprising him.

Jolted from his dazed state, Tim sent the pile of folders flying to the floor in his attempt to sit upright. "Shit," he said, as dozens of papers splayed out on the floor in all directions.

"Here, let me give you a hand," Eric offered, bending down to help. Tim grabbed the papers and set about putting them in their respective folders while his friend eyed him curiously. For three days Eric had held his tongue, despite undoubtedly figuring out what was going on, and Tim had a feeling that was about to change. He doubted Calleigh had said anything Eric, but it wouldn't take much for anyone to see that all was not well between the two. Tim had an idea of what was coming just by the concerned looks Delko was giving him.

"What?" Tim asked gruffly, glancing at his friend through narrowed, hardened eyes.

"You wanna talk about it?" Eric asked hesitantly.

"No," Tim answered brusquely without hesitation, directing his attention back to the files in front of him.

"You wanna talk about it as a friend?" Eric tried again.

Tim sighed heavily. "No," he answered less tersely this time, after all, Delko was just looking out for him and it wasn't his fault Tim's life was in shambles.

"You wanna go out tonight, grab dinner or a drink? Or come by and watch the game? We don't have to talk, I promise. You can pretend I'm not even in the room."

Spoken with a Delko grin, that last comment earned a chuckle. "No, thanks, but maybe another night," Tim answered, appreciating his buddy's concern. Eric knew what today was and what Tim's plans for this evening had been. "I'm beat. It's been a long few days."

"Alright. Later then. Try to get some rest tonight. You look like crap, you know," he said clasping his hand on Tim's shoulder before taking off.

"Yeah, later," Tim mumbled.

Despite his exhaustion, he stayed late to finish his paperwork. He knew where he was heading when he left the lab and was in no hurry to get there. In his mind, the longer he could put it off, the better. There was just no way of knowing ahead of time how well his visit would be received. A quick nodded greeting had been the extent of their contact all day. He hadn't even wished her happy birthday. There had been cake for her in the break room, courtesy of Alexx, but Tim had steered clear. No need to bring her down on her birthday.

So what was he doing at her doorstep feeling his stomach turning itself inside out? If he was lucky, she wouldn't be home, he could let himself in, leave her gift and grab some clean clothes on the way out. That would be ideal, except that he really wanted to see her, more than he cared to admit, even to himself. Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and knocked softly. Hearing her footfall had a direct effect on his pulse rate, as the sound grew closer, his pulse quickened.

"Tim," she said, not hiding her surprise, as she stood staring at him from the doorway.

"Hey," he said for lack of anything better.

"Hi. Do you want to come in?" she asked, now recovered and opened the door completely to let him pass.

"Yeah, thanks." He stepped inside, but didn't move far from the door. "I wasn't sure you'd be home. I didn't know if you made plans for tonight, or if it would be okay to come by. I probably should've called first," he said apologetically.

"It's okay. No plans," she said, studying him. "Did you want to talk? We could sit," she suggested, motioning towards the couch. "Or did you come here to get something?"

"No. I mean, yes, I did come here for something, but no, I don't want to sit," he said, confusing himself. "I didn't get a chance to wish you Happy Birthday today." He had difficulty meeting her eyes as she gazed at him speculatively.

"Oh," she said, lowering her lashes. "That reminds me, I got the flowers. They're beautiful. Thank you." He scrunched his brow and looked at her questionably. She motioned with her hand to the beautiful bouquet sitting on the coffee table. The flowers, he finally remembered, the ones he ordered at Delko's urging to make up for the ones he forgot on Valentine's Day. "It's okay, I know you probably ordered them, before," she said very softly.

"I'm glad they came. Happy Birthday." Leaning in, he lightly brushed her cheek with his lips. Briefly their eyes met and he saw in hers the same sadness he'd been seeing his own. "Okay if I get something out of my desk?" he asked, breaking the awkward silence that had developed between them.

"Of course. Everything is just as you left it. There's some mail for you. I wasn't sure what to do with it…" she said letting her voice trail off.

He nodded. "I'll be just a minute." Heading to the small office, he felt pangs of familiarity along the way.

Opening the drawer, he found the gift where he'd left it and carefully slipped it into his back pocket. He quickly glanced at the mail, but there was nothing that needed his immediate attention. Clothing, though, that was a necessity. He had to grab a clean shirt or two and a couple pairs of shorts before he left. Entering the bedroom, he drew in a sharp breath. It had only been three nights since he'd last slept here, but it felt like much longer. The closet was open and he grabbed the first shirt he saw.

"Tim?" she called from the hallway.

"Yeah, in the bedroom," he answered.

"Oh," she said as she wandered in, her lips parted in surprise. "You're packing?"

"Uh, no. I needed a clean shirt," he answered with rising discomfort.

"Just one? Surely that's not enough. I can see what you're wearing," she said, eyeing him with disdain. "Do you need a hand?" she asked, moving by his side and grabbing random shirts of their hangers. "I can help, I don't have anything to do tonight," she continued as she draped them over his arm.

"Calleigh, you don't need to do this," he said, feeling the sting of her words. Tentatively, he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"It's fine. I don't mind," she said shrugging off his hand. "Do you need some sort of a bag?" she asked, absently searching the room. "If you're leaving, take what you need till you can pack the rest, then you won't have to come back here."

"Calleigh…" he started, but stopped abruptly when he was confronted with her sorrow filled eyes.

"Are you moving out?" she asked in a choked voice.

Dropping his head, he momentarily closed his eyes. There was no way to answer that. He didn't know and thus far hadn't wanted to face the inevitability of that question, but he knew that putting off indefinitely would only hurt them both more in the long run. Looking up, his gaze fell on a single tear making its way down her cheek and he swallowed hard over the lump in his own throat. "I don't know," he answered honestly, lowering his eyes from her tear filled gaze.

"You need to figure that out, because this," she motioned with her hands to him and the closet, "is really hard. But if you're leaving, then make sure you're leaving for the right reasons." Standing straight with her shoulders squared and her hands on her hips, she looked ready to do battle, but her crumbling emotional state told a different story.

"What do you mean?" he asked, taken aback by the question. Uncomfortable under her scrutinizing gaze, he shifted his weight back and forth.

"Leave because you don't love me or leave because you don't want to try and work things out…" she started before he interrupted.

"Calleigh, you know that's not it. You know I love you…"

"Just don't do this because you're too stubborn to do anything else, or because you think in some way this is in my best interest," she said in a shaky voice as she shook her head. He sighed deeply hearing that last comment. "I can't believe you would do that." Moving over to the bed, she sat on the edge and lowered her head while she hugged her arms to her chest. She was crying now, the tears were streaming down both cheeks and she made no pretense of hiding it. He stood motionless, his arms laden with shirts, unable to look away. "Yes, I can," she said in a barely audible voice. "I'm just still surprised. You left, Tim… I never thought you would, but you did."

And there it was. That was what had hurt her the most. And what was he doing now? Leaving her again. He opened his mouth to speak, but he didn't know what to say. The words 'I'm sorry' sounded hollow to his ears. They could never take away the pain he'd caused and was _still_ causing, as the sight of her crying clearly showed him.

The room filled with a silence, save for the sound of his breathing and the sounds of her quiet crying. Pulled from his head by her voice, he walked closer to the bed. "I've always loved it here. I used to love coming home, but now, now it's just not the same. It's so quiet and so neat, it's like no one lives here. It's lonely and it clings to me from the minute I come home till I leave in the morning. I go to sleep on my side of the bed and wake up on the other side," she said, biting on her lip and looking up at him with sad, questioning eyes. He nodded, swallowing hard and made his way to where she sat. Tossing the shirts off to the side, he eased onto the bed beside her. All too well, he knew what that felt like. Each night, he, too, would end up where he expected her to be, instinctively searching her out in the middle of the night. "I miss you. I have a fridge full of leftovers, because I know how you like them when you come home late, but you're not here to eat them," she said as the tears continued sliding down her cheeks, glistening on the pale skin. "I even made macaroni and cheese and I don't even like it."

"I don't like it either. Yours isn't very good."

"What?" she asked, sniffing. "But you love it. It's one of your favorites," she said, looking bewildered as she searched his face.

"It is, but I'm not sure what you do to it. It doesn't have much flavor," he said, grabbing a tissue from the bedside table, grateful that she had stopped crying.

"I didn't know," she said, sounding slightly indignant now, as she wiped her face with the tissue he handed her. "I thought you loved it."

"No, I love that you make it for me," he said turning his body to her. "No one's ever done anything like that for me before. But you did and that was enough, it didn't matter how it tasted," he said, catching her eyes and hoping she could see in his what she meant to him. "I was going to eat it no matter what."

"Oh," she said with understanding, blinking away her tears.

It was the truth, it didn't matter how it tasted, only that she loved him enough to make it in the first place, although he knew she'd be working on her recipe now, trying to figure out which ingredient was missing and how to improve the flavor. He could picture her, hard at work, cleaning as she went along and putting the same energy into her macaroni and cheese as she did in her job, the thought of which was almost enough to bring a smile to his face. As for the two of them, they always had the right ingredients; maybe all they needed was a bit of fine-tuning.

"Cal, I'm so sorry… for hurting you, for walking out, for everything. Can you ever forgive me?" he asked, choked with emotion, barely trusting his voice not to give way.

"I know you are," she said, smiling despite tear filled eyes. "And you don't have to ask for forgiveness, you never did. You just need to trust that it's there."

"I don't know how to get back to where we were." Never had he ever felt as completely lost as he had the past few days. Even the year he dropped out and disappeared directionless, couldn't compare to this. He could only hope she knew the way back. She smiled again, this time all the way up to her eyes, instilling him with confidence that they were going to get through this. Trust, it always came back to trust. You give it away and you get it back in return.

"We don't go back where we were, we start from where we are," she said reaching for his hand and slipping hers underneath.

"Okay," he said nodding. There was no one he trusted more than this woman and if she believed in him and in what they had built together, he'd be a fool not to believe as well. He'd already been enough of a fool; he'd probably used up his quota for the year or maybe for a lifetime, depending on how generous she was feeling. Her hand was under his and he gave it a reassuring squeeze, relishing the way it fit snugly in his. He was going to love her forever. That simple truth had been settled for him some time ago in a parking lot by the beach. And she knew it all along.

"Think you'll be coming home now?" she asked with an unmistakable note of hope.

She as much as said she wanted to see this through that night she came to his apartment, so why did her question still surprise him?

She'd made her choice. It was time to make his.

TBC


	17. Full Circle

Changes in the Wind

Full Circle

The simultaneous sensations roused him from sleep. She was burrowing into his chest and wrapping her limbs around him at the same time, causing gooseflesh to erupt all over his body. As stimulating as he always found her, and judging by his growing arousal, this morning was no exception, she wasn't the cause of his shivering this time. Blindly, he groped for the blanket and found it in tangles down below their waists. That explained why he was so cold, it was freezing in the room and they were lying naked in the bed without covers. It was a surprise he didn't see his breath in front of him, like those cold Syracuse mornings a lifetime ago when his father would turn the heat down at night to save energy. No wonder he lived in Miami, waking up shivering from the cold was unpleasant. Reaching down with his free hand, he pulled the covers up around their shoulders and clasped her to his body.

"So cold…" she murmured in a half asleep trance. "Mmm," she purred, as she snuggled deeper under the blanket and into his flesh.

"You know, you wouldn't be so cold if you didn't kick the blankets off us," he said in a low voice barely over a whisper.

"I was hot," she said in a barely audible voice, before grazing her lips over his chest, bringing forth another round of gooseflesh. "Is it morning already?"

Tim opened a single eye, but had trouble seeing the clock from where he lay and cast a quick glance at the window instead. "Don't know. But there's a little light coming in through the curtain, must be early still. Go back to sleep," he said, dropping a lazy kiss on her head and closing his eye.

"I'm still cold," she complained, leaning further into him and twining her leg around his.

"Well Baby, this is Maine and it is February, it tends to be cold up here this time of year. I promised you the beach in winter and I delivered. And since it took two years to deliver on that promise, but I came through spectacularly, you can't complain."

"Mmm, that you did. It was worth the wait. I didn't mind, we have been a little busy." She moved her lips over his erect nipple, eliciting another round of gooseflesh.

In one fluid motion, he flipped her onto her back and lowered his body over hers. Letting his hands begin their exploration of her soft curves, he heard her sharp intake of breath as she began to respond to his touch. "Think I can raise your body temperature a couple degrees, if you'd like," he said in a throaty whisper, before covering her mouth with his. The sound of faint whimpering grabbed his attention, taking him out of the kiss. His ears perked up on alert, but the room was silent.

"What?" she asked in a whisper, opening her eyes to him.

He shook his head and moved his mouth back over hers, parting her lips with his thrusting tongue. His fingertips ghosted the outline of her full breast, before slowly moving downward, skimming the side of her body to her thigh and coming back to rest lightly on her hip, teasing her with feather light caresses. Squirming beneath him, her hands moved roughly along the length of his back, increasing the pressure and pressing him flush against her. She moaned softly as he moved his lips into her neck, sucking gently, savoring the taste of her sweet and slightly salty flesh. Her breathing increased along with her desire and her hand began to stroke his inner thigh with light tantalizing touches, stoking his growing arousal until the sound of unmistakable whimpering filled the quiet room and brought a halt to their activity.

"No, she can't be. She can't possibly be awake, not now, not again," he pleaded in vain, lifting his head and arching a brow in the direction of the noise.

"Shh. Maybe she'll go right back to sleep," Calleigh reassured, as her hands caressed the sides of his hips.

"God, I hope so. Wasn't she just awake like an hour ago?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.

"No, more like a couple hours ago. She's quiet now, maybe she did go back to sleep," she said before greedily capturing his lips. Both were now impatient with desire and they deftly picked up where they left off, only to be halted when louder, more insistent whimpering filled the room, once more shattering the mood.

"I can't believe it," he growled with frustration.

"Sorry Baby," she murmured soothingly, pressing soft kisses into his chest.

"Still think she's gonna go back to sleep?" he asked with a smirk as he traced a finger down her cheek.

"No and I think that's what she's trying to tell us," Calleigh said, biting on her lip to hide her smile. "Maybe we can pick this up later."

"Quinn, please go back to sleep like a good little girl. Sweetie, you're killing me here," he pleaded, lifting his head in the direction of the portable crib. At the sound of her father's voice, the whimpers became persistent sad cries. "God, she sounds pitiful," he said to his wife, shaking his head.

"You didn't really think that was going to work, did you?" she answered with a laugh she couldn't suppress.

"It was worth a try."

"Once she hears your voice, she knows you're around and that it's only a matter of time before you'll be in to pick her up, so she steps it up until you do. She's smart Tim, she figured you out quickly. She takes after me," she added playfully.

"Cute Cal, you think you're pretty smart, don't you?" he asked before silencing her giggles with his lips. "Two against one, this isn't looking good for my future, is it?" She shook her head, laughing. "You think everything she does is just adorable. You're not going to be thinking that when you realize what you're missing this morning because of her," he said against her lips.

"Oh, I know what I'm going to be missing. How do you think we got her?" she teased.

"Don't remind me," he groaned above the din. "Why does she have such awful timing? I swear she does it on purpose," he grumbled, kissing the hollow above her collarbone.

"She probably heard us and decided she'd rather be with us instead of being alone in her crib in a strange room. Maybe she's scared. We shouldn't leave her to cry." she said with concern clouding her features.

He sighed heavily. "Fine, she wins. You win. I'll get her, you went last time," he said with a kiss, before struggling to get out of the bed. "Damn, I liked it better where I was," he said as his naked body hit the chilled air. Grabbing his robe off the floor, he quickly slung it over his shoulders and padded over to the crib. "I'm coming Quinn. Don't cry, Sweetie." Peering inside, he shook his head at his five-month-old daughter, whose quivering lip and large tears melted his heart with regularity. He gently brushed the tears off her plump, pink cheeks and patted her soft chestnut curls. Tiny arms moved excitedly and the cries subsided. He scooped the wiggling bundle out of the crib, placing gentle kisses all over her face. Secure in her father's arms, her earlier cries became happy babbling sounds. She grabbed a handful of his hair with one fist and a handful of robe in the other. "You do know this is the last romantic weekend I'm taking you on," he said, squinting into a pair of deep brown eyes that matched his own. A toothless grin greeted that pronouncement turning his insides to mush and leaving him completely at the mercy of the spell she'd had him under from the first. _Like mother, like daughter,_ he thought resignedly.

"Grab her toys, Tim," Calleigh called.

"Got 'em," he answered as he bent over the crib and grabbed what he could with his free hand. The sound of her mother's voice elicited more happy gurgles. Jiggling her in his arms as they walked over to the bed, he handed the baby to the outstretched arms of her eager mother, then climbed back into the still warm bed. The baby, now propped against a pillow and safely tucked in between them sucking on a stuffed rattle was completely contented. "This is all she wanted, isn't it? Just to be with us? Calleigh nodded with a grin. "And why exactly did we bring her along on this trip?"

Calleigh shot him a look of mock horror. "What were you planning to do with her, leave her at Delko's for the weekend?" she asked, shuddering as if the very thought was appalling, which it undoubtedly was.

"No, of course not," he said, feeling a twinge of guilt, especially since his buddy had indeed offered to babysit when he first learned of Tim's plan to take Calleigh on a romantic getaway to the Maine coast. But in his defense, Tim only considered taking him up on the offer for maybe a second, if that, before coming to his senses. Wisely, he didn't share the offer with his wife. Alexx would have been a far better choice, not that Calleigh would've considered leaving her still nursing infant with anyone for more than a few hours. Even his mother had failed on each of the occasions she'd offered to take the baby for them.

"I know you, you may have considered it, but you never could've left her. Admit it, you, who are all over her if her bottom lip so much as quivers, couldn't have left her for even a single night."

"I suppose," he reluctantly agreed. Studying the little one next to him, he conceded his wife was right. Since the night she made her appearance, eleven months to the day following their wedding, he'd been unabashedly besotted with her. He had taken to parenting the same way he had taken to marriage, blindly, on a leap of faith and a promise, and with his whole heart and soul. He figured with Calleigh by his side, he couldn't screw up too badly and if he did, she'd be there to set him straight in a heartbeat. Of that, he was certain. It was something he'd come to rely on as one of the only true constants in his life, like loving her. So far, she'd never let him down and he didn't imagine she ever would. "Still, it might be nice if she slept once in awhile. I'd be more inclined to keep her around if she did. Yes, I'm talking about you," he said, eyeing from under his arched brow, the dark-eyed beauty who shared half his DNA, most of it on full display. "And you're kind of a mess," he told her as he wiped a mouthful of drool with the sleeve of his robe.

"Maybe she's teething," Calleigh suggested, pulling the baby onto her lap and sweeping a finger inside of her mouth.

"More sleepless nights and more interruptions to look forward to."

"Nope, not yet, but soon. Don't worry, she'll be sleeping through the night sometime in the near future, then no more interruptions," she said leaning in with a kiss that promised much more.

"Mmm, I'll be looking forward to that. That and her morning nap later," he said returning the kiss with ardor, until the sound of squealing reminded them their lovemaking was on hold for now. "Here let me take her," he said taking his daughter from his wife. "You wanna go back to sleep? This weekend is for you. I'll entertain her. We can look at some books, she likes that."

Calleigh shook her head. "No, but thanks. I'm awake now and besides, I like hanging out with you two. Actually, right now I'm starving. Think the restaurant opens soon?"

"Yeah, probably in an hour or so," he said casting a glance at the clock in the room. "I have an idea. How about we take a walk on the beach till then? The fresh air might make her sleepy," he suggested.

"It's freezing out there. We can't take her out in that cold."

"Calleigh, what do you think people who live here do? Stay indoors till summer?"

"I would," came her smug reply. She wrapped her robe tighter around her body as if already anticipating the chilled sea air.

"Come on, it'll be nice, you love the beach. Besides, my mother sent her enough warm clothing to spend the winter in an Alaskan village."

"That was awfully nice of her to do, considering Quinn won't get much use out of any of it."

"She banking on us making a visit to Syracuse in the very near future, either that or she's planning on showing up on our doorstep for an extended visit. I told her I'd speak to Horatio. Maybe we can take a couple extra days next month," he said with a shrug." I really don't want an extended visit."

"Okay, if you think she'll be warm enough. It might be nice to take a walk. You want me to get her dressed?"

"Nah, I can handle it. You can get yourself ready."

Bundled to within an inch of her life, Tim deemed Quinn ready for the brisk Maine morning. Gently, he placed her in the infant carrier he wore over his coat and turned her head to the side. "I'm not sure she can move, but I'm certain she'll be warm enough," he said, anticipating his wife's question in advance. "You ready?"

"Just a sec, can you fasten this?" she asked, holding the charm bracelet out for him.

"Cal we're going for a walk, not out to dinner," he said slightly baffled, nonetheless complying with her request. He fastened her beloved gift onto her slender wrist, smiling at the mix of charms he'd added over the past two years. The most recent addition was a silhouette engraved with their daughter's name and birth date.

"I don't want to leave it in the room," she explained, buttoning up her coat and grabbing the scarf that didn't see activity during Miami winters. "You're sure she's warm enough, Tim?"

He shook his head in utter disbelief, but couldn't hide his smile. "She's warm enough Calleigh, trust me. I dressed her in everything my mother sent," he said as he held open the door. "She'll be fine."

Unlike the beaches at home, everything about the Maine beaches was much harsher due to the wild, wind-whipped sea. The shoreline was rough, rocky and rugged, yet exceedingly beautiful in its own right. Despite the chill in the air and the heavy gray skies, it was pleasant for a February morning on the coast. If they were lucky they might be seeing a few flakes today, something he knew his wife was eagerly anticipating.

Walking along the rock-strewn shoreline, she leaned in close and wrapped an arm around his waist while he placed his arm around her shoulder. This, he thought to himself with a deep satisfying sigh, was exactly what he never knew he wanted, yet he couldn't imagine his life any other way. She'd opened his heart and helped him learn to trust, while he'd done the same for her. Despite a storm or two along the way, they'd eventually learned to successfully navigate their relationship. And to think, if completely left up to him, they might never have gotten the chance. Nice to know, even he was capable of wising up, he thought with a chuckle.

"What?" she asked with curiosity.

"Nothing, just thinking. Remembering actually, the first time we took a walk along the beach."

"Mmm. I remember that, along with your deer in the headlights look after you kissed me," she reminded, unable to hide her amusement.

"Deer in the headlights look, right," he scoffed. "We had no business kissing, I'm not sure I even liked you very much," he teased. "If you remember, we were just coworkers, we weren't out on a date." he defended. _Or were we?_

He recalled a conversation shortly after Quinn was born that made him ask that very question.

_/ The little bundle swaddled in a pink blanket, with a shock of dark brown hair peeking out from under a knit cap, held his rapt attention. Since making her appearance a few short hours earlier, his heart had grown in size and was now in danger of spilling out of his chest. He swallowed hard over the lump in his throat as he saw her scrunched up face dissolve into plaintive sobs while the nurse checked her over as per hospital routine. Was this how it would always be from now on, he wondered? That this tiny bundle would hold his heart in her tiny grasp, just as her mother did before her?_

_The nurse calmed her with a pacifier and he drew in a sharp breath of relief once the tears subsided. The nurse then turned to him, and held up a single finger indicating she would be returning the baby promptly. He nodded; it wouldn't be a moment too soon as far as he was concerned. He had no intention of letting this precious baby out of his sight for quite some time. Nor was his wife, if her teary, stricken face when the nurse collected the little one was any indication._

_"Timmy." The familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts. "Where is she?" Alexx asked excitedly, wrapping her arms around him and planting a kiss on his cheek while peering through the nursery window._

_"The nurse has her. She's almost finished up with her exam," he answered, barely taking his eyes off his baby girl long enough to acknowledge his friend._

_"Look at all that hair. There's no question who her father is," Alexx teased good naturedly as she spied the new Speedle addition, now minus her cap, through the glass. "Oh Sugar, she is gorgeous, absolutely perfect. You did good, but you already know that, I can see it all over your face." He couldn't help but smile with pride. She was a beautiful, perfect baby, although that was due more to her mother's DNA contribution, not his. The hair, though and the eyes, they were all him. "And how is your beautiful wife?"_

_"She's good, happy. She's pretty tired, it was a long night, but mostly she's just happy," he said, closing his eyes a moment and savoring the blissful memory of their daughter's arrival. "She hasn't stopped smiling, well, except when the nurse took the baby away. I thought she was going to lose it right then. No one was taking that baby away from her, not if she could help it. She sent me to keep an eye on things and hurry them along."_

_"That's her hormones talking, Sugar. What's her name? What did you two finally decide on?"_

_"Quinn. That was Calleigh's choice. I told her she could name her anything she liked," he sheepishly admitted._

_"Of course you did, you never could deny that girl anything," Alexx said with a grin._

_He chuckled and nodded his head. It was the truth, not worth denying. "Quinn Alexandra Speedle."_

_"Ooh, I like that. The middle name a nod to me, I imagine?" she asked smugly._

_"If you'd like it to be," Tim answered, not wanting to admit that they just liked the way it sounded._

_"You know you owe me, Timmy. Both of you."_

_"How's that?" he asked, looking at her from under an arched brow._

_"Come now. You must know it was me that got you two together all that time ago."_

_"How do you figure that?" he asked, his curiosity piqued._

_"I invited you both to dinner, remember?"_

_"Yeah, I sort of remember. Calleigh still loves that restaurant. But we didn't get together that night. It was months later. You didn't have anything to do with it," he said matter of fact._

_"Pish," she said, shooting him a look._

_"Pish?" he repeated with a laugh. "What does that mean?"_

_"It means don't deny something happened that night. I saw you both the next day. That girl had a grin a mile wide and stars in her eyes. And you," she snorted. "You were in a daze all day. My eyes know what they saw."_

_Something else he couldn't deny. She had put him in a daze that night. Kissing her felt like coming home and falling off a cliff at the same time. The feelings both terrified and excited him in a way he'd never felt and he'd still not recovered from it. "Yeah, okay, I suppose you're right about that," he reluctantly admitted with a half smile. "Then, thank you Alexx, for inviting us to dinner."_

_"You're welcome Timmy," she answered, happily watching the baby through the glass._

_The wheels spun in his head as he thought back to the night in question and he eyed her now curiously. "Wait a minute Alexx, you never showed up to dinner that night, someone was sick or something. What aren't you saying?"_

_"I'm not saying anything, Baby. I just invited you to dinner. Now I'm going to go see your beautiful wife, while you wait for your beautiful baby girl," she said, hugging tightly him once more. "But I could see how lonely the two of you were, that's all I'm saying." /_

So maybe it was a date after all. Maybe two lonely people needed a little, or in his case, a lot, of help to see what they couldn't see on their own, that sometimes what you're not looking for is exactly what you need. No matter now, he wasn't complaining, not when his life was filled with an abundance of happiness. He leaned in and dropped a kiss on her temple, one of the few exposed areas of skin he could reach. "I love you, Calleigh. Not a day goes by that I'm not thankful for you," he said, remembering that night on a beach long ago when love finally found him and remembering, too, how easily he almost lost it.

"I love you too, Tim," she said gazing at him with a warmth that took the chill out of the February air.

"The two of you, you're everything to me. I don't know how I got so lucky, or what I ever did right to deserve you," he said in a choked voice.

She smiled at him then, the kind that reached all the way to her eyes, the one he knew was reserved for him only. "You came home, where you belonged."

The End


End file.
